Friends when it suits them

I had a similar problem. She is certainly not a friend. Just be busy and drop her. Your daughter is s [professional and can see through her. Tell you daughter this woman is no longer a friend so she knows not to give free advice - what a cheek.

100% agree that you and your daughter should block her. From your description, it is obvious that she has never been a friend but a scrounger. All the best.

Mmm.
I'm afraid I wouldn't have given my daughter's telephone number in the first place- I find that a bit strange. I am a qualified accountant retired now and I learned very quickly at parents evenings and other such gatherings of people you don't really know, to say I was a housewife. The reason I did this was that as soon as someone (particularly men) knew what I did they would engineer a private word so they could get free tax advice. Its one thing to help a real friend but another to spend your social time sorting out others problems, unless you intend to do it by volunteering.

I wouldn't say she's a friend. Would she help you out if needed?

I would literally say what you’ve said here. She’s not your friend at all, she just uses people and you’re not interested.....bye!

I have had a number of " friends" like this and it has made me cautious.

In the end it is better to have a handful of friends you can trust and cast people like this woman to the wind.

Lollin- yes i was intrigued too? (if my dd is still on mumsnet- ill ask her? but to OP, yes block her but first id tell her a few home truths!- about her being a user, not a friend.

Thanks welbeck, crossed posts i think?

BLOCK HER. Had this situation once and ended up just telling the lady the truth, that she was a user. Not worth your time or energy worrying about her. Get rid.

I think the time for politeness has passed, as soon and you know it’s her, cut her off and block her number if possible. X

Another thing they say on mumsnet is
“The word no is a complete sentence!”
I hope you find the courage to use it as that overbearing woman needs to be sent off with her tail between her legs!

As everyone here has mostly said..Drop her like a ton of bricks. I had a 'Friend' once who would meet up and then drop me when it suited her, we went a long time and then she contacted me out of the blue and wanted to meet, she treated me to coffee and then the truth came out, her son had moved into a new house and would my husband do the work cheaply for him. After some years of this from various people, as my husband was a 'Useful' man to know, I was fed up of being used so I dropped anyone who wanted anything done for next to nothing. Users one and all, don't need them in our lives.

JustMe

That's awful!

If she asks to meet or have 'chats' with you... I would just pre-empt it and say in response to her 'My daughter is very busy and can't respond to anything you want'

Some people have got such a cheek and with that sort, you need to spell it out.

I like this as it lets her know that the OP knows exactly what "game" she is playing!!

Tell her you're busy.
or
Tell her honestly you're not sure you are suited as friends.
or
Block her
or
Contact her with a list of favours you'd like doing.

ExD

Silly question - how do you block a number?
Second silly question 2 - if she tries to call what will she hear on the phone? Will she know she's been blocked?

Answer to Q2 - once blocked, when she next tries to ring you she will get an automated response saying ‘Sorry, your call cannot be connected’

If she’s been blocked by others before you she will realise that this is what you have done

If she rings you could say 'I'm spending time with another friend and my daughter's too busy to give free advice'. Just quote back to her what she said to you and ring off.
Whatever you do, don't give her the time of day.

My husband never says what he did before he retired. It’s just asking for trouble and a avalanche of wheedling to get free advice.

Thank you for your lovely comment.

I really don’t see why you have to be polite about this, she’s using you and she’s not very subtle about it. Block her, tell your daughter to block her and if she contacts you tell her you’d rather not continue the ‘friendship’ as she’s the only one benefiting from it.

My daughter is a business woman, and I thought this person genuinely was a paying client.

@ExD. On a mobile phone it’s usually pretty standard - go to the settings menu and there should be an option to block the number you enter. On a landline, most digital phones with a menu have this function - sometimes called blacklist. Again, go to the settings menu and you should be able to do it from there. You also used to be able to get your phone provider to block numbers where there were nuisance calls. The caller gets a message saying that the person you are calling is no longer taking calls from you. Short and to the point.

Is the term Wendied? Someone who makes friends to take yours or obtain something from you, then you’re of no use. Without all the details it happened to me, I found it quite traumatic and backed out, I hate confrontation, but am wary now.

I would like to think I would say I was annoyed she had abused my daughter's initial good nature and had been contacting her to get advice when my daughter had already indicated she was busy. I would therefore not wish to continue this acquaintance. In reality, as I'm a bit of a coward, I'd probably just block her number and hope for the best that I didn't see her again.

Years ago the daughter of a friend of our asked us round for an evening meal. We were pleasantly surprised and accepted. The reason for the invite became clear after the meal. She had just started selling some American cleaning products - I think the company is/was called Amway - and, from my recollection, wanted us either to buy some of the products or to become agents.

Fortunately, that has been my only experience of insincere offers of hospitality or friendship.

Givers, and takers - people seem to be one or the other. People can be so clever when they are 'takers' - full of enthusiasm for friendship with you and then, as you have sadly found, they are using you to get something free. This person won't have any real friends, and I would certainly block her number. If she sees you face to face on any occasion, smile and say that neither you nor your daughter have time to give free advice - and walk away.

Sometimes we can go through a kind of grieving process when we realise we need to let go of unhealthy relationships

Nature abhors a vacuum and maybe there are more,positive friendships around the corner
Maybe this has been a valuable lesson in where you invest1your emotional energy-nothing is wasted it can be hard not to keep trying to resolve an unsatisfactory situation and walk away'letting go'
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

Thanks for sharing -an interesting t