What would you have done

Next time you go round, make sure you wear a mask and distance yourself as much as possible.

I am sorry that your DD sees social services as a threat - whilst their prime concern is the safety of the children (as I am sure yours is too) they can often be very helpful in this sort of circumstance, providing advice, support nd practical help....although the virus is hampering what they can do at present.

It is vitally important that your DD does not allow this man into her home. Try www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/ - this is the national domestic abuse helpline. And Women's Aid is also good: www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

You can ring these yourself to get advice as to how you might best help your DD. You do not have to reveal your name.

It must be hard for you to assess exactly how much risk your DD and DGC are under; this is why you need external help. It does not all have to fall to you. And you do not have to place yourself at risk. You went round - this establishes that you care - so future communication could be via the phone.

Oops crosse posted! Sending a virtual hug.

Are your son or other daughter involved in this drama?

Maybe they can help you.

I think unless you know the OP and their situation personally its unwise and tbh quite cruel to imply she did the wrong thing by automatically going with her first instinct to refuse.
I can imagine another thread where maybe the daughter has frequent such dramas and the OP would maybe viewed as having her own wellbeing damaged by constant dramas.
They have been separated for several years,surely other measures could have been put in place such as a restraining order. Maybe it's one of those boomerang relationships that destructive to all involved including extended family.
There are other family members. It appears when OP got there a friend of her daughter was already there.
Wise decisions are almost impossible in the early hours.
The partner threw a glass of wine over her, was she drinking to?
Undoubtedly the OP would have put herself at risk. Maybe unnecessarily.
Maybe advising a conversation in calmer times about what happened,how to stop a repeat. Maybe say you would call the police yourself.
For contributors to state they would disregard guidelines without a second thought is not only unhelpful but probably adding to the anxiety of OP. Just plain nasty.

It sounds as though there’s a long history here. The protocol is for police called to domestic abuse to refer to children’s services. It sounds as though this may have happened previously given your daughter’s response to your suggestion the police be called.
Children are always emotionally distressed by domestic abuse. It puts them at risk of emotional and possible physical harm especially if alcohol is involved.

Good morning, Susanne. I hope things are ok today and that man has slid back under whatever rock he'd been under.
Can you get yourself tested to put your mind at rest? There are centres in some places where you can just turn up.
Your daughter should do the same for her and the children.

Wow, this is a tough one. I feel your daughter put you into a tough position. She should have called the police if in danger. Unfortunately, as adults, they make choices that they have to see through. Perhaps, if he is a nasty guy, this will finally end the relationship. Don't feel bad, is it worth dying for? You can still be super supportive of her, via the telephone. Don't feel bad, phone her support her keep safe.