Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Is it really that bad to say I don't like prospective baby names?

(155 Posts)
NanAng Fri 16-Oct-20 14:43:53

I'm new to the forum, first grandchild on the way but i'm really sressed out about prospective girls names that are being mentioned. Does anyone else feel this way?

Ilovecheese Fri 16-Oct-20 16:33:13

There are lots of unusual names in the classroom nowadays.
The child can always change it herself later on if she really hates it. A couple of my friends did this and are now known by the name of their choice.

The answer to your straight question though is "yes"

Hithere Fri 16-Oct-20 16:39:46

Any name can be modified to be made fun of, whether it is traditional, unusual, etc

PinkCakes Fri 16-Oct-20 17:15:40

NanAng You'll have to either hope that the parents change their minds, accept whatever name is being chosen, but either way, it's their decision.

My youngest Granddaughter has got an old-fashioned name, which I really didn't like to begin with, but it's grown on me, and she's a lovely, sweet child.

GagaJo Fri 16-Oct-20 17:19:56

I don't like my grandson's name. But I adore him so now, that name = love ❤️ to me.

I would say nothing at all about it. From the way you worded your post, it sounds as if 'the mum isn't your daughter. You need to tread on egg shells or you could get excluded from your GC's life. It happens ALL the time, you only have to look on this forum to see that.

Toadinthehole Fri 16-Oct-20 17:21:19

Absolutely don’t say anything/ any more. You’ll probably find, if you don’t like it at first, it’ll grow on you, because you’ll associate it with someone you love....your granddaughter. Congratulations on the coming event, and just enjoy. We don’t want to see you on the estrangement threads!😮

Toadinthehole Fri 16-Oct-20 17:22:33

Aww, didn’t see your post Gagajo, you’ve confirmed exactly what I said!

grannyrebel7 Fri 16-Oct-20 17:26:04

My little GD has a friend called Bailey Blue and all the other kids just accept it. I agree with everyone who said keep quiet about your views. Their child their choice!

GrannySomerset Fri 16-Oct-20 17:32:29

Yes, just smile! Though having an unusual name (only ever come across one other) was a pain when I was young, I have appreciated it more and more in adult life. I would worry about an apparently illiterate spelling of a familiar name, but that is just a personal snobbery. And I would keep quiet about that too.

Granny23 Fri 16-Oct-20 17:33:06

A classmate of my DD's had the perfectly ordinary name of Christopher Smith. No problem until he went to high school and prefered to be just Chris. Then he was faced with a barrage of in-jokes, particularly in December as everyone started to refer to Chis Smith's Cards, dinners, puddings, presents, trees, carols etc. He was also teased when his Birthday came round because he was the only child to get Chris Smith's presents for his birthday. The other thing that can happen is that the child has a perfectly nice, sensible name until someone with the same name becomes infamous.

Best to use a formal name that has various shorter versions e.g. Alexander, which can become Alex, Alec, Sanders, Zanders or Sandy (or Margaret = Meg, Mags, Maggie, Marquerite, Margo, even Greta) to suit the child as he/she grows up.

Hithere Fri 16-Oct-20 17:53:33

Love Bailey Blue!

BlueBelle Fri 16-Oct-20 17:58:56

I like Bailey Blue too

25Avalon Fri 16-Oct-20 18:05:26

My great great grandad was called Bailey but it was pronounced balley as in valley. I always thought it was a Devon/Somerset nickname for bailiff but no Bailey was a popular name at that time. As it’s origins are German maybe something to do with Prince Albert.

MamaCaz Fri 16-Oct-20 18:06:36

OP, unless you are explicitly asked what you think of the names they are considering, say nothing.
If you are asked, consider your response very carefully and above all, be very tactful!

Congratulations on your approaching grandparenthood. ☺

mokryna Fri 16-Oct-20 18:24:37

Not my family, but someone told me that their future daughter would be called Fanny. Very well know in literature but I did point out the if she worked in other countries as he did, it would be very fair on her Another name was chosen.

mokryna Fri 16-Oct-20 18:25:58

Sorry .....that....... it would not be

LadyStardust Fri 16-Oct-20 19:00:14

A social worker once told me there was a child known to them called Chlamydia! Some Irish names are often spelled completely differently to the pronunciation. Aoibh = Eve and Niamh = Neeve. A child often grows into their name and you can't imagine them being called anything else eventually! I personally wouldn't mind a quirky name!

Luckygirl Fri 16-Oct-20 19:18:10

i'm just trying to make her see things from a different perspective .......oh no! Not a great idea.


welbeck Fri 16-Oct-20 19:27:58


Wish someone had stopped my Mums choice for me , nearly 83 years later I have never met anyone named the same , even as a surname it isn’t common

higginbottom ?
shufflewick ?
oh do tell ! but i suppose it would be too outing.
can you not devise and use your own version, maybe initials, or an alter ego completely, choose another.
it's never too late. if you can't do what yo want, be called what you want, at your age, when can you.
good luck.

Bridgeit Fri 16-Oct-20 19:54:54

Firstly, may I ask if you choose a name for your own child/children ?
What is there to be stressed about ? ?
enjoy & love being a Nan, Gran or Grannie .
It’s not worth or worthy of any more thought. ( Could they be lightheartedly teasing you? Just a thought .best wishes .

Oopsminty Fri 16-Oct-20 20:14:13


Not my family, but someone told me that their future daughter would be called Fanny. Very well know in literature but I did point out the if she worked in other countries as he did, it would be very fair on her Another name was chosen.

I really wanted to call my youngest daughter, Myfanwy.

I love the name. So pretty. My little lovely one.

However a friend mentioned it could well be abbreviated to Fanny.

So I decided against it.

Marydoll Fri 16-Oct-20 20:19:54

When I was teaching there was a rumour going round teaching circles that there was a pupil in Glasgow with the name, Pocahontas McGinty. Certainly unforgettable.

paddyanne Fri 16-Oct-20 21:08:42

My mother didn't like my daughters name ,its not an unusual name by any means she just didn't like it .She decided she'd call her by her middle name and did for about six weeks even though I told her not to.It took an intervention from my Dad to get her to stop .
Then she used a shortened version of the name,never the full name
.I love my GC's names ,most are very traditional names ,one has a name that no one else in her school or area has and one has a name thats fashionable that I wasnt really keen on.She has grown into it in her year here and we couldn't imagine her being called anything else.

Jayt Fri 16-Oct-20 21:28:31

Sorry, NanAng, but you have no say in this at all. My husband and I never asked opinions about our children’s’ names and would have been most put out if anyone had criticised them. Children tend to grow into the names they are given by their parents. Just keep out of it and smile.

GrannyRose15 Fri 16-Oct-20 21:37:30

When we were talking about names for our firstborn my FIL said, What's all this about names, he's going to be named after me isn't he? We gave our son his grandpa's name as a middle name. In contrast our daughter has chose both her sons' names and kept them secret even from their father until they were born. Both names came as a bit of a shock to me but you soon get used to unusual names and they become as special as the child who bears them.

TrendyNannie6 Fri 16-Oct-20 21:38:04

No I certainly wouldn’t be getting my knickers in a twist over the name of any of my grandchildren, not my child so not my business, if I wasn’t keen I’d just keep quiet, all I would be concerned about is that the baby was healthy