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Toddler Only Wants To Wee In Garden

(88 Posts)
Naninka Thu 12-Aug-21 23:56:37

My daughter-in-law is becoming very anxious about her son (my DGS) because he won't use the potty or toilet. However, he is completely dry, including nights.
So where does he wee? In their garden, in my garden, behind a bush, anywhere outdoors.
He holds a number 2 for his own garden but does likes to see it flushed down the loo by his mummy or daddy.
We have tried everything we can think of!
It's so frustrating and is holding him back from us taking him places like soft play, farm park, etc.
Any suggestions, oh wise ones?
I'm particularly interested to know if anyone else has experienced this with a toddler and how they overcame it.

BlueBelle Fri 13-Aug-21 17:23:40

MissA I agree if the choice shouldn’t be given
I don’t understand how he decided he was only going to pee in the garden in the first place. If it happened I would have laughed said ‘whoops’ and whipped him up and popped him in the toilet or on his potty
He would have known it wasn’t a choice, now he believes he is fine to go in the garden and for a poo as well !!
Because everyone seems to have gone along with it, he believes it’s perfectly ok and it’s now it’s become a problem as they can’t go visiting any attractions or I presume friends or relatives houses ?
I think a star chart or the table tennis ball and no more peeing in the garden allowed because he’s a big boy

vegansrock Fri 13-Aug-21 17:31:51

It’s one thing having a wee behind a tree on a country walk it’s another going out in the garden for a poo. Sometimes you just have to say no.

BlueBelle Fri 13-Aug-21 17:46:25

I ve done that myself veganrock ? nothing wrong with the odd occasion but not the norm

eazybee Fri 13-Aug-21 17:57:51

The child is three, able to control his bladder and his bowels, therefore there is no need for him to use the garden as his personal lavatory.. I too wonder what happens when he wakes in the night, gets up early in the morning.
And the usual, wait until he gets to school, nursery; they will deal with it. Why should they?
In 1971, with a new Reception class in a new school, I had one child who had hysterics using the very old-fashioned indoor lavatory, (only one, the rest were across the playground); he was terrified of the overhead cistern flushing and at home used a bucket. That was forgivable and soon overcome.

Newatthis Fri 13-Aug-21 17:58:57

Is this learned behaviour? Has he seen someone do this? I know that sometimes, especially when in the car and the is a 'wee emergency' we have stopped and let ours, when they were little, wee on the grass verge but it didn't stop them know that the place to do it was the loo.

Blinko Fri 13-Aug-21 19:38:11

This seems to have worked in reverse for one of our sons. Aged about two and a bit, he was playing outdoors with nothing on as it was very warm. He came rushing in when he realised he needed to wee and had no nappy on. Potty trained in one day!

Baggs Fri 13-Aug-21 21:06:15

Urine is good for compost heaps.

Naninka Fri 13-Aug-21 21:53:23

MissAdventure

Naninka
I owe you an apology for last night.
I was concerned the thread may be by someone with bad intentions, but I can see you're genuine.
So again, sorry.

Thank you, lovely.
Some helpful comments here and will pass them all on.
Thank you so much everyone. x

GagaJo Fri 13-Aug-21 23:11:35

GoldenAge

I wonder if anyone has this problem with their granddaughters? No, of course not. It's pure indulgence of little boys to allow them to pull out their penises wherever they want - think I'm being a bit strait-laced or overly feminist? Not at all, just making that blindingly obvious point that little boys should be taught very early on that their penises don't rule the world.

I don't think it IS indulgence GoldenAge. My DD was very easily trained. Dry at 1 and through the night at 2, with not a lot of effort on my part.

DGS took a YEAR to train to the point he's at now. I really felt for my daughter.

I agree about training boys in what is and isn't acceptable though. It's a LONG process and one that I've never had any need to be involved in before, in a family that has previously only produced girls. It is a LOT harder with a loud, boisterous, ball of energy boy (and I'd thought my DD was hard work, she had NOTHING on DGS).

Llamedos13 Sat 14-Aug-21 03:41:07

I’ve been known to throw a chocolate chip into the toilet. My little grandson thinks it’s the best thing ever to aim for it. Never fails to get him to go!

mumofmadboys Sat 14-Aug-21 04:29:25

Try rewarding each wee in the loo with a chocolate button or a smartie.

V3ra Sat 14-Aug-21 08:05:19

mumofmadboys

Try rewarding each wee in the loo with a chocolate button or a smartie.

We do that here with chocolate buttons!
"One for a wee, two for a poo."
Works a treat ?