Bedtime bad behaviour

I’m with the divide and conquer brigade though I cannot for the life of me see why they have to go to bed at such an hour! Means that in term time life is essentially school and bed!

Perhaps the bedtime has been bought forward to accommodate 2 hours of messing about?
Not much fun for anyone.

Thanks everyone. You have confirmed my belief that the bedtime is just crazy! (I thought maybe some others would come on and say that their DC imposed routines like this - but obviously not!)
I assure those of you who doubted that they carry out this routine at home that they certainly do, I have witnessed it many times! As some have said, it is more for their (parents) benefit so they can have some 'couples' time in the evenings. DS works and didn't see the children at all during the week, but sinch Covid he has been WFH, so sees more of them.
I have already tried to broach the subject with my DIL and son and will try again. I know they have DGC have their names down for after school classes next term, so surely that will mean a more normal bedtime.
Parents are back this evening, so I'll be handing the kids over to them!

I wouldnt talk to your dd and sil about the night time routine - their parenting decisions, not yours.

Those children are running rings round the parents with all the bedtime shenanigans, but as everyone else has pointed out, it’s all linked to bedtime being far too early.

The idea of the rest of the household having to keep perfectly silent is madness!

Hithere

I wouldnt talk to your dd and sil about the night time routine - their parenting decisions, not yours.

Yes, but it is affecting us when we look after the children!

You obviously know what is a sensible bedtime routine, and many people have reinforced it on here.
I wouldn't discuss it with the parents to be honest, I think their reasons for it all are a bit sad especially when you offer them child-free breaks as well.

I'd start from the other side next time the boys stay with you: tell them what happened at bedtime in your house when their daddy was their age.
Explain that all this silly messing around is for babies really, it's not what "the big boys" do.

Sit them down and draw up a bedtime routine for while they're at yours that you can all agree on, eg tea, bath, stories, film, quiet time, whatever you want to include.
Make them a chart each to follow and either tick off or have "well done" stickers for each step for the evenings they're with you.
Get them to "own" their behaviour now they're no longer babies.
Have a token "big boys" treat or outing they can each aspire to achieving.

I think if you approach this calmly, affectionately and consistently you will get there. They might even decide they want to do it at home as well.

Good advice V3ra! I'll get organised for next time! x

I thought perhaps the parents organised such an early bedtime routine because one of them had to depart for a night shift, but it seems as though they require child-free time, and the children have sensed this, hence their disruptive behaviour.
The parents really do need to think about what they are doing. If the children are attending after school classes, aged five (?), they are going to need more attention at home, not less.

I wondered if they organised such an early bedtime because they wanted some time to themselves in the evening.

It's not working though, is it!

OP

If the parents' rules are that inconvenient, you can choose not to look after them.

I'm sure the op knows that, but she is looking for ways and means to reduce the time piddling about every night.

Hide the clocks and keep them up later.

I used to sometimes put the clock forward.

Teacheranne

I’m afraid I was an awful aunt when I had my niece and nephew for sleepovers! Bed time was very late, after playing board games we got out blankets, spread them on the floor and watched a film that the children chose, eating popcorn or other treats. Bedtime was very late and they were allowed to stay in bed as long as they wanted in the morning playing on iPads so that I did not have to get up!

I have to say they loved coming to stay with me in the school holidays!

Now that's a PROPER staying with granny experience!
My grandsons stay up late watching a movie with Grandad (giving me time to clear up) or we all play a board game. Or both.
No devices in bedrooms though! But they are too tired to moan and go straight to sleep (usually around 9 - 9.30ish).

I think you have to keep them up later (just as a treat while you’re with GM and GD).

Way too early!!

Callistemon

I wondered if they organised such an early bedtime because they wanted some time to themselves in the evening.

It's not working though, is it!

well they get to spend time on the landing

I had a child with autism so I had to be quite strict about routine but kids need it at night time really. Ours was bath, an hour of tv, story with a warm drink and bed. I would stay in their rooms if needed until they dozed off. They didn't go to be quite so early though.

Your daughter/son need to accept that when you have young children you rarely get times to yourselves unless you have loving grandparents who will have them overnight so you can go away - which is what you are doing! So tell them if they don't get them in a routine you wont do it

My parents used to have their grandchildren staying when they were little from babyhood and my brother's twins were by far the worst at bedtime!
They had never been allowed naps during the day from about 6 months old- SiL thought they wouldn't sleep at night if they did. Instead they got overtired and only fell asleep at about 10 pm from exhaustion!
They used to do the same as yours , including running up and down stairs, which was unfair to my son as we lived with my parents at the time and he was usually in bed between 7 and 8pm! My dad just sat them down one day and told them that they wouldn't be able to come to Nanny and Pappy's again unless they were quieter and stayed in their rooms.
We gave them (at that time) a cassette recorder and story tapes and also the books to go with them or music tapes,that they had on the understanding that they stayed in their rooms. It worked.

Too early - I agree. Make the process happen later and choose a late afternoon activity which is physical - a walk - trampolining - hide and seek. Then have a star chart with each event in a column - 5.0 pm tea eaten - 6.00 book reading or play - 7.0 preparing for bed - 7.30 lights out and settle nicely. Earlier in school time. Next day award a star sticker for each child who has earned their star for each activity done nicely.
It worked with my two GC who were very boisterous at bedtime and they loved the competition of trying to beat each other. Bedtime became routine after this.

Goodness that's very early - no wonder they're not tired!
Are they having sweet things with their supper? Best not to have any sugary puddings so they don't get hyper.
But basically - split the bedtimes, as someone else suggested and maybe experiment with letting them stay up till they're actually tired.

Way to early as not used up all their energy and it is light .No wonder they run you and their parents ragged .You shouldn’t have to spend that long Their parents need to explain to them and lay down boundaries and I would

Paperbackwriter

Goodness that's very early - no wonder they're not tired!
Are they having sweet things with their supper? Best not to have any sugary puddings so they don't get hyper.
But basically - split the bedtimes, as someone else suggested and maybe experiment with letting them stay up till they're actually tired.

Yes! This too. My DGS has to eat his vegetables before he has any chance of dessert, BUT sweet stuff sets him off. So he has dinner quite early but can have a piece of (wholemeal) toast before bed.

That's just too early to expect them to be tired ? What time do they wake up?

To me it simply would not be up for discussion with the parents. If Gdcs are staying with you, and the home routine is seriously exhausting you, time to alter it to suit you.

Otherwise they don’t stay in future.