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How would you react

(183 Posts)
SeaNain Tue 31-Aug-21 20:09:29

I should think this funny maybe. And i am not so mad, more embarrassed.
Today, car showroom.
H. (61) and me sit opposite the car sales man.
Attractuve 20 sometbing walks over passing by h, to pass papers to salesman.
H. (loudly) "wow"
Short paause of silence
H. "You can sell me a car anyday".
20 simething shimmers away back to her desk.
Me.( Trying think im not sat there so speechless.)
Sakesman (muttering to desk quuetly)
"she does sell a lot of cars".
Silent pause again..
Salesman (embarrased, trying not to look at both of us but focusses on the computer screen instead)
"now, where were we?"

Now pse tell me girls. I know. Men will be men. Your response would be....

MawBe Tue 31-Aug-21 21:17:43

Oh dear, what a non-event
Embarrassing for all concerned (except OP’s DH I assume)
Out of order at any age, not witty, not amusing, not terribly original either.
There is something very sleazy but also pathetic about a middle-aged man who thinks he is the answer to a maiden’s prayer - think Weinstein, Salmond , Prince Andrew and shudder.
In OP’s place I would be trying to forget it ever happened., but she seems amused by it. confused

SueDonim Tue 31-Aug-21 21:18:00

I’d have walked out and gone home. I’d feel utterly humiliated if my Dh said anything like that. As someone said earlier, your dh is lucky not to have been called out for sexual harassment.

dogsmother Tue 31-Aug-21 21:26:32

Probably I’d have laughed in his face and told him off for turning into a dirty old man.

SeaNain Tue 31-Aug-21 21:29:28

Eviebeanz

Did you speak to your H about it later? What did he say?

Just he meant nothing and was sorry if it embarrassed me. It embarrassed the salesman, whuch was worse i think. He really couldnt look at us after and I made an excuse and sat in the car. And Ive not really spoken to him much since, its second time he has done something like this, I am going to have the 'its 2021" conversation with him if things continue. But to me its an obvious thing, like you just dont do that now. I wrote it like an awful Benny Hill clip, because it felt like that.

crazyH Tue 31-Aug-21 21:29:52

How embarrassing for the OP. Did they buy a car , I wonder ?

SeaNain Tue 31-Aug-21 21:40:46

MawBe

Oh dear, what a non-event
Embarrassing for all concerned (except OP’s DH I assume)
Out of order at any age, not witty, not amusing, not terribly original either.
There is something very sleazy but also pathetic about a middle-aged man who thinks he is the answer to a maiden’s prayer - think Weinstein, Salmond , Prince Andrew and shudder.
In OP’s place I would be trying to forget it ever happened., but she seems amused by it. confused

No far from it. It felt awful. We were all cringing apart from h.
What is even worse he cannot see that. And I truly did not know what to say or even do after, so I left them to it and sat in the car. I am so glad it seems the ladies in here would have been as mortified as me.

PaperMonster Tue 31-Aug-21 21:42:04

Ugh. Just ugh. Your husband definitely needs talking to.

SeaNain Tue 31-Aug-21 21:50:25

M0nica

How about 'Oh for heavens sake, act your age and not your shoes size'.

I would certainly have responded fast and with a put down. it is all you can do to hold your self respect. Once back home all hell would have been let loose.

Yes, it is the self respect. I felt mine writhering away I must admit. It is all i can do. It is the second time now.. I am going to have to make it clear to him people do not like this now. The "wow" was partucularly loud, it was just... Bad. At the time I held my respect by walking away,.. Ugh.
.

SeaNain Tue 31-Aug-21 21:53:19

kittylester

Or any of the boys that post on this site might have an opinion.

Yes. I would like to see what the older men think of it all.

Hithere Tue 31-Aug-21 22:01:13

OP

What your husband did is disgusting, stereptyping,mysoginistic and alomost crossing the line sexual abuse.

How unacceptable!

If you have daughters, would he like them to be treated like a sexual object?

nadateturbe Tue 31-Aug-21 22:11:56

Hithere

OP

What your husband did is disgusting, stereptyping,mysoginistic and alomost crossing the line sexual abuse.

How unacceptable!

If you have daughters, would he like them to be treated like a sexual object?

I don't think it was disgusting. But it was sexist.
But it was silly and embarrassing.
If this is a new thing I would be concerned.

SeaNain Tue 31-Aug-21 22:33:40

Eviebeanz

@SeaNain - is he like this all the time?

More light hearted, the odd to be honest nice, sweet things that people smile at.

Callistemon Tue 31-Aug-21 23:07:25

And I truly did not know what to say or even do after, so I left them to it and sat in the car

Was that a new car or the old one?

MawBe Wed 01-Sept-21 00:03:09

Callistemon

^And I truly did not know what to say or even do after, so I left them to it and sat in the car^

Was that a new car or the old one?

gringrin

Hithere Wed 01-Sept-21 01:43:50

Nadateturbe

"I don't think it was disgusting. But it was sexist.
But it was silly and embarrassing.
If this is a new thing I would be concerned."

It is disgusting to be treated like an object, as if women exist for the gratification of men who do not want to control their impulses

What is even more upsetting us how other women minimize this and even justify it.

I truly hope this unacceptable behaviour gets classified as sexual abuse and penalized as such, instead of being laughed at and "be embarrased"

freedomfromthepast Wed 01-Sept-21 02:13:56

If it had been my husband, I would have dressed him down right then and there. Not acceptable.

I am lucky because my husband has opened his eyes to how women are treated in the world. I think that having 2 daughters helped tremendously. I also point out this type of behavior when I see it so that he is aware what it looks like.

welbeck Wed 01-Sept-21 02:54:51

a person in their twenties is not a girl.

MawBe Wed 01-Sept-21 08:29:43

TBH referring to her as attractive 20 something and saying later attractive 20 something shimmers away back to her desk while the other person is referred to as the salesman ( no age, no details of his personal appearance ) is objectifying the woman for starters.
I’m getting a vibe.

Lucca Wed 01-Sept-21 08:48:35

How do you “shimmer “?

Daisymae Wed 01-Sept-21 08:55:40

I would have walked. This woman is at work and must be treated with respect. Totally inappropriate and it is unacceptable. There's no excuse.

FannyCornforth Wed 01-Sept-21 09:05:57

Lucca

How do you “shimmer “?

It’s a term Wodehouse often used to describe how Jeeves would enter and leave a room.

FannyCornforth Wed 01-Sept-21 09:09:23

Not to be confused with to ‘shimmy’; which is a move I distinctly remember from my disco dancing years (aged c. 7-10 years old). ? ?

lemsip Wed 01-Sept-21 09:21:49

Interesting that one poster says ...... 'a person in their twenties is not a girl.' and another poster says ..'boys will be boys'....

Davida1968 Wed 01-Sept-21 09:28:07

I'm with Sue Donim. With a quick apology to the sales staff, I'd have walked out - and possibly driven away in our car (I always carry car keys). DH would certainly know what I thought!

grumppa Wed 01-Sept-21 09:33:51

Since you have asked, kittylester, let me say that I am disgusted by OP’s DH’s behaviour, as I often am by the antics of my fellow males as reported on Gransnet.

I hope some of us are doing something right, somewhere.