Different family opinions

As a vegetarian of thirty five years. If I am invited by someone for a home cooked meal I always let them know. I am more than happy with a salad. When catering for others I will cook meat. My DH is my chief taster. Thirty years ago it was quite difficult to find vegetarian foodstuff. However the supermarkets are now full of vegan & vegetarian ingredients.
As for their vaccine status. It is their choice. I fear that conversations concerning vaccinations will soon join those of religion and politics. Best avoided in polite company.

No one should try to influence an antivaxxer to vaccinate and no one should try to influence a pro vaccine person not to.

Yes they should, it’s for the common good

The objection to veganism is just daft

We have never brought up any of the above subjects with my grandsons partner and I never would. I always make her feel very welcome. I always try to make sure that I have extra veggies and vegan foods when she comes to visit and When I am watching her little boy I try to be careful with what he eats. The reason the subject came up between my husband and our grandson was because my grandson asked my husband what he thought about the subject. And he would never ever confront her about her beliefs.

Lucca

No one should try to influence an antivaxxer to vaccinate and no one should try to influence a pro vaccine person not to.

Yes they should, it’s for the common good

The objection to veganism is just daft

Meant within immediate family context only where all it achieves is arguments

Vegan And Anti- vaxxer ?
Is it a way DiL feels she has control over her life? Hopefully peer-pressure will help.
Whilst a vegan diet can be healthy, knowledge is also necessary.

I agree in principle with the idea that when you go to someone's house, you eat what you are given. However, not when it comes to expecting a vegan or vegetarian to eat meat, or someone to eat a specific dietary requirement they have let you know about. As a host, you cater for that and serve something vegan, then they can eat that. That shouldn't be an issue.

The vaccination issue is not your business. If you feel worried that it puts you at risk, you can decide whether to have them in your home or not, but that's as far as you get a say.

i was once invited to a birthday party where the meal was lasagne, which i didn't know before i went, as i don't eat meat.
the smell made it obvious and i was trying to raise the issue with the person who had brought me.
i was told i was being silly, as the host always cooked lots of vegetables and i could just eat those. i said, with lasagne ?
well, there were no vegetables just a few leaves that looked like dandelions. i got a v small amount of grated cheese, and i had to ask for that, which was uncomfortable. i was v hungry.
then they served apple pie and custard. i was given a modest portion of that. everyone else was given seconds.
i ought to have made an excuse to leave. it was most odd.

Many posters think that my concern about the non vaccinations are because I am worried about myself, its not that. I am worried about the little boy, his life is already being impacted by his mothers choice, he cant go to regular day care because he is not vaccinated, she is talking about home schooling him because there is a chance he wont be allowed to attend school because he is not vaccinated and with the others i am worried about them catching covid not me, i know it is none of my business but i am their mother/grandmother and I worry. As for the vegan issue, it is problematic for a non vegan household to cater to a vegan, very little in my house is suitable apart from vegetables, I know this, I have taken to reading all the labels and spending ages in the supermarket looking for suitable items. I spent a week scouring shops at ester looking for vegan easter eggs. I do understand my husbands feelings to a certain extent, he is 71 years old and a cooker of meat…roasts, pastas, bbqs, it is what he knows.

welbeck

i was once invited to a birthday party where the meal was lasagne, which i didn't know before i went, as i don't eat meat.
the smell made it obvious and i was trying to raise the issue with the person who had brought me.
i was told i was being silly, as the host always cooked lots of vegetables and i could just eat those. i said, with lasagne ?
well, there were no vegetables just a few leaves that looked like dandelions. i got a v small amount of grated cheese, and i had to ask for that, which was uncomfortable. i was v hungry.
then they served apple pie and custard. i was given a modest portion of that. everyone else was given seconds.
i ought to have made an excuse to leave. it was most odd.

Did you tell them you were vegetarian ahead of time? I assume you did. In that case it's rude for them not to cater for you.

Kartush, you can be concerned but you'll need to find a way to deal with it quietly. This is a parental decision.

I imagine it could be challenging to cook for vegan people if you don't have a lot of experience with it. Look up some vegan recipes online. There's a lot you can do and substitutions you can look up. If the ingredients call for things like legumes then you can get these in cans rather than having to cook them all up from scratch. Here's one idea and it's what I've just eaten: sweet potato noodles with vegan basil pesto and nutritional yeast (a great cheese substitute). With a side salad, that could be a meal.

which country are you in, OP.
i find even in small shops, there is more and more vegan items now.
and they are clearly labelled, with a logo, suitable for vegans.
what about falafel, hummous with pita bread and slices of peppers, 5 bean salad, jacket potato with baked beans, various dips, vegetable curry with rice, moroccan cous-cous, etc.
that's just off the top of my head, and i'm not even a vegan, nor a cook.
as others have said, why not ask the person concerned what they would like, or to bring something and have a cook-in.
expand your/ DH's repetoire and have some fun learning.

i sympathise with your feelings about the unvaccinated child.
definitely puts him at a disadvantage, in my view.
but nothing you can do, unfortunately.
what about his father; does he have the same views, or doesn't he care ?
i have read of cases where parents in dispute over such matters have had to go to law, which nearly always goes with the approved medical action.

Kartush I found some interesting vegan cookies and chocolates on Amazon, my son was delighted with them ?

