What would you think if you received this?

Uptight! I’d leave it a month and leave them to ask when I’m coming. CF’s.

That would be fine with me. They’re absolutely right about the hygiene rules and perfectly entitled to want a bit if rest and bonding time after the birth of their first child. Grandmas can be very over whelming and excited, especially when it’s the first grandchild.
Just give them a bit of space, they’ll thank you for it.

Goodness me - I feel sorry for the child - what a ridiculous palaver. Just shows the danger of texts for everyone- the worst of social media - All those awful hearts - If I’d received something like this from any of my children I think we’d all have had a good laugh about it - It’s a bit bonkers- wait till she has a few more children ?? - she must be thoroughly ‘Covidised’ - don’t suppose it’ll last too long however!

I see my view is likely to be at odds with the majority but I have every sympathy with this young mother. DH and I planned not to have children when we married in 1971 - after 4 years as a couple - because we found the world to scary to bring a child into even then. We went on to have 2 children having failed to take into account the biological drive(!). Over the past 2 years we have often discussed how much more scary things are now than even during the Cold War of the 60's and 70's and how very scary it must be to be pregnant nowadays especially during a pandemic. I would absolutely be asking people to stay away for the first 2 weeks - which BTW my own parent CHOSE to do to give us time to recover from the birth. I have no issue with the manner or the tone of this young mum to be's request either.

I had this type of message when my very first grand child was to be born, I was absolutely gutted, I couldn’t believe I had to wait all that time at a given appointment, I have never forgotten the feelings. Since then my relationship with my son and d-I-l deteriorated bc they didn’t want me to have a relationship with them and their children. So so sad.
Thank fully I have now 6 other grandchildren whom I have beautiful happy memories and relationship, so I am very lucky. So sorry for your friend.

It's a ridiculous note - particularly the last bit about making coffees! Do they think their parents never had children?
Frankly they sound hideous people.

All they had to say is we are waiting 2 weeks before having any visitors and then when visitors came, talk to them!

This is the sort of thing they’re told to do now. Very protective. To be honest I wish I’d done this when I had my babies, too many exhausting visitors.

To be honest I think it is very reasonable, hard to receive I agree, but if this is their first baby they need space and time to rest without visitors, phone calls, messaging etc until they feel ready. The parents, mum to be especially, may be very anxious, and respecting this will really help her. Please don't take it personally. This type of "instruction to others" is often discussed in antenatal classes and by midwives etc to protect the mum, not to cause family disharmony. If all goes well with the birth then you may find they welcome help, meals etc, laundry but only if and when asked. Give them time, this doesn't mean they don't love and value you.

I fully understand the things in the letter, about covid safety etc. But if my daughter did not speak to me in person or at least on the phone about these plans, and just wrote me a "list of rules" like that, I'd be appalled and very hurt indeed!

Just remember to instill your own rules when they need a babysitter!

I would be very annoyed if I got sent that message from my daughter.
If I was sent it as a friend, I would have just thought they're being precious, and probably wouldn't bother going over!
I get the 'my baby my rules' thing, but honestly!

Fine if you are a friend or a distant relative, but a bit stuffy and starchy for close family!
Quite honestly, I feel sorry for the couple - they obviously have no idea how much help and support your parents and in laws can be !
I wish I had had the choice at that time - my parents were the other side of the world, my in laws worked full time and my now ex husband was telling everyone that offered help that I was fine and didn't need help with the ironing, cleaning the windows, gardening etc ! Without a wonderful health visitor, I wouldn't have got through the first year as my husband was as much use as a chocolate radiator!
While I can understand the washing hands etc etc but I just hope that at some point in the future when the baby hasn't slept all night, the sink is full of dirty dishes etc and the parents are exhausted, they may regret sending out such a cold message!

The requests seem reasonable to me. If I was the new mum’s mother I would have preferred a phone call. But at least everyone is treated the same. Maybe the method of communication is pretty standard for that age group.

My Son and DIL are expecting their first. my first GC in 8 weeks. I think I would be quite upset not to see the new baby, but I would respect the ' no kissing, being covid aware (I am anyway), testing and washing hands. MIL and myself have already said we would keep away from their house over the Xmas period but I would still be hoping for a peep.

I would certainly not have wanted to divert to go via grandparents, a 28 hour labour, stitches, agony sitting in a car, bleeding heavily, I couldn’t wait to get home and try and get comfortable. Have women really forgotten just how sore you can be. Plus trying to establish breastfeeding when you get home. Not every daughter has the sort of relationship with parents where they are happy to try and feed in front of them.
This sounds like they tried to have a reasonable discussion with the grandma to be and were ignored, hence the message setting it out.
Six months ago my sister was asked to wait until near the end of paternity leave to go and meet her new granddaughter so that the new parents could attempt to get to grips with the huge change in their lives. She was more than happy to comply with their wishes and has now got a fantastic relationship with her dil and her granddaughter and is frequently both visited and invited to stay. A little compassion now will pay dividends in the future.

Oh FGS, you’d think they were the first couple to have a baby. My granddaughter was born at 31 weeks and my Dh and I saw her within hours of her birth in her little incubator. I understand the hygiene rules around covid but as has been said, do they think they are royalty. Wait until they want gran/nana to do the childminding with all the bugs a toddler transfers. I’d be setting out my rules then.

Well said. I’m astounded at some of the remarks on these posts. It’s not about the Grandmas!

My son and his partner are expecting their first baby after Xmas, not only have we discussed all the eventuallys around covid but have put some rules and restrictions in place. The way I look at it, I love my family, I can hear you all shout so do I, how would you feel if you unwittingly brought an unpredictable illness into there household, you have to respect what they ask in these strange times

Nobody should kiss anyone's baby even without a pandemic it's dangerous. I think they are absolutely correct. The health of that baby is their priority. No 2nd chances for little ones.

Shouldn't have been sent to grandparents. Too harsh. Maybe let grandparents know by speaking to them some of the wishes and other friends can see the new baby later.

But the difference is we are in the middle of a pandemic! The old order of things has gone out of the window. We have to accept that . Granny could be carrying Covid unknown to herself, and how would she feel if she passed it on? Devastated. The tone of the letter is a bit weird but I agree with the idea. And I’ve been in the same situation, as my grandaughter was born only last year and I know my son and DIL felt the same way.

Having had a new GS several weeks ago - l to had to go with these type of rules - my DD has been so frightened by the midwife team - particularly about something called RVS Respiratory syncytial virus - a mild cold like virus which has always been around but causes new babies in particular potential hospitalisation. It’s the times we live in unfortunately. Having said all that - l do think your friend’s daughter could of been a little more diplomatic and softened or explained her worries better. Hopefully the upset will all be forgotten in a few days and the new GC will bring much joy & delight?

I don’t see anything wrong with it. I think COVID has changed the rules a lot. And I think it is very sensible of them to ask for a few days grace so that they can have some time together before everyone descends on them. I must admit when my first arrived we asked for a few days grace before visitors arrived.

Give it a month or two and they will be begging for your support
All a bit too touchy when first is born

Nice will probably change her mind when baby is born.