Friends when it suits them

Yep block her email and texts and you can also block her on your phone. I have had a couple of women like this and you have to be firm.

This happened to me. We had a couple come into our lives. They invited us for drinks and were perfectly lovely. We invited them for dinner, we had a lovely time. Another drink in their garden under Covid restrictions and I thought ‘we really have found ourselves good friends.’ Then nothing. Suddenly, it dawned on me that a planning issue they were working against had been resolved and they no longer needed the support of my husband or me. We had some ‘inside information’ that they needed but once they had it our time was done. You live and learn.

No need to be gentle with people like this. A simple, "No, I can't meet/talk with you, " is enough.

Silly question - how do you block a number?
Second silly question 2 - if she tries to call what will she hear on the phone? Will she know she's been blocked?

You are being too submissive. Just delete everything you have about her and forget her. She is obviously one of life's scroungers.

What a awful woman, I’d tell her straight, I won’t be meeting her again as she’s a user, I’ve never heard anything like it,

I agree with Aggie , why bother in being polite. She is no friend she is a user and , sorry , but I’d be blunt and tell her that to her face ...please or offend , she is not worth bothering with .
I had met what I thought was a nice friend a year ago , only to recently find that she has now made a new friend , which I’m fine with that , but, as I can’t walk very far because of disabilities and she can walk for miles , this new friend can walk for miles same as her , so when we had arranged to meet up last week as we usually do ( outside , covid rules apply ) , she introduced me to the ‘ new ‘ friend , then 20 mins later left me to go off walking with her new friend with hardly a backward glance . So much for her being a ‘ friend ‘ .

One thing for certain here she is no friend.

I love “Cheeky Pluckers” (and Pluckery) and shall adopt it at once! They exist everywhere, sadly, but we are often too polite or just too nice to give them the direct treatment they deserve. Old age has definitely made me stronger in that respect!

ExD

Silly question - how do you block a number?
Second silly question 2 - if she tries to call what will she hear on the phone? Will she know she's been blocked?

Go into your call log on your mobile , press on the number you want to block then a list will come up asking you what you want to do , it will say ‘ block number ‘ , just press that and it will be blocked. You can always unblock after if you need to .
When that person phones up then it will not go through and won’t give ringing sound , then one would , or should , assume they have been blocked . Hope this helps .

I have some people who call me for similar reasons. So I say "What do you want?" They try to laugh it off - so I ask what they need, and direct them to people who will charge them, because, you know I am busy. Yes, I do a lot of voluntary and / or free work... but only for whom I want to.

I have a neighbour who will only speak when she feels she has to. She has stated that she has decided to become a recluse and wants to move. Maybe if she went I would get back the things that she has "borrowed". I have no time for people like that, life is for living, not pussyfooting around people.

So sorry that many of you have encountered similar users. Thank you all for your comments.

I agree about invoicing her...next time your daughter speaks to her, even for 5 minutes, she should send her an invoice for her time. I bet you never hear from this woman again!

Both you and your daughter should just block her number. She's using you and your daughter and enough is enough. False friend.

I had a 'good friend' years ago who dropped us when we wouldn't join their pyramid selling scheme. This was such an upsetting period as I really thought we were close over a number of years. I realise looking back that she used me in a number of other ways too, but I was too naive to realise at the time.

Ditch her don’t answer the phone when you see her number. And tell your daughter to do the same she’s a user!

I was used many years ago. We were just married. A woman I hardly knew befriended me because her husband was working abroad. She came round every night to wait for him to call her on our phone. She didn't have a phone in her house. This went on for a year. I didn't mind but when she decided to join her husband she didn't tell me or say goodbye. I felt very hurt and used. Your "friend" is of the same ilk. Just stop having anything to do with her. She'll get the message.

Some people see friends as a support group, some as a resources group. Not all that different, when you come down to it!
Anyway, don't let it get to you. Take tea with whom you like. Be 'too busy' for those you don't like. Don't worry about your daughter. She can cope.

She’s not a friend and I wouldn’t call her that.
I’m very lucky I know but I have real friends.
You can do without her. Treasure the real friends you have x

She’s proved she’s not a nice person to know if 5 others have fallen out with her.

You don’t need her, so just be unavailable.

there do seem to be a lot of takers about, I just don't know how they can be so brazen about it! I would feel embarrassed

You have definitely been used. When the "friend does make contact again just be blunt and tell her you are surprised as she seems to only be interested in what your DD can offer and you feel there isn't really anything of a friendship between you two. There will always be those who use people for their own ends, unfortunately you have encountered one.

I really think you gave too much information too soon. Was their a need to tell her what your daughter did. If you hadn't told her she wouldn't have asked for her help. Making friends on line you have to be very careful, some do it for personal purpose or gain. Be careful. Meet before giving too much information about you and your family and friends etc. Just get rid. Karen

Definitely get your daughter to block her so that she can't call your daughter for advice (although your daughter does seem to have been able to deal with it).
It certainly doesn't sound as though she is someone you want to keep in touch with even although you enjoyed her company at first. You could just block her or not answer her calls. Or you could send a message saying something along the lines of " This past year has given us all cause to review how we spend our time, and I've decided I'm only able to keep in touch with a small number of close/long-term friends now, along with possibly taking up some new hobbies, so I'm keeping the rest of my time clear to relax and look after my physical and mental wellbeing. Hope you're ok. Look after yourself too." Whatever works for you and you're comfortable saying and isn't basically untruthful.
She may not be fully aware of what she's doing, but there is definitely a degree of deliberateness in it.
Unfortunately, people like this often end up without real friends and it probably wouldn't take much for them to start thinking about others and find how much better true friendships which offer mutual support can be.
There should be groups and online forums where she can get advice freely or cheaply (or she'll just need to pay for it if necessary).
I have a friend who is quite needy and has a lot going on in her life and will often phone me for reassurance etc, but she does also genuinely care about me and what's going on in my family as well - that's a different situation to the one you've described.
Good luck.