Friend talks about money

If you change the subject often enough, she'll get the message. I'm guessing that her family were hard up when she was growing up, so her financial success is now very important to her. It's a pity you find it annoying. Perhaps she has nothing else to chat about.

I have a friend who sounds exactly the same as yours. My friend has only recently been in a position where she has disposable income and just doesn’t seem to realise that it’s crass to talk about how much money she has. She frequently posts on Facebook when she has been shopping, gone on holiday and I never acknowledge them. I don’t have any advice on how to deal with it and I just listen and say ‘how nice’ when I get the chance!!

I knew someone like that once. She was a nice woman but I started to dread her tales of expenditure, wealth, and extravagance every time we met. One day I asked "Do you always talk so openly to other people about your finances etc." She said "Well, yes. Doesn't everyone?" I suggested it might be better to keep such things to herself as some people could see it as boasting, or feel envious or resentful of her good fortune which could even make her vulnerable to crime. She still continued to talk about things she'd bought but didn't mention prices or investments etc.

I’m like you, TwinLolly, in that I prefer to keep financial matters private. I, too, have a younger friend who is very canny with money and always buys the most expensive version of what ever it is she is buying, so she must do quite well. (She joined a very expensive dating agency and eventually married someone at 50 who wanted her to stop work). Everything always costs ‘an absolute fortune’ or ‘an arm and a leg’. She’s never specific about costs, but will point you in the direction of the company she purchased something from. I was with her once when she paid well over £200.00 for a pillow. I know she bought a least one more after that! Each to his own, I guess, but it does get a bit tedious hearing it all the time and I do feel that she’s rubbing my nose in it a bit.

People who go on and on about anything can be a bit dull, but I'm sure we all do the same at one time or another

I find money an interesting subject....masses of it and counting out the pennies, it is all just money. I love splurging and I love a bargain. Having enough is a good feeling, having too little is worrying

Lack of cash can make someone feel very insecure so talking about having enough to manage and buy things may be her way of telling you about how she is feeling

If you are a good/perceptive friend you will read between the lines and see what is really going on
Ask her how it feels to have income security, to find a bargain or to spend on things she loves. Could be some interesting answers

Some people I know are terrible money snobs. The man talks to certain of us (generally people who don't have much) about the vast sums he sold his business for and how much he's paid as a business consultant. His wife likes to be seen in their mega expensive sports coupe and she just laughed scathingly when she heard that a friend's new car was a SEAT, not even a BMW.... She is also a bully.

However, I tolerate them because such behaviour is a true indicator of low self esteem. Why he suffers from it is a mystery but she was bullied as a youngster and people often develop an attitude of 'I'll get you before you get me' when they've been a victim of bullying.

People who put others down, do it to make themselves feel bigger.

Just explain to her that if she ever feels she has accumulated too much wealth, that you would be more than happy to relieve her of some of the burden. If that still troubles you, pass it to me!

Just tell her as you’ve told us. Is there something underlying it all do you think? Low confidence/ self esteem? If not, it all sounds really boring.

My father in law did that once and the brakes did not respond as they should have done. My husband was worried sick. My FIL was penny wise but pound foolish. Would tip someone £10 but would travel miles to save a penny

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I’ve noticed that whenever I buy something for myself or for the house my DIL always asks how much it cost. Sometimes I manage to sway the conversation and avoid answering because it’s something I would never ask anyone unless they brought it up themselves. Now I’ve started to have dark thoughts about her thoughts - is she thinking ‘that’s less for us when she dies?!’ I’m sure it’s probably just curiosity or a difference in upbringing but I do find it awkward and a little annoying - they’re not short of money btw!

I suppose it’s interesting to start with, but it come become boring, irritating and boastful. I wonder if your friend came from quite a poor background and can’t help sharing all the new wealth that she has.

I really don’t know how you can stop this, but I suppose you could say something like ‘yes, you’ve told me this before’.

I have a friend who is very interested in the price of other people's houses. Yawn, yawn, not interested

I think she’s showing off to be honest and trying to impress you.

I love to hear about friends bargains they’ve got but bragging about how expensive something is, is quite common. I definitely wouldn’t discuss income with anyone it’s private.

Think she’s wanting you to compare your income with her! I’m also lucky enough to have holiday cottage but if someone wants to know my income from it they can look on website!!

