Code of cooking when having guests.

I've never had a problem. Not eaten meat for years, but do eat fish.
I usually say if asked; 'Just do the same as everyone else I'm happy with just the veg'. My friends are used to me now.
In our family unit half were meat eaters half not. It was never a problem.
DD nearly failed her French GCSE because conversation turned to food & she said she didn't eat meat & her favourite meal was Sunday lunch!
SiL is a big meat eater. Usually do cooked meaty breakfast for him, DD & I have the same with our the meat ? egg, mushrooms, tomatoes etc.
Lunch, A tasty soup, macaroni cheese & a large varied salad, charcuterie plate, interesting dessert.
Don't do a roast these days but hopefully the occasion outweighs the lack of meat.
They all keep coming back so must be doing something right.

Why all the fuss about vegan or vegetarian food. My Jewish friends would never make such a fuss and their laws are far older. They don't ask me to have two sinks put in my kitchen or keep the dairy food separate. If asked for supper they usually ask what you are planning or get told in advance then they choose whether to attend or not. No offence on either side.
If we wanted to be initiated into vegetarian food we would cook it. No one is going to make me feel guilty about liking my steak or pork and you don't win people over by some of the comments on this forum.
This should be a discussion not a political platform. If you look carefully you can see that some set out to get others. How pathetic of "mature " grandmothers. I only joined a few months ago and I am really disappointed at some of the bigoted attitudes people display it is playground stuff not helpful at all.

Anyone who has read any of my responses to other topics will know I HATE cooking and I definitely don't do dinner parties. When family or friends visit the house rule for meals is 'Take it or leave it'. If there's something on their plate they don't like they don't have to eat it. It's how I brought up my kids and they're not fussy eaters. One of our DILs doesn't eat red meat so if she's eating with us I cook chicken. I really couldn't be bothered catering for 'dietary preferences'.

If there's something on their plate they don't like they don't have to eat it

It’s interesting how attitudes to food have changed. This isn’t a criticism of you Happy, just an observation. But only a generation or two back, people did have to eat what they were given or they starved.

I never made my DC eat things they didn’t like, but the mother of a friend of mine had a mantra ‘you don’t have to like it, you just have to eat it!’
I’m sometimes tempted to repeat that to certain small people

Code of cooking when having guests

There is no code.

Cook what you know your guests will enjoy, offer a choice - when you are allowed to meet indoors again.

Janesworth: so true - I used to say; 'it doesn't have to be your favourite food'.
Had a friend whose young daughter would only eat pink food! It's all very well giving children choices but ...

Yammy, not sure i understood you correctly; surely you would not invite jewish people if you were serving pork/shellfish.

I think I would go with, join us but bring your own food.

Teacheranne

Am I unusual in that I cannot remember when I last cooked for or went to a dinner party? I cook meals for my family when they visit but tend to go to restaurants with friends. I find the shopping, setting the table, preparation of food, cooking, clearing up washing up and putting things away too much fuss!

Entirely agree. Life is to short to cook for dinner parties. I never do now unless I just cannot avoid it.

1. Did OP return ?

2.*Yammy*I can’t see anything on this thread which makes you think this : “ If you look carefully you can see that some set out to get others. How pathetic of "mature " grandmothers. I only joined a few months ago and I am really disappointed at some of the bigoted attitudes people display it is playground stuff not helpful at all.” Total overreaction.

Why not just all go out for dinner. It doesn't have to be anywhere expensive. It avoids the mine field and resentment.

Teacheranne

I agree wholeheartedly!!

To those who mentioned pasta shells upthread this is truly one of my favourite meals. I do Gennaro Contaldo’s Baked Pasta Shells Filled With Cheese quite often. I live spiced gentility dishes too. We eat vegetarian food about 3 times a week, all home cooked and meat or fish the other 4 days. My late mother was vegetarian and my sister has coeliacs but I don’t have problems catering for both.

No idea where Gentility came from. I meant spiced lentils.

glammagran

No idea where Gentility came from. I meant spiced lentils.

This must be one of the best auto corrects ever - surrreal. Thank you ??

I am mostly vegetarian and my husband is strictly vegetarian. We both cook meat for people who eat meat but quite often we will have Asian vegetarian food, which most of our friends really enjoy. If we have a roast, we will have a good selection of vegetables, a home made onion sauce or maybe cauliflower cheese, and Yorkshires, with meat gravy or vegetarian gravy.

If someone is a staunch vegetarian who does not wish to buy and cook meat I think it would be unreasonable to expect him/her to do so.

I imagine it's fairly easily solved in the case of people who object to hosts serving up exclusively vegetarian food or to hosts not serving up exclusively vegetarian food - don't accept the invitation.

