Do you wonder how much time you have left?

Covid has made me think about this, even to the fact that I have written a will, I feel that I should live for at least another 20 years to be as old as my parents.

My mother survived the war in London and in later years suffered diabetes among other illnesses and my father fought on different fronts in different armies and although they were heavy smokers and didn’t eat healthily, they reached nearly 90.

However nothing is guaranteed, I always try to leave the rooms tidy before going to bed now, just in case I fall ill and never have time to arrange them.

I started when I turned 62 and DH retired. It occurred to me that if I suddenly dropped dead, it wouldn't even make the local paper, it would be too common an occurrence! 10 years on and it is something I am always aware of. I tend to think when having to buy a new appliance 'will this see me out?' but with the built in obsolescence, maybe not!

Every time DH is unwell, it induces a worry that would not have been there 15 years ago.

Yes I do, frequently. I know worry is a completely useless emotion but unfortunately I believe it’s part of being human...

Our oldest granddaughter when aged 5 (now 13) and having been talked through the death of a relative, informed us that we were old and we would die and that she would be very upset. Then she looked us up and down and said "but I don't think you're going to die soon" which was a great comfort!

I do think about what I haven't done that I wish I had and now won't be able to. I also think about how (and whether) I will survive my DH's death if he goes before me, summed up by these words by Sir Henry Wotton:

"He first deceased. She for a little tried
To live without him, liked it not and died"

Lordy, now I'm feeling really depressed!

Elusivebutterfly
I gave up smoking in my late twenties, the doctor told me on my last visit, that I could now consider myself a non smoker.

That’s it Redhead you also worry about your DH being on his own or yourself without him. Our DC and DGC while missing us, they’ll get on with it.

Last year our DGD now aged 8 said to us”It must be horrible to be old”. When I asked why she thought that she replied “Well you never know when you’re going to die”. Do children say what we really think but don’t like to admit?

I have casually thought about in the past but this last year more so. My dad was ill for years thrombosis and diabetes he had massive stroke at 66 and died. My mum was 94 but had dementia and died with lung cancer. They both suffered I want to go out like a light. I worry about my husband being on his own and my DC missing me but I know they will be preoccupied with their lovely families.

It is, isn't it Lucca!

Only hope when my number’s up I go peacefully in my sleep not aware that I’ve gone.

I intend to go sitting on a lovely terrace, glass of wine in hand, gazing at the ocean.
Hope I manage to put the wine glass down first.

I think about it a lot. What a horrible thread.

I've thought about it since DH died although there's really no comparison as he'd been ill with cancer for nine years. Apart from arthritis I feel pretty fit although I must make an effort to get more active once we're out of lockdown. Most of my family were long lived so fingers crossed ..........

Occasionally but I don’t dwell on it. Then you hear about people you know, older than you and you think, well they are old, then people your age or even younger, and you realise there is no point in speculating how many years we have left. Just live each day to the full and enjoy!

At 71, Orlin and I are the babies in our crowd so, as the rest are pretty fit, we do not really think about it. That is until I read this thread.
One day at a time I suppose, what will be will be.
Only hope when my number’s up I go peacefully in my sleep not aware that I’ve gone.
Marydoll ?

Yes. I wish I’d never smoked. And when I did smoke and felt stressed about smoking I used to light a cigarette! They do say that as soon as you stop your body starts to heal itself though.

Average life expectancy in the UK for those over 60 is late 80s so hopefully most of us here have quite a while yet.
I was a smoker for many years so do think this could still have an effect for me.

It’s why I fall asleep each night watching the tv. If I just lie there I start thinking about things. My family are a bit prone to this fear of death thing that kicks in at nighttime. Looking forward to a holiday was something to keep my mind occupied as well.

I think about it.
I expected to live a very long life - my Dad was 97 and my Mum, last week, at 100, until I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
My consultant though wants me to live another 20 years.

I think about it quite a bit.
My grand parents on both sides died at 60 or just before and so did both of my parents. My brother died 2 years ago at 60 my younger brother had a heart attack last year at 56. I am 59 this year and have anticipated around 60. But it won’t stop me enjoying things while I can.

I do think about this more than I used to. The youngest sibling in our family died 2 years ago at only 60 and I think that as well as the grief, this gave the rest of us a terrible shock. I think deep down we thought the eldest would go first ...not logical I know as who can say who'll remain healthy the longest but it has certainly made us all more aware of our mortality.

My dad died at aged 59 so at 69 I have outlived him by a decade. DM is still going strong at 90. I vie between being amazed I am still here and going to the opposite extreme of thinking I will make really old bones like dm.

As others have said we have to make the most of everyday and this has certainly been a challenge in lockdown.

Yes I do. I try not to without much success. I do envy those with a strong faith. And I try to be happy and love my husband and children as much as possible.

All the time and today I had another reminder when a friend rang and told me a friend of hers died yesterday.
I only met him and his wife twice but my friend talked about them regularly, they were in another “compartment” of their lives.
We talked about our own husbands and mutual friends ,all now gone.
I have been depressed all day.
It is now 21 years since I had BC, I asked the oncologist to be honest with me and he dismissed my questions with a laugh, saying, you won’t see 80.
That must have seemed so far distant as to stop me even thinking about it.
I have passed that by 3 and a half years, it still plays on my mind.
So yes, I do wonder how long I have left, some days, like today, more than others.

I have health anxiety and yes, if I have unexplained symptoms I feel anxious. My father died from cancer at 47y and my mother at 86y three years ago. I’m bang in the middle of their ages right now.

Other times I look at my sweet grandchildren and think ‘how many more years with them? Will I see them leave school?’

I think all of us think about it to some extent. If I dwell on it, it either seems morbid or upsets me. So I pause, give it thought for a moment or two and continue on with thanks for all I have. What else can we do?

It does cross my mind now and then

I am sure I read somewhere that only 4% of people aren't aware of their impending death which spooked me a bit.

I'm a bit head in the sand and would just like to pop off without any suffering.

Now and again when I look at my bank balance

I've lived beyond dad's 3 score and ten as he used to say, he did actually die at 70. Mum was 67 and never really picked up after dad went.

I have not read other replays but when my husband died after fourteen years of heart failure but totally unexpectedly on the day I spent two years thinking that I wold die very soon.

That was twenty years ago and I'm still here loving life , family ,and friends.

At first I didn't even think there was any point in doing any jobs in the house or garden but came to realise that I had to live my life in comfort and not in the past waiting to die

It was a very difficult time because I couldn't tell anyone how I felt and intrude on their grief