I had an Aunt who told me how much everything cost, but she had a poverty stricken childhood, and I felt it was her way of proving that she had risen above it!

I really sympathise with TwinLolly, I live in a country where the all talk about money non stop. I think it is so rude and a terrible way of showing off, they can even access a site where you can check how much people earn! I dont think in this case here, an entire nation can be insecure, they just have to be better than the Joneses,it is so irritating I have lived here for fifty years and it doesnt get any better.

Maybe tell her that she really ought to stop telling people about how much she pays for things and how much money she has, as like a previous poster said, it could make her vulnerable to thieves. For example if she tells guests in her holiday home how much items cost, she's asking for things to disappear.

It would be rude to say so to her, but Oscar Wilde’s quip of knowing the price of everything but the value of nothing comes to mind. I agree with others it’s rather touching though bit boring, sms people just don’t have an edit and it does show how this constantly goes through her mind. You could tease her.. when she mentions something that has no price ask her what she thinks it might be.. she might pick up that she has an irrelevant habit. Or perhaps when you are speaking of something of yours ask do you want to know the price? A little bit of humour might help

why not? talk about money? well getting to know people, retired ... sort of helps me to know someone elses circumstances,, but to keep going on about it.. dunno?

WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT¬ ! I have to keep reminding myself of that! LOL

I like to know the cost of things... so I guess I could be "guilty " of that... but not income etc... once is enough

I used to have a 'friend', who would go on and on about how broke she and her husband were who would shout 'HOW MUCH'? If I purchased anything from a 'real' shop as opposed to a small ad, car boot sale, charity shop, of freecycle or the like.

I never made judgements about her purchases (which were many and unneeded), or the running of their car, a huge beast that she boasted did 12 miles to the gallon, helped her by paying half the cost of spaying her dog, and treated h er every time we went out.

Our friendship came to an end when her dog, a beautiful, but very obese American Bulldog, developed hip dysplasia. She and her husband had the choice of surgery which could potentially resolve the problem but would cost a fair amount (though they would be offered a 50% reduction), and offered no guarantees, or putting her to sleep. They opted to put her to sleep.

I was broken hearted to see such a beautiful animal euthanased as opposed to being given a chance. Had she spoken to us we would have happily helped them with the cost and aftercare but no, the first anyone knew was when she plastered her woe be mine story over Facebook.

So I'm afraid I had to back away from my so called friend who went on about money.

I had a friend who was very much like that. Always telling me what wonderful things they bought and the exotic holidays they had. But then her husband died suddenly and she was plunged into financial problems.
I just felt sorry for her then; their way of life had obviously meant a lot to her. We are still friends, I'm glad to say, but she has changed tack. She is undeniably attractive and now talks all the time about how many men admire her and are pursuing her.

Some really interesting thoughts on the background to this behaviour, but I feel the same about bragging over wealth and ridiculously overpriced designer goods. My car is also an A to B, safe, comfortable job with enough room for the dog cage . No frills. I just don't get the hype /faff over a piece of metalwork. It's a car.
I hate the waste of silly money, perhaps it's worth saying to her how lovely it must be to have enough funds to give money to lots of important charities.
My parents weren't well off, weren't envious of others, but valued people for personality /kindness instead of status. It was a good life lesson for the four of us. A fixation with money is so prevalent but I would find endless reference to it pretty wearing.
I wish you luck, I hope changing the subject is part of the solution but maybe picking your moment and asking how money was regarded as a childhood thing, it could explain a lot. As another GNer said, it could actually be a revelation. I'm rather intrigued now too!

I was always told it was vulgar to talk about money. I don't know how I would go about suggesting to a friend that they change the subject; perhaps make a sign saying something like those who speak of money know the price of everything but value of nothing and place it prominently?

I have a wealthy former friend who asked me to a family lunch party in an hotel then pointed to my indifferent meal she’d paid for and said,” You won’t be getting a birthday present this year because of this.” At her 60th birthday lunch I presented her with a really lovely turquoise leather trinket box lined in fuschia which had cost me almost £50. She unwrapped it, opened it then announced to the assembled guests,”But there’s nothing in it.” She calls herself a Christian...

Bottom line, your friend is boring if all she can do is talk over and over about herself, her incomes. Chinese proverb - Empty vessels make the most noise. Stick with your impoverished interesting friends or your seriously wealthy interesting friends and cut out the social climber.