Nanny or Grandma

My grandchildren call me nanny. This happened when my grandson was born and that was the only word he could say for me when he started to talk. It’ll all work out fine !

CrochetJo : I think it may just be that your daughter doesn’t like to think of you as being old enough for the term Nanny, grandma or whatever!! Enjoy the baby anyway, time will sort things out. X

@crotchetjo If it's any conselation my daughter had my granddaughter when she was 17, I was 37. I didn't want to be known as granny, my mil was granny Stewart and she was a witch, trust me. I didn't want Nanny or Nana as I felt I was too young. Eventually, just before my DGD first birthday and before she started talking my DD said I had to choose as DGD would start calling me mum. At her insistence DGD1, calls me gran as do all the rest of my GC. Choose what you want and insist. All my DGCs call me granny when they want to wind me up and we all laugh about it when they do. I'm pretty sure my DC have a hand in it somewhere but I love them all and I'm pretty certain they love me too.

My GD calls me and my DIL’s mum nanny. Now she is talking they need to know which nanny she is referring to when we are not there. We have both been called nanny then our first name to the dogs long before GD came along. My DS and DIL decided to stay with this until my GD decides for herself if she wants to call us something else. She calls us nanny when talking to us but says nanny then our first name when we are not there. I’m very happy with this.

I was hoping for Glam-ma or GiGi from my only grandchild but she came up with her own names for me and my husband....and we love them! ?

You could be Grandma Jo, if that’s your name. My nieces called my mum Grandma La-La and her other Gran was just Grandma. It sounds like your daughter doesn’t like the word “Nanny” which is fine. Just ask her what she wants you to be. It’s not really about what you want to be called, it has to be a name your daughter wants to say and is comfortable with. I’m Nana Mel to my granddaughter and her other grandma is Nana Ange. I would have liked to have been Granny but there you go! You do need a name and your daughter needs to give you one. You sound like a lovely person to have taken your daughter and her partner in, please don’t let this upset you.

Don't know if this response has been posted already. Please think carefully about introducing yourself as Nanny when you're speaking to your DGD as has been suggested. As your DD has rejected this name, don't cause upset by insisting on using it. Tell your DD how excited you are, ask her what she would like you to be called. Whatever your DD chooses when your DGD calls you by this name you will love it from the minute you first hear her say it. Congratulations.

I wanted to be Grandma but others got in first so I am nanny - I"female goat" my DD likes this as my late DM was nanny too. I have friends who are called different things. One of my DG likes to call me Nanna - which I like. As long as I see my DG regularly and have a good relationship with them I really don't mind.

As Gillybob suggested, bring the name into play yourself. Refer to yourself as nanny when interacting with your gd and she’ll automatically think of you as nanny.

Sorry, I haven’t trawled through seven pages, and apologies if this has been said, but I can’t see it’s anything to do with the name, but more your relationship with your daughter. What’s going on? The other three grandparents have their names, but there is “ nothing towards you”. Your granddaughter will obviously know her relationship to you, it couldn’t be hidden, and you’re worried about this, rather than the fact your daughter seems to be pushing you out. Sorry if I’ve misunderstood somewhere, or you’ve been back and explained it.

My husband’s grandmother was called Nan. She was a working class woman. And proud of it. I was proud of her, admired her a lot and loved her dearly. She ruled the family though she loved us all fiercely. Once my daughter, when a little girl, called her “Lil”, which was Nan’s name and was firmly told, “You don’t call me that”. CrochetJo, I agree with you, you should decide what you want to be called. But weeping all day and telling yourself your grandchild won’t know you are her grandmother is working yourself up into an unnecessary state. Of course she will know you are her grandmother. Assert yourself instead.

Riverwalk

^I was so lucky to have my Grandma in my life until I was 54 and a grandma myself. She was a great, great grandma and for 10 years we were a 5 generation family . I took my own grandchildren to see her every week and they called her “little Grandma” as she was tiny ^

gilly you were very privileged to have that generation span, and for so long.

'Little Grandma' - aww

I was indeed privileged Riverwalk she was the best grandma I could have ever wished for and I still miss her every single day .

