Christmas and presents

I understand where you're coming from but I also understand the request for money rather than gifts. This year I'm asking for money so that I can put it towards a Swytch wheel. I need to save £500 for it. Cash gifts will go a long way towards it. I give money to the grandchildren because they have everything so gifts just add to an already large pile and get lost in it. Money means they can think about what they want and spend it later when the excitement of so many new toys has worn off.

Sparkling

We came to the conclusion a while ago that our ACs would prefer, or needed, cash rather than something to eat/dust/give to a charity shop. Since then we have compromised by sending them a cheque or gift card but this is popped into a box with a beautiful Christmas bauble (year dated) for their tree.

They get the useful monetary present and I get the fun of choosing and wrapping the Christmas baubles, which I love!

I also heard recently about a family who, instead of writing lists of presents they’d like, had to write three things they did NOT want for Christmas! Probably a lot easier to think of than those long Wish Lists.

Liverbird66. We get round it as my 6 year old Grandson opens his presents with Mummy and Daddy in the morning and then they come tround to us later in the day. I always keep a couple of presents back and place them in our fireplace and then I say that Santa dropped them down my chimney, as he thought that GS would be going to see his Nana later in the day. He is quite happy with that. This year, I have got vouchers for Harry Potter world for GS, Mummy and Nana, as I want to go as well! They are in a nice presentation envelope and it will be a magical surprise! We will get to go at some point next year!

Minerva, I have long said ( and been pilloried for it!) that I would much prefer if everybody joined in and said that we pretend that Santa brings the gifts. I know that my children were never any less enthusiastic when they were going along with the story for the sake of the younger ones. I suspect many children don’t let on to save spoiling it for their parents, rather than the other way round!

We always make christmas lists and then family can choose what they wish to buy for you. Children always confirmed with each other about what they are getting me so no one duplicates and I do the same with the children (all adults ). Works a treat and it is still a surprise on christmas day

I think what you are being is hypocritical, as they gave you their reasons and then you said that YOU don't always like what THEY give you either- which is more or less same isn't it? So why not just agree to what they asked but give them a choice of 2 or 3 items you really want for them to choose one for you? Then you know you really are getting something you want, but still getting a gift to open?Or say you will accept money same as them but mention to the 'main gift buyer' (usually a DD or D-in-L) that you'd like something small to actually open on the day though- a book or scarf etc.? As for my lot- well even my youngest childs(17 now) nanna has been giving just money since he became a teenager as they ''wouldn't know where to start" (her words) in the gift world for video games etc. And my own GC as they have changing favourites i usually ask for a few to choose one from or whats the current favourite, and then make sure i check with their parents first to see that im not buying same as them.But yes it works out well.I myself have 3 DD's who get me 'surprises', a D in L who asks if theres anything id particularly like& tries her best to get it, a son who usually gets me a giftcard or money if i want, and two youngest live at home (22&17) so elder one asks if theres any thing i need (usually slippers!) and orders it on amazon, then tells youngest to pay half towards it.?

It was a sad moment when my GC asked for money presents for birthdays and Christmases! DH still gives them presents (as well as giving them cash!) and they're very kind when they open them but I can see cash is king with them now. Even the eight year old often tells me how much money he's accumulated in presents. I think back to when I was little and I can still remember being hardly able to breathe with excitement on Christmas morning. One big present, two little ones, I can even remember what they were some years... Our family didn't have much money but I think we had a whole lot more of the things that matter.

The rule in our family is that grandchildren receive money, so they can use it to put towards something they need, grown-ups get token presents. I'd be perfectly happy with nothing.

I think we have to be very careful about vouchers, many stores are simply not going to survive this next couple of months, January inevitably will see another major shakeout in the retail economy

I give money to my kids and their's as I'd sooner not waste it on things they don't want. I buy them a very cheap little present to open, say some chocolate or a little frippery.

