Feelings of resentment...

The civil service was recently recruiting lots of temporary staff and they are a very inclusive employer. After training some of the jobs could be done from home. My son is waiting to be diagnosed for adult ADHD but has had several part time jobs while at college. He just needs very clear instructions what is expected of him. Has your daughter got a DWP work coach who can help her look for suitable jobs or apprenticeships ?

I’m rather new to this so still finding my way about.

We are still waiting to hear back from the psychologist but thank you seasider that is something we have recently become aware of having a coach. It’s been a minefield as we’ve never had to deal with this until now. Best of luck as regards your son.
It’s not been easy getting to this point.

Coffee First, I hope your daughter feels better soon.

You write more than once that you feel lost. I guess you mean you can't decide what to do next to make things better for your daughter and yourself, firstly in relation to each other , and secondly as separate people.

These are different problems. With regard to yourself, you need to stop thinking of your daughter as a companion, and seek more company outside your family. You like meeting others. How did you meet others before you married? Certainly covid makes meeting others more difficult but there are ways such as outdoors at a pub beer garden, or pavement cafe. There are websites where women can get in touch with others for small social events like coffee or hobbies, even in time of pandemic.

About your job, would you feel able to quietly tell your employer you want to be helpful, and ask your employer what it is they want from you that perhaps you are not providing as an employee?

Hi
I am really sorry to hear you are going through this.
Has your daughter considered doing a bit of voluntary work? It would help her build experience, get her out of the house and lift her mood? If shes set on a career in retail there are lots of charity shops desperate for help but there are loads of other charity areas health, animal welfare, food banks, homeless, citizens Advice etc etc the list is huge!
With regards to your situation I would echo the advice to get help for your mental health. I got some free counselling a few years ago from a charity that supports carers. You also are a carer have you contacted any charities that support people who care for others? It might also be worth talking to your GP and alerting them to your caring duties.
Work sounds awful! I have worked in the past in a toxic work environment and can testify that it has a huge mental health toll! I would start looking for another job without delay if you can do so expand your search to part time roles. I used a specialist recruitment agency who find staff in my profession and got a lovely role in a different organisation where I was very happy.
Try to find activities outside the home just for you, join a walking group if you like walking, or a book group (my library runs one yours may too) may be volunteer yourself at the weekend for something in a local community group, I helped out with a local community group planting vegetables in community spaces for local people to use for free, and also got involved in some fund raising for homeless charities which got me meeting new people and actively involved in the community. Its important to make a start with your own well being as someone else said your mood will also effect the household
You feel as if your family are on their own with problems but this is really not true! Mine have some awful issues going on at the moment but if you met us or looked at our face book or insta posts you would only see the good stuff and funny things going on! I confide in a couple of close friends when I need to and that helps as well