Being a good grandma/nanny

You sound lovely and caring. Repetition is the key to being remembered.

With the little one you can be the nanny that has the dolls tea parties, it will be your thing and in the future you can both bake for it and have outdoor picnics and special teas for the dolls "birthdays". Don't forget to take photos for a scrapbook.

Maybe start some sort of activity that will involve you going somewhere with the older one, swimming, nature walk, places of interest, difficult to say not knowing what he is into. Whatever it is take photos.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

You already are a truly loved and lovely granny. One of the things I have started to do now that my grandchildren are older is to write them letters - just short ones and include some sweets. My grandmother used to do that for all her grandchildren. She would sometimes include a sixpence wrapped in a piece of tissue paper. I have never forgotten that.

Such lovely advice here. I'd just add - take it easy, maybe just involve them in something you enjoy - bit of cooking, garden, even housework. If you bring them in at their level they will love it and learn.

Nanny Magic I don’t think you have anything whatsoever to worry about, you sound a lovely nannie. It’s the simple things that my little granddaughter says she misses about not seeing us. She FaceTimed the other day and said Nana you’re the best reader in the world and I miss you telling me stories. I read to her on FaceTime but it’s not the same is it? My daughter rang recently and said my granddaughter had told her she can’t wait to snuggle up on the sofa with Nana and watch a film and eat popcorn. I guess my point is you don’t have to do anything out of the ordinary with them, just your love and undivided attention is all they need.?

Many of the things my young GDs enjoy have been mentioned already, but can I mention singing and dancing? Both my GDs love that I sing nursery rhymes and songs, and do action songs like 'Ring-a-ring of roses' or dance along with them to their favourite tune.
My Mum sang many nursery rhymes to me and we sang traditional songs at school. My DDs now say they like how I seem to know all the words to the tunes their toys play.
I have nothing to suggest for the 11 year old boy- it sounds like you are doing better than me as all I get from my 11 year old GS on Facetime is a wave and "I'm alright"!

I agree, you sound like a lovely Grandma. I have only one new baby GS so have lots to learn, but I agree with lots of the suggestions here and think back to mine and my children’s childhoods and what they enjoyed. This includes helping with jobs, cooking, baking, crafts, dressing up, reading stories, simple gardening like sewing cress or sunflower seeds, singing songs and nursery rhymes and going out for nature walks, pointing out trees, plants and insects. Have fun and enjoy your time with them and it will show, they will love you and remember you for it.
As someone has already said in another post, I don’t remember my GPs ‘playing’ with me, but there was always something interesting to do visiting their houses, particularly my MGM who was a dressmaker and good cook. I remember spending lots of time sorting through her button box!
Have fun at your tea party, sounds brilliant!

I had two grandmothers who literally did absolutely nothing for me or with me. I have no memories of them and don’t really mind. However I am going to make sure my time with my own grandchildren is memorable because I will love them, laugh with them and make their lives richer. Everyone is right, just be yourself as you are clearly a lovely person.

Making a list of activities (with a little detail) we think good grannies do wouldn't be a bad idea.
For example PlayDoh was mentioned earlier. We have PlayDoh but frankly I never really know what to do with it. (And which sorts easily come off the carpet!)

How about making a memory box? Encourage the children to put the things in it that remind them of you and you can do the same. (photos, cards, jewellery, paintings, certificates, family tree, perfume, absolutely anything). Over the years it will give great pleasure to all of you and when your time comes the children will still have their memories.

Oh Fernhillnana what are your memories of your grandmothers?
My gran I stayed with taught me to knit, the one I used to visit with my dad taught me to use a sewing machine (both activities obviously of no use to OP!)

I have a bag of 30 small furry toys mostly from charity shops. They love it when I hide them around the house or garden for them to find. Low down for the little ones. Higher and trickier to find for the older ones. Over the years its been superheroes or dinosaurs I've hidden. If its their toys yiu MUST remember where you hid them. Finding a T.rex in the greenery was a bit hard!!

Just play with them, at hairdressers, shopkeeping, dominoes, draughts, sing and dance, read, play at school. Bake buns, talk about it, let them water the garden, help with the washing, set the table. Play guessing games, I Spy, draw and colour, when you watch a film, discuss it. The list is endless, tea parties are great especially if they can do the pouring with cold drinks.

I remember my paternal Grandma teaching me how to make pancakes and taking me and my cousins on trips to the local shopping centre, all the while holding hands and singing silly songs! When she would visit us at home, she would always take me on the bus to go to our local beach and we'd get ice-cream. I loved looking at her collection of coloured and differently shaped glass bottles too .. I was lucky enough to get one after she died.

I remember my maternal Granny would take me on walks to the local field with their dog and I would love meeting all her friends who had the cutest dogs I could fuss over. She used to have this tin filled with random and interesting buttons that I like looking through, she made me a few sock puppets using some of them and we would spend ages drawing and colouring. My Grandad also used to take me on big walks up the hill opposite their house.