I'm vegan and I cook for the carnivores and veggies too. It doesn't 'divide' the family in any way. We choose to eat what we prefer. If I'm invited to a gathering, I do tend to take a vegan dish along, though, just in case. It's a minor inconvenience, and I certainly wouldn't expect to just eat what I'm given. I'd like to choose!

The vaccination issue I find far more serious. I'm always aware of the risk of catching and passing on the virus. The consequences would be far worse for those with no immunity.

I know a family who are all anti-vaccination. I've asked why several times - and I've yet to get any reasonable explanation, just paranoid fear of 'government control' and imagined future disability. They like to feel special, superior even, and think the rest of us are idiots - and sheep.

I think that, underlying their 'beliefs' - is a genuine fear of the unknown and the needle. I've given up discussing and agreed to disagree. However, they're not invited over now. We meet outdoors. I don't want to be the one who, asymptomatically infected, passes it on - and somebody dies.

If I was asking anyone to my home for a meal, I would respect their wishes. It’s hard to accept that some people will not have the vaccine, but it’s their choice, if you don’t want to mix, don’t.
I have been fully vaccinated, will have all that’s going, but I did have a very bad reaction to it.

One of my daughters was a vegan for 25 years and we always used to buy and cook special food for her. She now eats certain meats and fish so it is easier to just all have the same food now. As for the anti Vaxx stuff these people really irritate me but ,in the interest of harmony, I would just keep quiet. Hope they don’t expect sympathy when they get sick, though.

If he cooks pasta then a vegan tomato sauce is the easiest thing out. Chuck chopped courgettes, onions, leeks, peppers in a large lidded pan with a pound of cherry tomatoes, (or 3 tins chopped tomatoes) a squirt of tomato paste, couple of chopped garlic cloves (or paste) , 2 tablespoons olive oil, basil and any other herbs you fancy. Bring to boil, turn down to low heat and simmer covered for anything up to 90 minutes until tomatoes have broken down. Add chopped spinach at end and a pack of ready cooked lentils if you like them. Serve with pasta anyway you like. Grated cheese available for non vegans. Or chicken or salmon pieces baked in oven, for meat eaters to add to their sauce on their plate. It honestly isn't difficult to do this type of "hybrid" meal, just seems scary if one has never done it. I have been doing it for years so happy to give more ideas if you want them

welbeck

i sympathise with your feelings about the unvaccinated child.
definitely puts him at a disadvantage, in my view.
but nothing you can do, unfortunately.
what about his father; does he have the same views, or doesn't he care ?
i have read of cases where parents in dispute over such matters have had to go to law, which nearly always goes with the approved medical action.

I do not know the childs father. My grandson (his mothers partner) is not anti vax and his own son ( our great grandson)is fully vaccinated, but he does not interfere in what she does with her own son if that makes sense.

Thank you all so much for taking time to read and comment on this, you have given me alot of things to think about

Wellbeck I am in Australia in a coastal town, our Supermarket does not have a gigantic range of vegan food, vegitarian yes but vegan is harder.

A plant-based is not difficult. Quite the contrary. It is the easiest diet one can eat. Carnivornes often see it as difficult because they feel they have to replicate their own preferred plates but without meat or other animal products.

All you need is fresh fruit and vegetables. Rice, grains, pulses. Herbs and spices. Cumin, chili and turmeric are incredibly versatile. Oil for cooking and dressing. Some thickening agent, maybe reduced tomatoes or chickpea (gram) flour if wheat is problematic. There is no need for highly-processed and overly-packaged foods at all.

There is a huge range of plant-based cookbooks out there. Indian cuisine, especially, is a good source of inspiration. A little oil, fry off cumin seeds and chili, throw in whatever vegetables you have to hand, some reduced tomato to thicken. Let it cook down and you have a delicious curry in no time.

I totally agree. Why anyone thinks they can know more than the experts is beyond me. Also, if the vaccine were that dangerous, all those who've had it would have died by now! Logic.

I am not sure why you felt bad about asking your husband to be polite to guests? I am unshakeably pro vax but I'd feel more sympathy for someone who has reasons, even misguided ones, for being against it than people who are too lazy (are you sure this is the reason?)

good grief ageing men can be such hard work. full of old fashioned ideas that were acceptable when they were growing up but no longer are. Stubborn enough to believe the only right way is their way and won't bend from that at all.
Mine can come out with some very racist/bigoted comments at times and it can be quite embarrassing.
Everybody has their own beliefs and people must appreciate that and accept being different makes the world go round.
I like the idea of you making a simple vegan meal for her, so many options these days.
Would be a shame to alienate them especially if they go on to have more children and you miss out on watching them grow up.

It's really nothing to do with you so I wouldn't discuss it with her or him.
I'm totally against antivaxers and feel very sorry for their children.
I caught measles as a child and had eye surgery as a result. A girl I looked after also caught measles which affected her spleen and kidneys. She's had a lifetime of problems from it. Also a friend has a permanent limp from polio as a child, before vaccine was available. These antivaxers promote so much rubbish and conspiracy theories before they or their children are affected by these diseases. Then it's too late.
Vegan diets are ok but vitamin supplements are needed as I've read it doesn't contain everything to sustain good health