Code of cooking when having guests.

Callistemon

^Expecting someone who doesn't eat meat to prepare it for you is also completely unreasonable^

I'd be quite happy if my friend offered me just vegetarian food and do eat some of what she prepares but she cooks meat for her husband and son so offers both meat, fish and vegetarian dishes, so there is a choice.

But that’s one example - my DN’s partner isn’t vegetarian but she never cooks meat for him and he doesn’t expect her to. If a vegetarian is happy to cook meat, fine, but that doesn’t mean it’s a choice for everyone does it? It really isn’t always a choice and we shouldn’t expect it to be.

I knew you'd find something to post in answer to mine
I just knew it

???

I have been a vegetarian for decades and would now find it repellant to cook meat - I do not try to pursuade my omnivore friends to give up meat, just decline to cook it. Try to imagine cooking and eating anything you find repellant - maybe a dog or a rat or horsemeat - and you will get a little idea of what it feels like to be a vegetarian. I cook many vegetarian dishes for friends and they seem to enjoy them! When I go to someone's house for a meal I will say I am a vegetarian and happy to eat the vegetables and bring something to add for myself , but most people say they are fine to give me something vegetarian.

A few years ago I stayed with some friends who were Vegan. They made it their business to ensure that I still had non-vegan foods. I did protest and stated that it was rather like going to another country and asking for fish and chips. However, they said that a lot of vegan foods take a good to get used to. Also, I cannot eat anything very spicey. They told me that none of their adult children were vegans, so they were quite used to having different meals being prepared at the same time.

When they came to me, I went to a lot of trouble to ensure that I provided them with good vegan meals, whilst - at the same time cooking as normal for myself and other guests.

suziewoozie I did not “expect” my veggie friend to serve me meat, my point was everyone here is advocating cooking meals to suit everyones different taste but the very people who require this are usually not willing to reciprocate. I really dont like the smell of cooking fish it makes me slightly nauseous but I will do it when my cousin comes as her daughter is pescatarian. When we go to her house we get fish and I eat it, I dont like it much but I eat it.
My point is i guess, just because I have certain likes and dislikes I do not expect to be catered to.

I agree with Doodledog re ways of cooking for a vegetarian and non vegetarian making virtually the same dish with adjustments .
I started a chilli bean casserole making sure all ingredients began as vegetables tomatoes etc were included as a base to start with making double quantity .Then halved the mixture added the meat and continued to cook the meaty one in a second separate dish the vegetarian one in another . Everyone had nearly the same we served a salad and rice.Think they were happy we enjoyed their company and chat without the stress of making two different dishes.
A curry is a good option that way too vegetables in one prawns in the second then say lamb in the third .Having a Buffet is a good idea as some previous posters have suggested.
We always check with everyone s likes dislikes allergies etc gives us ideas too.
There’s so many tasty choices out there !

As a vegetarian I do not expect people to pander to me. It is my choice not theirs. However, most people seem happy to provide something suitable such as an individual veggie quiche or a veggie burger, but if not I am always happy just to eat the vegetables. It won't kill me for one meal! I enjoy the company more than the food. If I am the cook I prefer to offer vegetarian food - it won't kill them for one meal either! Having said that I do cook meat for my family occasionally.

I tell people they are not to make any extra fuss for me because I am vegetarian. One friend is famous for providing about eight different vegetable choices with each meal - the rest have whatever meat or poultry she is cooking to accompany it. Other friends have kindly cooked a veggie ready meal item, most of which need to be in the oven for half an hour. When I'm entertaining we always have meat/poultry and a veggie option, and it's surprising how many people want to try it, or opt for the veggie dish and are agreeably surprised how tasty they are.

Callistemon

I knew you'd find something to post in answer to mine
I just knew it

???

What on earth is your post about? I responded to a post of yours? I rather thought that was what happened on a forum ????☹️

I enjoy cooking for my friends some of whom are vegetarian. Unless it was a buffet I would never serve a separate dish for veggies. If vegetarians are present I cook a meat free meal for everyone. As others have said there are so many wonderful dishes, curries, pastas, pies, etc. I don't like to single anyone out so if we all sit together we all eat together.

If ever I've done buffet type meal, I have to label the vegetarian food 'for vegetarians' because meat eaters scoff it down and then there's none left for the vegetarians I've catered for

I think the difference with all of this is.... (most) meat eaters eat meat and vegetables. Vegetarians don't eat meat so they have less to choose from.
So when I go to a vegetarians house for a meal, please serve me something yummy with vegetables, herbs, spices, whatever. I'll eat anything like that.
Have to say though, I'm not keen on meat substitutes of any sort or anything that is pretending to be what it's not!

Is it just me or has CV put anyone else off buffets for life - that and blowing out candles on birthday cakes?

