Massive Dilemma

Hear hear MissAdventure. You try to give advice and it’s thrown back in your face. Sounds like Msida doesn’t really know what they want.

With all due respect, this is not your property that you have been swindled out of - it is a HA property that you chose to leave.

We all do things we regret, but those things can't always be undone, or at any rate they can't be simply reversed. If you try to do that by making life difficult for the swappers, it could backfire. You don't appear to be in your new place legally either, as you haven't signed the relevant paperwork - what if they hear about that and report you?

I don't think that you have any moral responsibility to report them. For one thing, you don't know the circumstances. As has been said, the house might be on the market, or there could be all sorts of other reasons for it being registered in their name that are none of your business.

For another, what sort of mindset sees us all as being morally obligated to snoop on one another and report suspicious behaviour to the authorities? That's how the Stazi operated, and nobody benefited from the feelings of fear and paranoia that ruled their lives.

Thirdly, you are not in a great legal position yourself, as mentioned above.

Finally, you would be doing it out of revenge or self-interest, and karma has a habit of bouncing back on that. Would you be happy in your old house knowing that you may have made someone else homeless?

I hope you can find a way to be happy where you are, and put the past behind you.

I used to work for a housing association, and checks would have been carried out to ensure they were eligible, although of course fraud does happen. There may be some circumstances in which it is possible to own a home whilst being allocated a home but these are unusual.
Msida - you say you did an exchange which suggests you swapped with the couple, so they already would have had the tenancy. If that isnt the case, they have legal rights as tenants and the housing association could not evict them without grounds to take them to court. So maybe better to take steps to try and settle in your new home.

Are you in a town or village?

We moved in the middle of lockdown. I don't have nearly as many problems as you, but I was lonely and lockdown didn't help.

In the last fortnight I've joined the book club, the sewing circle, and the WI. I've also volunteered to help in the library. I may not get on with everybody, but some of the people I've met will, I'm sure be good friends.

Try baking some scones and taking them to a neighbour? Saying, "I'm new here so I just wanted to say hello."

Either get legal advice or speak to citizens advice to know exactly where you stand, and the property register would list any property they other people own and a solicitor could find this relatively easily

I think the two things are unrelated. One is the potential ownership of another property. Maybe they inherited it after they already had the HA tenancy? Not sure what happens in those circumstances.

Secondly is that you don't like your new home. I don't think changing your mind means you have the right to move back - surely the other people concerned have to agree?

I understand your frustration and sadness I in fact went through the same thing and ended up losing my home so be careful when i refused to sign any papers after i'd already moved and it was a 3 way move, so caused a lot of drama but I moved hated it hated the house the area the neighbours, and then the council started proceedings to take the properties off all of us as we moved before it went through, I don't know what happened to the other people but i had to end up finding another property in a different catchment area. I'd prob speak to the other people explain your unhappiness and what you've found out, if they don't budge try and ride it our and apply for another exchange back to nearer were your old house was

If you had not signed the agreement how did you manage to exchange homes in the first place? Wherever one moves to it takes time to get used to your new home and the neighbourhood so it needs time to get used to it. Even if it was found the other couple did own another house there’s no guarantee that the housing association would let you go move back to your old address. I do know a couple who moved into a an housing association flat having sold their house for £490,000
They gave their three children £30,000 each for the deposits on houses and paid off some debts. They now live a comfortable life with the rest in the bank. They told the housing association up front that they were selling their home because of debt.

Make an appointment with CAB ASAP. Take all your info, facts, problems and discuss.
Act on their advice.
Don’t contact the new tenants!
If you can’t get a CAB appointment, arrange an interview with the HA.
Don’t make things any worse by taking the wrong action based on hearsay, uninformed opinions or a whim.

Hi the other couple who you say own property, it could be there is info you are not entitled to know such as the house is being repossed therefore would deem the couple homeless and entitled to social housing...just a thought

Midday please contact Citizens Advice to get all the facts straight before you take any further action. Best of luck.

Sorry auto corrected Msida to midday!

Contact CAB or a solicitor specialising in tenancies (contact local Law Society who will give you a list). On no accounts contact the other couple.

Of the choices you have listed the first would not necessarily mean you will get your original property back and the second almost sounds like blackmail.

I have recently moved myself and went through the stage of regretting my decision and wanting to move back to my old house, so I know how you feel. However, I have found by getting to know neighbours and joining local groups I am settling in. Give it a chance and don't do anything rash.

The other thing that hasn't been mentioned and maybe you should consider is the state of the property you vacated may not be somewhere you now wish to live either if they've been living in it several months....
I think you had a part to play in this scenario and you have to accept you wanted to do the swap, nobody forced you.
I cannot see a situation whereby the authority rehouse you to the original property if it was too big for your needs. There's a dire need for council housing up and down the country and you would be taking up a property better suited to a family if you moved back.
I agree with other posters, go to CAB and get some legal advice.
Im not sure raining on the other tenants parade is going to get you the outcome you desire ?

Go and talk to the housing association and it is their job to sort it all out. But do not assume that they will find in your favour.

