Bedtime bad behaviour

GrandmaKT I do think the bedtime is a bit early for those ages, and also they still seem to have a lot of energy to expend. Maybe an hour later might help to get them more ready for bed.

I think you have to accept that this is how it is and not try to stop what is happening. The rioting at bedtime is them letting off steam before going to sleep. My 2 grandsons behave in exactly the same way at home and with me. Bedtime is the time for endless fighting and screaming, all fairly amicable, no crying. If you shut them away to do it and go and watch telly you can go back after a while and you will find them in a heap fast asleep. Not all children do this. I had one GC who would toss and turn and sing for ages before drifting off. They are all different.

Too early and really bedtimes should be the best times.
Time to read them books you really love.
Don’t think about it till after six for meal then baths, pjs and read them books. It will take a couple of hours. And I agree with others a walk play in the park or whatever before evening meal. Tired full clean and mentally relaxed. I know it’s easier said than done and I only have dogs now and it works with them too! Believe me you don’t want an energetic dog trying to play tug with you all evening.

Sounds like your family are all early birds as the children must be up at the crack of dawn with such an early bedtime routine.
One of my granddaughters isn’t picked up from day nursery til 6pm.
Our family are all night owls and my grandchildren aged 7, 4 and 2 go to bed somewhere between 8 and 9. Even later when they stop at my house/school holidays/weekends. They don’t wake till at least 8 am when at mine which suits me.

Wow - that's early to do Bedtime! Do yourselves a favour, and allow a 'Nana Treat Time' that fits in with what you've been doing.

I'd even be looking to do 'separate bedtimes' - one of you sort the youngest one out first, including sitting at the side of the them while reading the story. Keep the bedroom dimmed and your voice low - even monotonous - no 'excitable' stories.

As the youngest starts to drift off, the other one could start to get the older child ready for bed QUIETLY - so as NOT to disturb the younger one dozing off. During 'story time' you could also talk about what you've enjoyed together during the day and praise the times when they were well-behaved. Again, keep the bedroom light dimmed and your voice low/monotonous during story time. No video games or excitable stories.

I've had three children of my own - now all adults. Now it's grandchildren - though the youngest is now 5years old.

Have to say though, that I've refused point blank to have my younger son's two youngest (age 5 and 13) together overnight in my own home. The YOUNGEST is the problem in that instance! They can't even be allowed to sit next to each other in the car when they're going on a journey anywhere .

Bedtime is way too early!! Plus they are going to be wide awake at the crack of dawn. And difficult to go to sleep if its still light outside so I'd do a go to bed time and then they can read (or look at) books quietly for a while before lights out.

We always did a morning bath with our ds. Even as a baby he was sweaty (possibly due to his disabilities) so much more pleasant to have him sweet smelling for the day ahead!!

I agree with all comments that the GC’s bedtimes are far too early. If the OP finds it hard to persuade the parents that they need to change the bedtime routine, maybe she could show them all the helpful comments on here. Good luck to you and your GC.

They are obviously not tired. When any of my GC or GGC stay it’s “ my house, my rules”. Wear them out. Bath them. Story time. Hopefully sleep. Having said that I am here expecting 4 of them. Ask me again next week!

Their bedtime seems halfway through the day to me! They're just not tired are they? Also, as well as letting them stay up later, maybe make sure they have no sugary pudding with their supper so they don't get hyper.

I think a health visitor would be mentally raising a red flag if they were told the children were going to bed at 5pm. Also the pantomime to get them to settle. Parenting classes would sort out this issue and establish a routine which enabled the children to have a 7pm bedtime and the parents would have some time together in the evening. This might be too delicate an issue for the grandparents to raise but there is an ideal opportunity to do some research to find a book dealing with bedtimes, send for two copies , keep one , give the parents the other and suggest that you each have a similar routine when caring overnight. The parents are probably exhausted having backed themselves into a corner with this inappropriate bedtime routine.
I remember as an only child having a 7.30 bedtime when I was about seven years old and it was still daylight in the summer. I could hear the neighbours children still playing outside. there were five children in that house and some were younger than me. It seemed very unfair. My own children also went to bed at 7,30 until they were about 8 years old.
This sounds to me as if the parents are struggling and have to a certain extent, lost control. They don't sound as if they are enjoying their parenting role.

Teacheranne

I’m afraid I was an awful aunt when I had my niece and nephew for sleepovers! Bed time was very late, after playing board games we got out blankets, spread them on the floor and watched a film that the children chose, eating popcorn or other treats. Bedtime was very late and they were allowed to stay in bed as long as they wanted in the morning playing on iPads so that I did not have to get up!

