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Do you wonder how much time you have left?

(118 Posts)
Foxglove77 Fri 26-Mar-21 18:50:10

Without being morbid and in my late 50s I have been wondering how much time I may have left. 20 more Christmases? I know nothing is a given and I am grateful for the life I've had so far, but am just interested to know if this has crossed your mind and what your thoughts are?

grandmajet Sat 27-Mar-21 08:02:13

I just used to assume I’d go on for ages, healthy active lifestyle, good diet etc., thoroughly enjoying retirement with my husband. Now I know that won’t happen, but I really don’t want to be given an end date for the calendar, not even an estimated one.
I try to live for the day and see fun where I can. Mostly I manage to do this. I know everyone says it, but health is the most important thing, please enjoy good health while you can, those of you who have it.

Gagagran Sat 27-Mar-21 08:08:20

Both my parents were 93 when they died, 3 years apart, so I am expecting to reach, or even exceed that age. I am 77 now and have had a few health issues over the years but generally am coping with the aches and pains of bits of me wearing out.
DH's Mum died at 49 and his Dad at 76 so he is sure that he will go before me and his recent cancer diagnosis and surgery has convinced him of that even more. He is quite pragmatic about it and just wants to make sure that I am left provided for, so is doing what he can to ensure that.

We have been blessed with a lovely son and daughter and four exceptional grandchildren, now all in their teens with the eldest at university. It will be sad to leave them all when we die but that is the circle of life and there is nothing we can do to avoid it. I am grateful for the life I have had and hope to enjoy what's left of it. Every day is a bonus when you get to our ages.

Nell8 Sat 27-Mar-21 08:35:32

I try not to speculate about how long I've got. However, I do think about what will happen at the end of my life. I need to warn my loved ones that I don't want anyone coming to say their "last goodbyes"... it's too final. I want to feel I'll live on in their hearts. They can say "Au revoir, Mum" or "Have the kettle on ready when you're up there"!
I regularly remind my English family that I want them to put half my ashes in a jiffy bag and post me up north to be scattered on Scottish soil near my birth family. That's a very powerful feeling.

grannysyb Sat 27-Mar-21 08:35:42

I do wonder, I'm now older at 73 than my mother was when she died. My father made late seventies which was incredible given the amount of alcohol and cigarettes that he got through. I would love to see my grandchildren get through university and go out into the world. As the youngest is 14 I might do it. I worry more about DH who is nearly 83 with various health issues, want him to hang on as long as possible!

Sara1954 Sat 27-Mar-21 08:51:25

It’s inevitable I suppose, I tend to think about it at odd moments of joy, how many more years will I see the daffodils? Smell the lilac outside my kitchen window? Sit in the sun at the seaside?
I have six grandchildren, I love them all and I think they love me, but most of them would accept that’s what happens to grandparents and get on with it. But I have one, who has had a lot of upheaval in her life, and we’re very close, she knows grandpa and I are always there for her. So I really need to keep going till she doesn’t need me anymore.

Franbern Sat 27-Mar-21 09:16:59

I do wish I could have some idea as to how much longer I am going to live, in order to work out my finances better. I know - I am a total 'control Freak'.

I do find myself these days, when I hear of someone I knew having died, think of how old they were.

I will be 80 in few weeks time, so a couple of months after that I will have passed my Mums age on her death, have long since past that of my brother. Another four years to pass my Dad.

Recently I added a codicil to my will to arrange for a small sum of money to be given from my estate (sounds posh - but is really the sale of my flat), to each g.child when they reach the age of 25 yrs. So wrote in that the month and year for each of them and realised that there was very little chance of me seeing the young four get to that age.

I really do hope to see my four older g.children graduate -my parents did not have this as we tend (as a family) not to have children very young. So, hopefully, I will get through the next five years.

TBH, provided I can continue living totally independently, and keep my brain working I am fine. But would not wish to continue 'living' if this was not the case.

henetha Sat 27-Mar-21 09:22:15

Yes. Being 83, it does haunt me quite a lot as to how many more seasons I will see, how many more places I will visit, will I have any great-grandchildren (none yet, sadly).

Polarbear2 Sat 27-Mar-21 09:31:38

I do a bit but in maybe a different way. Four of my relatives have gone beyond 100. My mum is 99. Everyone says to me oh you’ll live a very long time then. It makes me really uncomfortable. I might not. I might not want to. Extreme old age doesn’t look like much fun. My OH talks about when he’s gone because of course I’ll live to 100. It’s a really weird feeling. I think my main concern is I don’t want to be alone and yet I don’t want to be a burden to my DC.

CafeAuLait Sat 27-Mar-21 09:40:26

I'm curious how long I'd have but would I really want to know if I could? I hope to still be exploring the mountains when I'm in my 70s.

Urmstongran Sat 27-Mar-21 09:46:48

It’s a strange thing, living, isn’t it? I want to stick around for a good few years yet if I can, but if someone offered me a pill that would ensure I’d live for another 50 years, would I take it?