Liverbird66

Hi, I am new here but desperate for advice. My son and his partner have two beautiful daughters aged 2 and 7 months. We are now approaching our 3rd Christmas as grandparents to our girls and I feel like I am at war with my son and partner.
They have told us that all gifts are to come from Santa, they will pick up our presents and take them away and Santa will deliver them. I have agreed to a selection of gifts to go to Santa but I have said that we want presents under our tree from us to the girls and we have been told no everything comes from Santa. I just can't let this happen we also have an 8 year old grandson to my older son, how awful would I feel giving him presents whilst my Granddaughters sit and get nothing. They just will not compromise with me and its breaking our hearts.

I am totally with you on this. Partly because it hopefully teaches children to say thank you for aunty grandad or whoever! For us the stocking was from Santa and everything else from the named person.

I insist on present ideas for grown up children as I worry about getting something they don't like/want.

I really don't enjoy the whole present buying/receiving thing and would be much happier if I could just bung some money in a card for them!

craftyone

lucca, try reading my post properly. the comprehending remark was made just after the word `sparkling ie it belonged to the word. You always try to rile me with wooden spooning, I am sorry for you, I have a happy life because I have a naturally happy optimistic nature and I have a very loving and very considerate family. Can I help you to comprehend?

I wasn’t rude . I said I didn’t understand - as far as I am aware asking for explanation is allowed on GN ? And I have no recollection of “always” trying to rile you ? Examples ?
I don’t know what “wooden spooning “ is

You have actually upset me implying I might not have a loving and considerate family as in fact nothing could be further from the truth even if one lot live on the other side of the world.

My daughter is really helpful in providing links to things I can buy online from their lists. I am very lucky that her children often ask for dressing gowns or PJs, which are easy to find.
My son’s children have for years now asked for vouchers. I think I am safe with Am-z-n, though I don’t much like doing that, but they do enjoy going shopping after Christmas.
Adults are a different matter. There is nothing we need or want, really, and I end up with things I don’t want, scented candles etc., even a hamper of sweet goodies although DH is diabetic and I am overweight. I would prefer to stop exchanging gifts between adults.

ChrisO we do exactly the same and it was how my Mum and Dad did it too. If there a paricularly large gift, a mock one is wrapped under three with a clue, often a ditty to lead to the real present.

My generous SIL has inundated me with expensive scarves, pashminas, snoods etc, I'm not a scarf wearer. How do I stop her ? I groan at the thought of another squidgy parcel

Give thought to those who may not be able to buy presents because they have lost their job. This situation may be difficult for someone in most Families this year moreso than ever.

Liverbird66
Why not let them give your big gifts from Santa but buy some other little gifts to give them when they come to you, along with your gs. If pressed you could say that Santa left them at your house.

I feel Christmas presents cause unnecessary angst amongst families. We donate to charity but give each ac family some cash. I personally don’t want any gifts nor does my husband.

Hi all
This year, for the first time I suggested to my ACx3 that we don't need to exchange Christmas gifts. They all agreed and were more than happy about it. What with another lockdown looming over us it won't be easy to go shopping and choose gifts. It will take a lot of the stress out of the festive season.
We have already got gifts for our DGCx2 and hopefully they will enjoy playing with their new toys.

My sisters suggested cash instead of presents for charity or landfill, then said what’s the point in exchanging cash ?‍♀️??. My AC and GC all have Amazon lists so everyone is happy and stress free. Works for us plus I have hours of fun creating my wish list. Xx

I forgot to mention DH has never been bothered about receiving or giving presents so I have always done it, am getting rid of a big chore for myself. Having said that he helped choose the DGC's gifts and actually enjoyed it!

I feel a bit peeved with the post from toadinthehole. We too are a Christian family and enjoy giving gifts at Christmas to help celebrate such a special time. The gifts are carefully chosen, wrapped and given with love to represent the gifts given to the baby Jesus.

Do your own thing Sparkling. If you enjoy buying presents say so, but say that you will only be buying token gifts (put your own limit on the present - say £10 or so because you enjoy wrapping and giving gifts and that you will also give a token. Use it as a way if cutting back - don't go overboard with the tokens!! I give Sil and Dil money or tokens but give the GC gifts (I ask if there is anything they would like and buy some extras. DD and DS get presents from shops I know they use with gift receipts. It will be harder to shop this year because of Covid and restrictions.