I have to say they loved coming to stay with me in the school holidays!

This was very like time with my grandparents!

I was allowed to stay up late and I'd curl up on the sofa with my Nan and watch TV, read or we'd play games.
In the summer I'd "camp" with my Grandfather in the garden!

I could stay in bed late in the morning and have milky tea and toast "in bed"!!
I loved staying with them....

So just set a routine when you have them at their home
As others have said the bedtime routine starts way too early
Tea at 5
Then a long Bath time and some quit play or appropriate TV for an hour
Snack
Stories
Bed for 7.30
They’re being put to bed in the middle of the day sorry hit it’s a ridiculous routine

This is what it’s all about!

My grandchildren have always had loads of energy left at that time, having their afternoon snack. They must be going to bed almost as soon as they get in from school. I would tell their parents that when they're with you they can eat later and go to bed later because it fits better with your routine. Make their active day longer and more tiring.

Ridiculously early bed time. Clearly they're not tired. It's obvious they are old enough for a 7 - 7.30 bed time.

That seems an extremely early teatime, and bedtime to me.

Clearly parents put them to bed early to have child free evening.. that is sooo early .. whatever time do they wake up ?
I am on week threee of 9 and 12 year old grandsons and it’s a constant battle of breaking up arguments, steering them off devices, getting them stimulated , getting them washed , fed , watered ... it’s exhausting and ends up very stressful for us all. But add in the lovely moments and the happiness they have with us the rest of the time and it’s something I will miss when they are gone home !

Have you tried doing a star chart for each of them - maybe you could have a chat with the parents too … they sound like they could do with some help in establishing a realistic sleep pattern - from you or dr internet ! They must be knackered themselves - wore me out just reading what they get up to.
Everyone needs a little help sometimes - unfortunately kids don’t come with a user manual!

I have two granddaughters 7 and 9 and have had them overnight on various occasions since birth. I have never made them go to bed early, they went to bed around 7.30pm at home but it was more 9pm at mine, it was usually a weekend anyway. My house, my rules. But I would have been the same babysitting them at home. I don’t send them earlier for precisely that reason, they don’t seem ready for bed.

Sounds like they are going to bed far too early, would of thought 7pm with a bath at 6.30. I’m try to organise a good run around prior to tea time either at a local park or in the garden. After tea maybe a little TV then let them do their reading. Make sure they get nothing with Efactors in or chocolate as they can put children on a high! Bath and then bedtime stories. It’s important to get them calm before story time , and maybe a little bribery if they settle down quietly for a treat the next day. Good luck

Bed time is too early for them . I know it’s not your call but I wouldn’t start the bedtime wind down until 6.15 - maybe bath, milk or drink/snack, teeth and story. Snuggle down time 730 on a school night/maybe fractionally later on weekend/holiday. It’s always worked for us.

I am having a bedtime issue tonight so I really do feel for you. Great grandson 3 is staying overnight, not something he usually does and he is just not cooperating at all.
There must be a reason so many children do not like bedtime, if anyone figures it out let me know as well

I agree with other comments, 5pm is far too early for children of any age!
Actually, you and your OH might consider watching episodes of Super Nanny on YouTube, she endorses a bedtime routine that works! Have a look a a few episodes yourselves and then recommend them to DS and DIL, by allowing the children to fool around and interacting with them they are making matters worse and spoiling the special time for you and your OH when you look after the GC.

What time do these children get up in the morning?

I was their ages in the 1950s and my parents were firmly convinced that children needed 12 hours sleep a night so we were sent to bed at 7 p.m.

I couldn't sleep at that time and lay awake for hours, not daring to get out of bed again.

I think you are fully justified in saying that unless this behaviour stops you cannot have the children staying with you again. It is simply too tiring dealing with their bedtime.

Have you tried putting them to bed without a story, closing their doors and leaving them to it?

It sounds to me the kind of behaviour that is only fun if the children clearly can see that it is winding their parents and grandparents up.

It might well stop if you ignore it, unless you can come up with whatever you and the children's parents feel is the socially acceptable replacement for the smacked bottom that this behaviour would have resulted in in my childhood.

I am not advocating smacking children, but you have to be able to draw a line somewhere and somehow.

Yes but it has to be a L-O-N-G walk, and not involving push-chairs! Obviously they’re not getting enough exercise during the day. If they were really tired they’d sleep.