Having read through 6 pages of comments on names for grandparents I am returning to OP's point, that she is upset at her daughters reaction to her desire to be known as 'nanny' and that as no alternative has been suggested she is not referred to in any context which reflects her status as grandmother to her new precious granddaughter. For what it is worth I would advise cautious diplomacy in finding a way forward. Emotions run high in the weeks following a new arrival as everyone adjusts to their new roles and OP's daughter is very young. Personally I would let my daughter know how proud I was of her, how much I loved her and my new granddaughter and simply ask if she had any preference as to what I should call myself when chatting to the little one. I would have a couple of suggestions that I liked to hand in case I was asked my own preference. I understand that OP is upset that her own choice of name was rejected but as the grown up I think she needs to move on and accept that her grandchildren will find their own name for her anyway, and that will be all the more precious because they chose it. Don't make an issue out of this, as others have said enjoy this time. Other grandparents have yet to meet their new arrivals let alone have the opportunity to to cuddle them.

Hi Crochetjo, I totally empathise with how you’re feeling. I think our emotions are very heightened during this strange life we’re living now but sons/daughters/son-in-law’s/daughter-in-laws can be so hurtful.,I’ve also spent most of today in tears over son and daughter-in-law. I have no answers as I have none for myself! But just wanted you to know I empathise and you’re not alone X

I am Granny but. when the granddaughters were little they couldn’t say it and said “Raggy” Now they are older we are back to Granny.

My SIL’s mother also wanted to be Granny so she was Granny (her name) and I was Granny Wales because I loved there at the time .

Both my grandmothers were called Nana. My MIL was Grandma which I don’t personally like and never wanted to be called that. The first time your grandchild says “I love you “ you won’t care what name comes after

Congratulations on being a grandparent. I can understand your feelings on your daughter's, in laws having a name and you are still waiting, but your chosen name will come soon enough. Your grandaughter is far too young to know who is who, so try not to stress about it too much and just enjoy having the baby around. x

You could always just ask your DD gently of course, what would she like you to be called, there may be a reason she doesn’t want Nanny that you don’t know .
Ps welcome to the wonderful world of grannyhood

I have nevef heard if any tradition about what maternal or paternal grandparents are called because that would mean my children would be calling my Mother a different name to what my brothers children would use which is ridiculous.

Agreed on all counts, Daisyboots. I’m a proud Nanna to all of mine, whether my daughters’ children or my son’s. Life’s complicated enough without having to remember what name you’re going under today.

No not know!

When my DS and DIL had their first child I was already known as Grandma to my DD’s children. My DIL said her mother wanted to be Grandma. I replied that this was fine and that I could be Grandma Jane and she could be Grandma Susan ( not the real names). She said know as only the surname could be used eg Grandma Jones as it wasn’t appropriate for a child to use the first name. In the end I stayed Grandma and her mother became Gaga.

As you can see from my handle I am Nanny to my 7 grandchildren and love my name.

I have nevef heard if any tradition about what maternal or paternal grandparents are called because that would mean my children would be calling my Mother a different name to what my brothers children would use which is ridiculous.
My MIL felt she was too young to be a grandmother but chose to be called grandma which I felt sounded very old. My mother was Nana and so am I. So when my grandchildren came along we were each known as Nana followed by our Christian name. One relative is known by her Christian name by her children and grandchildren so each to their own.
CrochetJo don't get upset by this because it will soon settle down and when you talk to the baby you will use the name Nanny and soon everyone will get used to it and start using it. Congratulations on your new baby granddaughter.

Welcome to Gransnet, CrotchetJo. such an emotional time when a baby comes into the family - for everyone. It is too hot, we are all dealing with an upside down world, and it sounds as if you need to be kind to yourself. This will undoubtedly resolve, and if i were you I would take a deep breath, splash my face wtih cold water, and try to relax. Congratulations on the new baby - how lovely to be a grandparent, and whatever you are eventually calledwon't alter the joy. There will be many happy times to come.

As long as they love me I don't care nanny or grandma but a few, of my friends are a bit iffy about it. GD refers to her other nanny as holiday nanny as she lives in Spain and that equates holidays. On the other hand I am referred to as Gypsy nanny as that is the name of our dog who she loves. It has raised a, few eyebrows but I find it hilarious.

OP it will sort itself out. My GD made her own mind up on what she would call me and whatever she decided upon I can live with because what is in a name it is the cuddles that count.

^Nannan2
“Grandma' or Gran is by tradition used for the maternal side- the baby's mum's own mother.The term 'Nanna' ,or nan,nanny,is traditionally given to the paternal side- the baby's Dads own mother”

I’ve honestly never heard that before. I’m Gran to both my daughter and son’s children as was my Mum to all hers on both sides. I called both paternal and maternal grandmothers Gran.
One set of my cousins called our maternal grandmother Nanny. They labelled our grandfather Nanny’s Daddy when they were toddlers! The name affectionately stuck and they called him NannysDaddy till the day he died.