Buy a vegetarian ready meal, invite your veggie and meat friends, and enjoy good company.. that’s all that matters, not what they eat, what they wear.... just that they’re there ?

Vegetarian is relatively easy - even more so if they are pescatarian (eat fish and seafood). Vegan is an absolute minefield and I would not be making dinner for anyone who is this strict about food in my home - we would go out to eat instead or get takeaway. We have a vegan friend who is incredibly fussy about what he eats - we do not entertain each other for dinner as it would just be too awkward. If we want to eat together we will order an Indian takeaway where we can all have what we want.

Personally, as someone who is allergic to or intolerant of the majority of veggies, pulses, herbs and spices, also having had gastric surgery, my diet is primarily meat/protein.

Fortunately, among my friends and family there are no vegetarians or vegans, so this problem doesn't crop up for us.

If I'm entertaining, I will cook some veggies so that others can have a balanced meal but I would never cook a specific vegetarian or vegan meal.

Because of my allergies/intolerances, if I go anywhere and there is a possibility of food being served, I will always decline the food if I can't be 100% certain that it's OK for me or (more often than not) I will take something with me that I know is acceptable.

On this basis, I don't see why anyone should have to change what they would normally eat just to accommodate someone else, just say to your potential guests that xyz is served in your home and that they are welcome to join you in a meal but if they want something else they should cater for themselves or decline the invitation!

I'm what used to be called a strict vegetarian, i.e. a veggie that doesn't eat meat, fish or eggs, but does eat dairy. I've been veggie for almost 40 years now.

My reasons for being a vegetarian are simple, I'm protein intolerant. Even using the same utensils on my food that have been used on meat, fish or eggs and not properly cleaned will land me in not only a world of pain, but also quite possibly a&e. I'm lucky that I can just about tolerate dairy, but even then I have to limit it.

My friends know this, and accommodate it in the same way as I accommodate my diabetic friends needs and my coeliac friends needs.

40 years ago veggie food was so boring, but thankfully the world has moved on. There are now plenty of veggie recipes that most dietary requirements can enjoy.

I wouldn't invite the vegetarian around, I can't be bothered with all these faddy diets. Just say you don't cook vegetarian meals. Or make them something vegetarian that won't be very nice so they don't come again, you can always say your not into vegetarian cooking.

I guess you try to make your guests welcome and want for them to enjoy their meal.
This sometimes falls down if individuals don’t enjoy vegetarian meals and have been invited by a vegetarian. I struggle as I eat gluten free and this doesn’t combine well with vegetarian cuisine as most meals don’t tick both boxes.

Ooh! Horses for courses! - Starters or main anyone??

Many years ago my friend's DM was in a tis because her son was bringing his new girlfriend to Sunday Lunch; "She's got that disease" says DM - "She's a vegeitarian" ???

Oops extra letter crept in there

Blossoming

CafeAuLait

Blossoming

As they are guests I would do my best to make them feel welcome and comfortable, including serving food they would enjoy. I’m not veggie but we don’t eat meat with every meal.

What if making them comfortable means not serving meat and expecting everyone else to only eat vegan around them? As in my post above. Curious what you might think about that.

Why the aggression? As I said, I would do my best to make them feel welcome and comfortable. Otherwise, why invite them when you clearly don’t want them in your home.

There is no aggression. I am actually vegan by choice most of the time. If I am out and there is a vegan or vegetarian option, I usually will choose that one. I am used to cooking multiple meals every day for members of my family who don't make the same choices, have allergies or have sensory issues with many of the vegan options. I tried it with one of my kids who vomited all over the table because of the texture. My husband will eat what he can but hates it.

When I go to someone's house who is vegan, I do not expect them to cater to me with animal products. I expect anything in their house will be 100% vegan and don't think it's reasonable for anyone to expect them to serve animal products in their home. I fully understand that being against their beliefs and don't expect them to compromise on such an important issue to them. I deal with those members of my family who can't handle it by feeding them beforehand so they aren't hungry when they can only pick at a few things.

I do think it is wrong, when they come to my home and I am running a full vegan menu to cater to them, to make an issue that I have one dish on the side that might contain animal products (even if it's vegetarian rather than vegan, so has cheese). I am, in fact, catering to them first and doing a side extra for those who can't handle their preferences, who live in that home they are visiting.

So I asked them if they would like to do an afternoon tea instead. They wouldn't come because my husband has milk in his hot drinks. I'm not going to tell him not to. This applies to eating out as well. They will not have anything not vegan on the table.

In the end, I decided it was just too hard and too one sided. I know I'm not the only one who made that decision too. I think I was very accommodating.