Being a good grandma/nanny

I see you've had great responses but I have to chime in because you sound so much like me :-)
First let me say you sound like an awesome grandma. I recently asked for help on this forum to deal with grief over my grandchildren's upcoming move across the country ( I live in USA )
I too have had much loss as a child and wasn't mothered. I've come to find through lots of therapy that this leaves us with abandonment issues which have escalated for me.I worry about losing my place as grandma
I think this may be what you worry about. That some how the grandkids won't love you.
I think your grandkids love you a bunch!
You sound like a hard grandma not to love :-) Just keep being you!

Nannymagic, I personally feel that all parenting, including the grand kind, has got too competitive. What the children will remember is someone who is gentle, kind and reliable, and above all someone who loves them and LISTENS. Always, and unjudgementally. That's what they will love you for. For being there through thick and thin and believing in them. On a practical level, does the onus have to be on you? Perhaps you could ask them what they would like to do, instead of having ideas imposed on them. It will likely be something which wears you out / bores you stiff within minutes, but they will adore you for taking them seriously and seeing it through. Ask yourself what you would like from your own grandparents, too, if you had your time again. Anyway, I think the battle is already won, because you sound lovely.

Nannymagic17... Your trying too hard, your grandchildren will pick up on that tension. Having a childs tea party sounds like an excellent idea, include some dollies or teddies too. Just be you, children love cuddles and tickles too, ask them what they'd like to do, that way your doing what they enjoy. Good luck, but you won't need it.

My only GM, cared for by my aunt, was very frail and never moved out of her chair when we visited. However, she was happy to keep a toy cupboard for her GC and she enjoyed chatting to us. A special lady, much-loved and remembered, even though she died when I was still a young child. I'm sure most children just want someone to be happy taking time to be with them and listen to them, activities are a welcome bonus. Perhaps you are anxious because of your own losses and not having seen them so much? You sound a lovely Nanny, I would have loved a doll's tea party, thank you so much for the idea - to be put on the list for future activities with my own DGC. So nice to hear everyone else's ideas too, thank you.

I have my old doll and teddy and DGD, who is just 4 loves giving the doll a bath. She also loves playing with the Christmas nativity stable so I keep it up all year. Playdough is easy to make and hours of fun with a small rolling pin and some fancy cutters. She also enjoys playing with magnetic plastic letters.

Just a suggestion without knowing ya'll. Ask your grandson questions about his favorite activities, ask questions about his friends, his classes. Perhaps email him an article about whatever he likes to do once in awile. Get a subscription to a sport magazine (whatever). Ask if he'd like to earn some money for something he wants by helping in your garden. Would he like to learn how to make brownies from a mix, go to an outdoor skate park. Maybe you and he could work on s memory book about you and Grandpa? Good luck!

I send my granddaughter any pictures of cute animals I see in the press or on line, for example a lamb being warmed up in a Aga oven, or an orphaned koala bear cuddling his teddy. This keeps up the link without having to feel anxious about whether I’m boring her with questions such as, “What did you get up to today?”

I loved my grandmother. I missed her after she died. She didn't do anything but be pleased to see me. She would hug me and have little treats in the cupboard. I make little goodie bags for my grandson. I put cheese and raisins and novelty lollies and chocolate. I always give him lots of cuddles and tell him he's my bestest boy. I hope so much he will remember me as I have bad health. Just taking the time to have play dates that you are doing will help that.

I tell my darling grandson that he's my favourite grandson. He's caught on now that he's my only grandson but he still likes to be told it. He's asleep now in 'his' bedroom.

I find my grandies love cooking, especially cakes. Can get a bit messy with a 4 year old but you'll be surprised how much she can do. The 11 year old may or may not want to do it, but if he does all you really need to do is supervise. They get a great sense of achievement making something everyone can share. Board games may work for them, especially memory games.