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Bedtime bad behaviour

(141 Posts)
GrandmaKT Mon 16-Aug-21 20:45:29

We are currently looking after our GC (aged 5 and 7) while their parents have a couple of nights away.

We can cope during the daytime, they are boisterous, lively children with lots of energy, but we have lots of activities planned and have had a lovely couple of days.

The problems come at bedtime. Their normal routine is that they have dinner at 4pm and start getting ready for bed at 5pm. This involves both of them reading and their mum and/or dad reading them a story. However long and drawn out this is, though, it always ends with them fighting and laughing at each other, running in and out of each others bedrooms, hiding, saying the want a drink, need the toilet etc etc. After much shouting and cajoling, one parent usually stands guard on the landing while the rest of the household has to remain in absolute silence for 30-40 mins while they go to sleep. The whole rigmarole takes one and a half to two hours.

While we have been looking after them, we have allowed them to stay up til 6pm (which is still pretty early), and shortened the bedtime routine to one bedtime story. (Having explained to them that we are letting them stay up later on the understanding that they behave at bedtime). Obviously though, they still continue the running around, laughing, fighting etc. No amount of reasoning, threats, promises work, they just laugh in our faces. We are exhausted.
I'm thinking of telling my DS and DDil that unless they get this sorted we cannot look after them again, which would be a shame as we do love the daytimes with them.

tickingbird Wed 18-Aug-21 17:40:52

Dinner at 4pm then in bed at 5pm? Ridiculously early I’m afraid. No wonder they’re running about playing. Even 6pm is too early. What time do they usually get up when they’re at home? It’s quite obvious they aren’t tired.

Madgran77 Wed 18-Aug-21 17:53:36

Goos suggestions from Cherrytree

NannyMags Wed 18-Aug-21 17:58:54

I agree, far too early at that age. Let them stay up later and see how it goes. If it works out better for you and the later to sleep works then you could probably say to the parents that it wasn’t working and just while they are with you, then its bed time a bit later and they settle quicker They may well then try it themselves and also have an easier bed time routine

Doug1 Wed 18-Aug-21 19:47:01

My granddaughters routine starts with tea then quiet play and/or time on her tablet then a bath about 7.30pm then a story in the Lounge followed by a story in bed about 8.30pm (No playing after bath time) We sometimes have the odd "Nanna I need.......". When I leave her I can hear her singing or telling herself stories but she is usually asleep within half an hour

Dibbydod Wed 18-Aug-21 22:39:10

Bedtime at 5pm ? that’s still afternoon not evening, dinner at 4pm ? that’s not long after lunch time ! What planet are you all on ? I’m not surprised the children are so wide awake and running around , its not normal to want to go to sleep for the night at 5pm . My 2 year old GC would just about be having her dinner then not getting ready for bed .

Callistemon Wed 18-Aug-21 22:45:49

One thing I have learnt about small children over the years is that they don't go to sleep just because you want them to.

Kryptonite Thu 19-Aug-21 09:49:39

Too early. You could try story tapes/CDs whatever is used now. These were great for lulling my children off to sleep. They still had a story read to them too.

tictacnana Thu 19-Aug-21 10:32:46

The bed time is far too early. I feel quite sorry for them, especially in Summer. My sister’s children had very early bed times so that she and her husband could have quality time together- ( 3 children in 6 years)- and all three were badly behaved at bedtime and beyond. They looked forward to staying with my parents who allowed a more reasonable bedtime with no squabbles .

MoreThanGrand Thu 19-Aug-21 14:58:19

One of the best things I've done as a grandparent was to pay for a sleep consultant when my son and his wife were having trouble getting their children to bed. It took a little while after I introduced the idea for them to take me up on it, but the children were happily going to bed within a few days of the consultation. If that's something your family can afford, you might make the suggestion just by asking them if they'd ever heard of such a thing! Many people haven't, and others think they are just for babies.

wetflannel Thu 19-Aug-21 16:51:35

I agree with many others that is a, ridiculously early bedtime. Their obviously not tired at that time. I don't understand this modern phenomenon of the parents needing"down time' from their kiddies. Sorry but when my grandchildren used to stay over it was Granny's house, Granny's rules. You must be exhausted after that evening routine.

Lucca Thu 19-Aug-21 16:57:35

tickingbird

Dinner at 4pm then in bed at 5pm? Ridiculously early I’m afraid. No wonder they’re running about playing. Even 6pm is too early. What time do they usually get up when they’re at home? It’s quite obvious they aren’t tired.

I’m not sure bedtime is 5.I gather the whole procedure takes two hours so I guess bedtime is nearer 7?

Start later, get it done quicker! And I’m sorry to say this, but stop being ruled by the children !

Rosina Fri 20-Aug-21 09:44:22

That's so early! It must be extra difficult on summer nights, too. Poor children - their evening meal at tea time, as they get home from school, and if they fall asleep at six for nine hours they would be awake at 3 a.m, fully refreshed. They are almost like night workers. Why are their parents doing this? Do the children have no social life in the afternoon like going to the park or library after school?

Lolee Fri 20-Aug-21 23:26:17

Whenever I have two of my grandchildren for regular sleepovers (usually on a Saturday night), I set the rules. They're 7 and 3.5 years old.

If they go to bed later than usual - it's not a problem. If I let them watch movies the next morning with me - it's not a problem. If I don't get them dressed til mid-morning and they stay in their pjs and play - it's not a problem.

They're loved, they're safe, they're happy spending 24 hours with me ? whilst their mum and dad have a well deserved date night.

The same goes when I look after them two/three days/week whilst my daughter and her husband work. I've done this for the last 6 years.

My daughter and son-in-law entrust me to care for my grandchildren as my own. It's a huge honour.

My grandchildren are never badly behaved. They're fun, crazy at times, creative, don't always want to go straight down to sleep, they want to chatter, demand attention ? and love me to bits. It's a wonderful relationship.

The same also applies to two of my other grandchildren. I pick them up and take them on holiday with me - also ages 7 and 3.5 years. During that time I'm in loco parentis.

Luckily my children and I are all on the same page when it comes to parenting.

Carmo1 Tue 24-Aug-21 12:56:28

I’ve just had my two grandsons 3 and 7 staying for 5 nights little one went to bed at 6.45 if he had a busy day when I tried sitting with him for a bit after his story he said don’t worry nanny mum doesn’t sit with me she says goodnight and shuts the door ?

Msida Sat 28-Aug-21 18:59:15

Diner at 4pm bed at 5pm are they for real, and they go off for 2 days at a time!

Sorry please forgive me but it sounds like they can't wait to get rid of them

No wonder they mess about at bedtime for their parents if they are getting sent to bed at 5pm! it is far too early

Please forgive me if you feel that I should keep my opinion to myself