Msida, I think you need to speak with a Housing Officer about this, but I don’t think it’s in your best interests to dwell on your previous home but to find something and somewhere more suited to your needs. Sorry, I didn’t see your question of me last night but yes they did know. In fact it was the HA who offered the house to us, we didn’t ask to be housed. It was supposed to be a temporary measure until we had sold the house and we could buy another but sadly house prices went sky high and, despite us both having professional jobs, we couldn’t afford to buy.

I don’t think by delving into the other tenants business about them owning another property is going to prove beneficial to anyone involved, it would just cause misery and mistrust with all parties involved and you probably had a good relationship with the other tenants before you exchanged contracts. Besides, you have no idea what their circumstances are and it has nothing to do with your dilemma. The problem lies with you being unhappy with the exchange. I would be more inclined to negotiate with the HA and explain how unhappy you are with your decision. I would point out that it was the reason you didn’t sign the contract as you had your doubts and should have sought advice from friends or family before moving. I definitely think that honesty on your part will go a long way to solving your situation. We all make wrong decisions at some time and I’m sure the HA will see it that way. I really wish you good luck and happiness for the future.

why did you agree to move in first place?

Call your local Citizens Advice Bureau and ask them. You may need an appointment. Make sure you have all the paperwork with you.

It's difficult when you know you have made a mistake but, from my perspective, I would have to say that I feel it is always best to avoid making decisions that you 'know' will be likely to hurt someone else or cause them pain, no matter what you believe about them. If they are not entitled to the house that would be their business and therefore a problem for them to deal with and sort out, rather than you. It's possible you don't have all the facts. To use it this 'knowledge' against them, if it is actually true about them, means you would be making a decision about telling on them solely for your own benefit and that could easily backfire on you at some point.

Remember that if you were actually buying and selling a property, you wouldn't be able to change your mind after moving in.

It is said to never look back because no-one is ever going in that direction. Instead, look at the present situation you find yourself in and make efforts to move 'forward' from there, rather than 'backward'. I'm sure you will be able to see some benefits of moving forwards using where you are now as a starting point. Good luck and trust!

Msida, having just read the previous post that you made about why you moved in the first place, I can't help feeling that the best thing you can do, is to try and look forward, and forget about going back to your old home. The reason I say this, is that even if you could go back, you still won't be happy there, as you're clearly grieving, and as many of us Grans know, that's a long hard road to tread.

Are you physically able? If so, can I suggest that however low you may be feeling, you make the effort to go out for a minimum 20 minute walk each day. I used to suffer dreadfully from depression, and found that the more I exercised, the better I felt. Do you have any hobbies? If so, now is the time to get back to them. Concentrate on doing things that will pass the time, and keep your mind occupied, whether it be a crossword, needlework, or even a jigsaw puzzle, which you can even download for free online, so that you're not dwelling on what you see as the mistake of moving. You mention family and friends, have you pushed them away since you lost your husband? If so, now would be a good time to reach out. Invite them to see your new home. I believe that you're living in a flat, do you see people of a similar age group, coming and going? If so, watch to find out which flat they live in, and then pop a note through the door, saying that you're a new tenant, have seen them about, and wondered whether they might like to join you for a coffee, giving a day and time, followed by, 'if that isn't convenient, but you'd still like to meet up, do give me a call on ....... and we can arrange something to suit us both'.

I think ultimately what I'm saying, is that you are focusing all your energy on trying to move back, when really what you need, is to settle down, and catch your breath after all you've been through. I would also suggest having a chat with your new GP, (assuming you've moved far enough to have changed doctors), and explain how miserable you are. You will probably find that they will issue you with a mild antidepressant, which will, once it's had time to get to work, help you to see that things aren't all as bad as they seem right now, and you could also ask if there are any bereavement counsellors that you could see.

I hope that maybe some of what I've said might help change your direction of thought, and if you're feeling lonely and would just like to chat, do please feel free to private message me.

Wishing you all the very best and sending a bunch of to brighten your day.

It could potentially be rather difficult contacting the CAB currently for some time. I would try SHELTER as they are all about housing and you should be able to speak to someone today about it all and get some advice.

I doubt whether you would be able to go to your previous place, but the HA should be able to help you get somewhere else more suitable hopefully?

england.shelter.org.uk/get_help

If proof is required for the couple's ownership of a property you can check the title on the land register you obviously need to know the address. If you have this evidence then the people have obtained your old house deceitfully. Otherwise you will be very unlikely to have any leverage to move back.

I think regardless of signatures it could be proven that you willingly left your old home and moved into the new one. K am not a lawyer but I thought there was such a thing as a verbal agreement provided it could be established. In this case it could be. It is up up the HA to establish if the people in your old home acted fraudulently and not you. Just a sad mistake on your part so try to move on.

One of my neighbours was left a house as part of the estate by a chap that she was a carer for.
She continued to live in her Housing Ass house and used the other as a holiday home (it's several hours away in Scotland)
What she didn't realise is that the different tax offices and parts of the DWP are in contact with each other and eventually she was evicted by the HA.
If you own a house , you are not entitled to social housing certainly. Contact Citizens Advice and if what you had heard is true, it may not guarantee that you can move straight back into your old home as it may well go to the next in the waiting list.