Losing my Husband

Msida so sorry for your recent loss . My DH died 8 months ago and still every night when I settle down to (hopefully) go sleep he is in my mind , in a way comforting . It is so natural after living with someone for many years . After 8 months I am still finding life hard without his presence in my life , even though he wasn’t the easiest of partners ! So take it very slowly and maybe tell your family how you feel and you need a bit more of their time for a while . I find babysitting the grandchildren very soothing and gives me a purpose .

Msida, when I lost my husband (long ago) I found that, for the first six months or so, I 'forgot' overnight. I'd wake in the morning, then after a minute or two, I'd remember he was gone and feel so upset.

I was told that it was just the mind protecting itself so that I could rest.

Later, I 'knew' all the time, so waking was less traumatic.

I had a recurring dream, though, that as I went downstairs, he unexpectedly strolled through the door. I'd say 'What are you doing here? You died!'

The brain/mind certainly does strange things at times!

Msida I am so sorry. Such a hard time for you. My husband died many years ago but I still dream of him sometimes.
The first months and years after a loss are very up and down. You will get through as many others on GN have. All I can tell you is that it does get better, although I know you can't believe that right now.
My husband lives on through our children and grandchildren. They never leave completely.

Msida, although I have no religion, I too felt that I should also be dead. I felt incomplete, a lost fragment of a person, mortally wounded - yet appearing OK and coping from the outside.

I had a lot of sympathy and support at first (when I was feeling pretty numb and didn't need it), then, yes, life moves on and it really hit me after about nine months.

By then, everyone was off doing their own stuff, assuming I'd coped with it. A library book about the stages of grief really helped me. I was reassured that my feelings were quite normal.

I threw myself into study, a degree course that I'd never have done, normally. It was a challenge, a fresh new focus - and it brought a welcome group of new friends with it.

My whole identity had changed (or was changing) and they had no expectations that I'd remain the same 'old me'. I found their company so refreshing and much easier than being with family and old friends at that time.