Is it really that bad to say I don't like prospective baby names?

Some of my grandchildren have 'unusual names, but as other people have said. Not our children. Not our choice. All you would do is cause friction. One of my close friends has a grandson called Stanley and she detests it but has a nickname that she uses which gets her over having to use a name she can't stand. Neither of the parents would ever know how she feels. They are now having a second baby and my friend is waiting with bated breath lol

I think that whatever the child’s name, they seem to grow into it or, maybe, we just get used to it. My granddaughter has a very definite boy’s name, although, at a push, it could be seen as a diminutive of a girl’s name. I don’t think anyone who knows her even gives it a thought now.

Why does she have a boy’s name? My daughter ‘met’ a little boy on the bus, liked his name and decided to use it for her expected baby, not even considering it might be a girl. She stuck with it and after a very short time, I grew to like it. I never criticised her for her choice but her in-laws did and it caused hard feelings.

Perhaps you could suggest an extra middle name with some plausible excuse - family name/ in memory of ....giving the child an alternative as they grow up? I was always called by my middle name by my parents but changed to my first name at secondary school. (60 plus years later I have to really think hard when signing letters or cards!) There was nothing wrong with either of my names - just couldn't be bothered to explain to all the different subject teachers at High school that I was called by my 2nd name!

A friend telling me that her new grandchild is to be named Aurora just shrugged and smiled. Not our business to protest a name.

My youngest always asked me how I honestly felt about the names she chose for her four. I would answer truthfully if there was one I didn’t like and she would tease me for months, Are you used to it yet? But she is very easy going and we are very close.

I wouldn’t have dared to say anything but ‘lovely name’ to my other children’s choices for their offspring as I knew they wouldn’t be happy.

I think you are very judgemental- different generation - different likes and dislikes. You will get used to what ever name they choose and live the child I’m sure

Their baby, their choice. You’ll get used to it.

I remember a rather Mrs. Bouquet neighbour who’s daughter was named Gloria. All the children called her Glue!
My friend was aghast when her new GD was named Pebbles. ‘Pebbs’ is now a lawyer.
I was flabbergasted when my DS and DIL named their new son after the road where I live! Both names are genuine names, but it seemed so odd. Now I love the tribute they made to their heritage.
My DD and her Peruvian DH only agreed on names three weeks after my GD arrived. They kept translating names back and forth between English and Spanish, and he didn’t want a duplicate of one of his numerous family names. She was finally named Sophia Milana, which I like.
Through all my GC’s naming I have firmly kept quiet, unless asked for an opinion, which I have diplomatically given. Even disliked names become part of the child, after a while, and you just accept it, and even grow to like what they are called.
The last thing you should do is interfere.

I remember before first grandchild was born being curious about the names they had chosen, they had elected not to know if boy/ girl. When delivery time came after many complications and we thought we might loose our wonderful daughter we realised that a name is of very little consequence as long as mum and baby are well. In fact the name they chose would suit a boy or a girl and we love her dearly, we would have love her whatever.

Hold your peace! It’s the parents choice. You will love the child whatever the name.

Nanyang, it’s their baby, not yours, so don’t interfere. You’ll probably end up having a pet name for the child that only grandma uses. Just enjoy the child.

Times have changed Names I find pretentious or odd are fashionable now. Your grandchild will not be the odd one out if they have a strange name. Keep quiet, it's the parents decision. You can always use a shortened version if you really hate it. My friends daughter called her son Malachi, which my friend hates, but everyone calls him Kai which sounds quite good.

I feel very strongly about names. Although ultimately it is the parents’ choice, I don’t agree it’s nobody’s business but theirs. There is the wider family to consider. It matters a lot. You don’t want to feel ashamed of your grandchild’s name, as my brother is! My sister-in-law said “I cringe every time I say it”.

I was very nervous before my grandchildren were named. Some of the names under discussion were pretty awful. Thank heavens they finished up with good, unembarrassing names.

I don’t understand how it’s upsetting you so much, surely as long as the baby is healthy and loved that’s what is important. Please don’t make this about you being embarrassed telling your friends etc what your new grandchild is called, there are many unusual names in the classrooms of today. Once baby is here the name will seem irrelevant. Just smile and say nothing not even trying to steer her another way.

On the other hand, the parents may well actively want your opinion. A bland 'that's nice, dear' can be a bit of a dampener.

Looking back, our own parents' approval of the names we chose for our 3 DD was quite important to us and we'd prob have switched from something they disliked.

My daughter chose the name of her daughter before she even became pregnant! I wasn’t sure at first but when she arrived she fits her name perfectly. On the name lists published there are no others (they list if more than 2 are given that name in any one year). It is a proper name but French and as my daughter and SiL got married in France and love all things French it fits perfectly. Will be interesting when she starts school next year though. When we tell people her name they either think it is very unusual or know exactly where it comes from.

If the name or the order of the child's given names and surname are capable of a rude interpretation then point this out kindly. I knew someone who was very grateful to the minister who baptised him for suggesting his parents reversed the order of his names, as otherwise his initials would have been F.A.R.T.

Otherwise don't get involved.

If your grandchild later on finds his/her name a burden, he or she can change it, or insist on a conventional spelling.

I wouldn't risk spoiling this new relationship by commenting adversly on the parents' choice.

Don’t say a word! My beautiful granddaughter has a boy’s name - it may have been popular as a girl’s name in the 1930s. Her other two names are rather different too!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Say nothing. You will get used to the name in time and it is not your child anyway. All 4 of my grandchildren have names which suit them well. They will not forget it if you show your disapproval. Develop a nickname for her/him if you really have to...Flower/Pickle/Angel/Junior...

When my eldest son was born my MIL kicked off about his middle name which upset us [lucky she accepted his fist name!]. It is a perfectly normal bible name and now my son gave it to his own son as his middle name.

As a teacher who taught hundreds of kids, you look at the list of first names in September...
But once those names become people, you forget that you thought their name was 'odd'.

Just keep quiet. Whatever their given names they will probably be nicknamed something quite different!

NanAng - why are you stressed out?

How will your life be changed for the worse if your new GC had a name that you hate?

I don't know why but there are two boys names which I really, really don't like for some obscure reason. I don't know why but they have always annoyed me. My sons ex girlfriend gave birth to a boy child 10 years ago. No guesses for what they named the poor child! No, my son was never ever aware that I didn't like that name so it wasn't done through spite but isn't it ironic? I never said a word, none of my business ... but I feel so sorry for the poor child being lumbered with that name..

My daughter is a teacher and she has a girl called Vulva (it’s spelt slightly differently but this is how it sounds) and a boy called gallbag (both families from abroad). Can you even imagine?

I am always amused that so many small girls seem to have the same names as my grandmother's friends. One of my daughters has a slightly unusual name but I reckoned it always got her a job interview, the other daughter had her name chosen by her dad and it was only years later I realised it was a boys name in a different country. You will get so used to the name given that you won't even think about it after a short while. All the GC have names I wouldn't have thought of.