I suppose in the end our quality of life is paramount to its enjoyment. I pass an old folk’s home sometimes and think of ‘god’s waiting rooms’ and it makes me sad. Not everyone in there has family to call and even better, pop them in a car and take them out occasionally.

Kaimoana Sat 27-Mar-21 09:52:35

Like some other posters here, I pack as much into every day as I possible can (not alwasy as much as I'd like) - but I've done that all my life.

I've had a good innings already and I'm not scared of death one bit. I'll go when my heart stops...meanwhile - get out of my way I have things to do grin

nadateturbe Sat 27-Mar-21 10:35:48

if someone offered me a pill that would ensure I’d live for another 50 years, would I take it?

Yes!

faringdon59 Sat 27-Mar-21 10:50:41

This is a most interesting post.
Foxglove77 has started her post by saying 'without being morbid' which immediately reminded me of my parents reaction to any queries I had regarding death as a child.
They wouldn't talk about making a will either as it was a morbid subject.
When I attended a funeral for the first time in my life at age 20 I was struck by the power of the words. About how man rises up like a flower and then is struck down.
The following year my uncle died at 48 of a sudden heart attack, so another funeral to attend and again the power of the words. I'm not religious as such but those words are actually saying, don't waste time, reassess your life today!
Another statement on this subject is the three score years and ten.
About a year ago I mentioned this saying in our office ( when they were having a conversation about population) and as most of my colleagues are in their 20's and 30's they looked at me like I'd grown another head!!

Lillie Sat 27-Mar-21 10:57:37

I'd like to see my DGC start school, go to university, get married, have their own children .... where do you stop?

3nanny6 Sat 27-Mar-21 11:43:01

I sometimes think about it and mainly try not to as it can be depressing. My neighbour died in mid January, he lived alone
his son has left all sorts of his belongings piled up outside both back and front and it is an eyesore. I have phoned the social housing to try to get the stuff moved and they have done nothing. How sad and undignified that this mans life belongings are left like this. It has prompted me to finish off the payments for my funeral so my adult children are not left with that burden on them

Kate1949 Sat 27-Mar-21 12:04:10

It always makes made sad to see someone's life thrown into a skip.

spottybook Sat 27-Mar-21 13:00:31

I think lockdown has given us all too much time for introspection in that we are able to sit and think without any distractions. I have certainly thought a great deal about being left on my own, my own death and not seeing my grandchildren grow up. Hopefully once we are out and about again these thoughts will diminish.

hulahoop Sat 27-Mar-21 14:22:47

I would love to see what my grandchildren turn out like but I don't think I will see them into adulthood ,we were late stating a family and so were my children .I do think about it especially after having cancer .

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sat 27-Mar-21 14:50:01

Sometimes I wonder. A friend is doing the 'Swedish Death Clean' which sounds terribly morbid and she's younger than me. This basically means that she's having a good clear out so that her children aren't faced with lots of possessions, craft materials, etc which must be dealt with when the time comes.
We mustn't worry too much about death, rather concentrate on enjoying life as best we can in the meantime.

Gossamerbeynon1945 Sat 27-Mar-21 14:53:24

I do think about this. My mother was so young when she died (39) and so was my dad (47). My maternal grandmother lied until she was 99.

I have made a will and have LPA for my husband who has had a stroke. He cannot speak at all, so life gets lonely.

I would love to die in my sleep, and have a DNR with my GP. I remember saying to my daughter, who is a nurse, that I hated getting old. She replied "well it's better than the alternative".

I am 75, 76 this year.

Gossamerbeynon1945 Sat 27-Mar-21 14:54:27

lived until she was 99

AGAA4 Sat 27-Mar-21 15:52:05

I think more about not being able to do the things I like doing - driving, reading, walking.

My husband died when he was 51 and has missed such a lot. Never got to see his GCs or our youngest daughter grow up.

I have had over 20 years more and just try to enjoy each day.

Billybob4491 Sat 27-Mar-21 16:14:01

No I never think about it, I am in God's hands.

Urmstongran Sat 27-Mar-21 17:16:22

It must indeed be a comfort if one is religious and believes our spirits go up to Heaven to re-unite with loved souls. Sadly I don’t. I’m a Humanist and so there’s a good and a sad way to look at life from my point of view.

The good way is that I believe this life is all we have. It really does focus my thoughts and nudge me to be as kind and sensitive with people as I can be. Like a leaf on a tree, we have a limited time on this earth.

Obviously the sad part is my belief that there is no ‘more’. We don’t meet up again, ever again. This is it. Which in turn, bring me back in a circle to being kind and loving whilst I’m here.

Gossamerbeynon1945 Sat 27-Mar-21 18:14:05

Urmstongran I understand what you are saying. I was brought up in a very Christian household (Welsh Baptists) - everyone believed in God. Now I am having huge doubts, as in why is my life like this, do I deserve it?