I miss having grandparents ?

I think you sound like a lovely grandma. My 4 yo GD likes birthday parties for her dolls. I buy cake mixes with Peppa Pig or fairy decorations, plus the round biscuits with pastel colour icing, jelly, usually red and vanilla ice cream with sprinkle options. We dress the dolls and arrange a table or indoor picnic. We also spend time making cards and wrapping presents. The fairy cakes are quick and easy to make and quite small, so not too much sugar. The washing up can be messy when she helps. What ever you do, they will have fond memories of you.

nannymagic not read the whole thread but you sound like a lovely nanny.
I’m not imaginative either when it comes to arty crafty things & sometimes feel quite inadequate when I see things on Facebook that other grandparents have produced!
Just do what you can & don’t worry about what you can’t. Let your GC guide you - much depends on their personalities & their ages.
My GC (except for one who is only 1) don’t live near me so I don’t see them often.
But things we do that they seem to enjoy - baking together, doing Lego, reading books, playing board games, going swimming, playing tennis, going for picnics, sometimes having a bonfire in the garden. I’ve taught two GD’s and one GS to knit!
You will be as special to your GCs as they are to you.

You've thought of a dolly teaparty m, that's wonderful. Simple things like blowing and chasing bubbles, potting up a couple of bedding plants for her to check on when she visits, or if you have space, creating a little garden patch adding a few of the lovely garden stick windmills, toadstools etc available in garden centres. Of course a 4 year old usually enjoys baking. Loads of games eg magnetic fishing can be found in charity shops (once they open again). That you are trying to find activities would indicate you are already a kind and interested nanny. Enjoy!

You sound a lovely, thoughtful grandma. The tea party idea is great. Your granddaughter is the same age as one of mine was when I started baking with her. She's eleven and we still bake regularly together. Flapjacks are good. She loves them - easy to do, sweet, though they've got porridge oats in, so slightly healthy. While they're cooking you can do some drawing or cutting and sticking. For your grandson post a letter or a card with a picture he might like, an animal for example. I've written to a grandson and he was delighted to get something addressed to him and wouldn't let his mum read it! Post some money it needn't be much, or a few mini Easter eggs or a Lego figure (if it's his thing) now and then. Good luck.

So many fantastic ideas here ?
If you want to expand your horizons, and as you can no longer drive, I'd say look into your local bus and train options, especially when the weather gets a bit warmer.
For children who normally travel by car this can be a really exciting day out, and you don't need to go far. Maybe to the next town for a café lunch, or a picnic in a park, then home again. Your undivided attention and the feeling of it being a special treat will be more than enough ?

I have started writing to a little grand-nephew of four who is bored in lockdown.

I tell him about some of all the changes that I have seen since I was his age, with pictures found on the Internet for him to look at while his mummy reads the text.

An example: when I was four milk was delivered by the milkman who had a horse-drawn cart. The horse was called Dobbin. Another thing I am sure he found har d to understand is that I was nine before the first supermarket was opened in a town some miles away from us. So I told him about shopping at the grocer's and what we bought there, then going to the green-gtocer and so on.

Perhaps you could do something similar

4allweknow my granddaughter and my minded children all love gardening and we have planted Alpine strawberries in a big pot. They especially like this as they are allowed to pick the red ones by themselves ?

Could you invite her teddies and have a teddy bears picnic or to a simple treasure hunt x Don’t he so hard on yourself , you sound lovely snd you know what they say ? If you have love, you have everything and All you need is love ❤️ l

You sound so kind and nice——-I remember reading about a Welly throwing contest that could be fun.I periodically send my GC postcards as all kids love getting mail.I played dominoes with my Gran but my GC prefer to stand them on end in lines and then push them over——all children love dressing up,washing up the tea set with lots of bubbles,can you paint her nails,just have fun enjoy every minute.

I’ve a lot of grandchildren and the best thing you can give them is your time (when possible) but your undivided attention, is the most important. My proudest moment is when one of my granddaughters told me that she had to do a school project about who or what inspired her. She made me the subject of her inspiration. Gave lots of examples of things we have made together and her comments about advice and help I’d given her over the years. I only ever really filled in when her other grandparents were on holiday. She seen them virtually everyday yet I was the one that inspired her. Biggest compliment and proudest moment I’ve ever had from anyone

I don’t remember either of my grandmothers doing much with me as a child. My country wise grandfather spent wonderful time with me teaching me country skills.
One of the most fascinating times I have spent with my granddaughter aged 9 and grandson aged 6 was actually spent in a small old fashioned graveyard! We spent hours looking at all aspects of life in “the olden days” names and how they change in fashion. Diseases that no one gets any more. We used maths to work out how old people were when they died. We hunted the oldest and youngest occupant and why women died young and young men at war. The educational aspect to this outing was great and they were both fascinated.
So for me it’s about finding something that interests everyone. I think that these are the memories that will endure.