If having friends round for a meal is for friendship why all the fuss.
Why are meat eaters expected to eat vegetarian food in a vegetarian house and provide it in theirs is that not discrimination in its self, if it is not reciprocated with meat in a vegetarian household? Our family buy the appropriate food from M&S.
I buy vegetarian food for vegetarians they buy food with meat for us.

Many years ago when this kind of debate was just taking off a friend who had become vegetarian decided to have a barbeque, all done very precisely with written invites, on the bottom she had written bring your own dead animal. Yet every Sunday I know she cooked a full Sunday lunch with meat for her husband and family.
Why the fuss buying books and learning new recipes at our stage in life. Each to their own dietary rules and if your friends don't match yours tell them you will be buying something for them and they can choose to attend or not.

Don’t invite those with such strict preferences, or prepare a hot and cold buffet which everyone can enjoy x

Can I just add that there is nothing more uninspiring than "just the vegetables" when others are eating meat? Especially if boiled. Yuk. No protein, no flavour and often little texture.

I will put my views on here as I’m a vegan.
Most meat eaters eat vegan foods, veg, pasta, rice etc.. However vegans or vegetarians won’t eat meat, fish, dairy.
When I cook for friends or family I always cook vegan and they enjoy the meals I cook. Most say that it’s a chance to try different dishes that they wouldn’t have a clue about.

However I also know how difficult it can be for meat eaters to know what to cook for me when I eat at theirs. They always ask me and I give them ideas. Sometimes they will try a vegan dish and eat it as well or they cook a vegan dish and just add a bit of fish or meat on the side.

I always take a vegan dessert with me as many people have no idea what we can eat for desserts. Trust me when I say that so many desserts are vegan or can be modified to be dairy free.

Veggie curries, vegan chillie and roasts are so easy to make vegan. Enjoy experiencing. x

I can eat a vegetarian meal happily, it is only one meal, but I (used to) stay with a sometimes vegetarian friend some distance away, and several days of very bland vegetarian meals were really hard. She comes in and out of vegetarianism, depending on what her grown -up, long-departed- from- family- home sons favour. When she stays with me she happily eats chicken and fish.

Good advice Laura. It’s all about showing you care enough. Friends are precious, indulging them is a form of loving them. No big deal adding more veggies to one’s menu. Now would you eat a big juicy steak in front of a vegetarian/vegan. I couldn’t. Plenty of opportunity to eat one later.

agree with BlueBelle and another poster; what's wrong with adding chilli sauce. and to call her out on it, at the table, in front of others, is incomprehensibly discourteous to my mind.

as for those who choose to eat meat, well they just have to find what they can eat at other's house, and leave the rest. simples.

Make enough dishes so that everyone can help themselves to whatever they fancy. I eat everything yet my best friend is vegetarian and I love what she makes for me when I visit.

I think being a meat eater eating vegetarian occasionally is completely different to a vegetarian eating meat occasionally.

So although it means that a meat eater has to eat vegetarian on a visit I think this is appropriate. (maybe you haver been giv4en rather boring/unimaginative vege dishes?)

Equally it is not difficult or time consuming to produce a vegetarian/vegan offering for a guest!

Some quick recipes:

Large portobello mushroom:

Remove stalk and scrape out brown stuff into a bowl. Chop stalk finely. Add finely chopped onion.
- Vegetarian: Stir in garlic and herb flavoured cream cheese. Use to stuff mushroom head. Put on foil lined dish, spray of oil and a little water in dish. Bake 25 minutes, turning half way through

Vegan: - the same but use a vegan cream cheese or vegan pesto - available in all major supermarkets

Same mixture can be use for stuffing red pepper halves, bake 30 minutes

Also using the microwaveable packets of grains, mixed with herbs, onion, any chopped vegs like courgette and leeks can also be used for stuffing in the same way. Or stir cream cheese through the grains

All these make a great alternative to meat if doing a roast etc ....and the vegan/vege guest can have the vegetables as normal. And won't need gravy

I'd eat out, I can't be faffed with cooking for all different diets.

Having said that, as a vegetarian I will produce a meat/fish dish for my guests as appropriate as well as vegetarian/vegan options, depending on what I am cooking

Do most meat-eaters eat meat at every single meal? We don't. Can't you all have a mac cheese or a meat-free pizza or something?

hugshelp this is what puzzles me as well. Supper tonight is mushroom soup and a bread roll. We had cheese and tomato risotto for lunch. I am not vegetarian. We had lamb chops on Saturday and turkey on Sunday

Reading Amandajs44 post I am amazed that so many people consider catering for vegetarians and vegans so difficult. They must have a very limited diet or limited imagination not to be able to produce vegan or vegetarian dishes without problems.

Often the only difference between the two is swapping butter for a plant based spread, as in fruit crumble or swap beef suet for vegetarian suet, cheese for a vegan substitute etc etc.