What would you think if you received this?

Suzey

Just remember to instill your own rules when they need a babysitter!

Yes! Sorry busy resting would be my reply to any request.

Is this the first baby that was ever born in the whole world? Sugaring the pill by adding hearts and smileys doesn't hide the fact that there is a lot of snark in that letter. I wonder whether they expect granny to babysit at the drop of a hat, later?

My DIL would have loved for us to receive something like this. That could be why she is an ex-DIL

Meant niece not nice.

I completely understand where the new parents are coming from but as the Grandma I think I would be quite upset at having to wait two weeks to see my new grandchild. I would definitely follow the rules which I would have done anyway without being asked but would like to have received my invitation to visit very soon after the baby had been born. The first time we saw our new grandaughter and her 4 year old brother we were ordered by our DIL to shower and change our clothes before touching them as we had just flown into Australia from the UK

I think I would be very upset as well.I’m sure in a very short while the new parents will be l

I'd be gutted ?

Josianne I agree!! - - a few sleepless nights and worrying about feeding etc. etc. and Mum's opinion and help might be needed! for 2old4this - lie low and let it be for now.

Mmmm! Very efficient I must say ! Reminds me of my daughter the Social Worker ! ?...

Ha - that was my thought as well Tanjamanaltija

It’s all very precious isn’t it - even though a lot of the ‘rules’ are sensible (so don’t need to be spelled out). The refusing to see anyone at all for 2 weeks just seems ridiculous but I think I would have to shrug and leave them to it and get over my annoyance by rolling my eyes and complaining to my friends.

Suspect they’ll be desperate for someone to help when number 2 is born

OMG.....
Im heartbroken for your sister.
..... little apples.....?

What shocks me most is that anyone, grandmother-to-be or not would object to these eminently sensible rules.

As I remember we all insisted that no-one with a cough or cold visited a new-born infant and that everyone washed their hands before touching the child!

I clearly remember my little sister's godmother coming directly from her work one day and when my mother offered to let her hold the baby, auntie replied, "Oh no, dear, these are my shop clothes, - there could be all manner of germs on them!"

As to the sending of a message instead of discussing it with her mother, I imagine the expectant mother knew her mother would make a fuss, so decided to send the same text message to everyone.

Times change - the young use texting as our generation and our parents' used phone calls. Perhaps my grandparents would have preferred a letter through the post announcing my arrival rather than the phone calls they got?

Hard, but good self care for new parents

Love it, exactly my sentiments.

GraceQuirrel

Suzey

Just remember to instill your own rules when they need a babysitter!

Yes! Sorry busy resting would be my reply to any request.

My advice would be "Don't grumble away your opportunities".

If the request to babysit is turned down without some good reason such as a health problem then babysitting might be sought elsewhere, and the request never made again.

So the person retaliating for a moment of getting back at her may lose out on years of happiness.

Before getting stroppy just remember that it could be a pivotal moment when looking back years later and wondering why there is estrangement and distress at lost opportunities when just not being stroppy and indignant at that pivotal moment could have made all the difference.

Many people accidently say the wrong thing at some time, but doing it deliberately is at another level.

It sounds like your sister has overstepped the mark for goodness sake give them some time to at least get home. She sounds the type that will never be away. When I originally read it I thought it was over the top but after reading the further explanation completely agree with your niece.

I think grandparents should be allowed to visit sooner, even only for a short time. Grandparents like myself are always happy to offer help even bring a premade meal to be left for the parents to heat up later. I can understand the new parents not wanting to be overwhelmed with visitors, especially with COVID. No doubt these new parents will decide they do want visitors and want to show off their baby and will relax the rules.

Cutting and copying the text from
the mum to be, into this thread, makes it very identifiable. If she and the dad find out what has been said it could possible lead to difficulties after baby has been born. Sounds like this first time mum to be is very anxious and needs lots of love, support and reassurance . My advice would be to remove the post and enjoy the status of granny/auntie to be and when the time comes to meet baby enjoy and savour every moment.

As someone else said … smile and nod, then be there if needed. It’s not about the grandmother. The mother-to-be is hormonal and tired so be understanding and stop making a fuss. Good for them for making things clear. Things may change and so it’s best to keep relationships happy. It may be that the mother-to-be feels her own mother is likely to be too interfering so is trying to nip that in the bud. Smile and go with the flow.

Too precious by far.

I think we just have to accept that times have changed and new parents now operate on a different dimension.

Whilst I can understand her 'rules' - they all make sense - the message is rather contrived and, as others have said - "precious".

I also understand her need to establish a routine for the "baby girl" but I rather think she'll find that it won't work like a spreadsheet - she'll be coping with the unexpected and disruptions to her routine.

I think it's the last sentence that got me... why couldn't she simply wait for a visit to just tell the visitor kindly, would you mind making yourself a coffee/tea, and one for me while your about it?!

I think it's the tone of the message that's the problem, not the request itself.

Rules are fine but to receive a round robin list of instructions like this seems, on the face of it, out of order. I can well understand why your sister is upset.
BUT we don’t have enough information as to why DD felt this necessary. Fact MIL is ‘fine’ about it is irrelevant- she’s wisely going to make sure she doesn’t rock the boat with a DIL.
But perhaps DD has not been able to get through to her mother in the past about certain behaviours/expectations and feels it’s necessary to set out some clear boundaries going forward and unfortunately this is the only way she feels comfortable doing it?
Obviously grandma is just going to have to swallow this with good grace if she wants a relationship going forward. It’s reasonable to be upset but she should keep this to herself and as a sibling I’d be wary of judging your niece too harshly when we don’t know all the circumstances that have led to this. After all if the grandma has been difficult and overbearing in the past she’s hardly likely to admit now!

I think this is unfair,I saw my granddaughter the day she was born.

Tutumuch

Cutting and copying the text from
the mum to be, into this thread, makes it very identifiable. If she and the dad find out what has been said it could possible lead to difficulties after baby has been born. Sounds like this first time mum to be is very anxious and needs lots of love, support and reassurance . My advice would be to remove the post and enjoy the status of granny/auntie to be and when the time comes to meet baby enjoy and savour every moment.

Yes.

How about if we all report the thread to GNHQ and ask for the thread to be totally deleted to protect the future for them all.

Ok...try not to stress too badly! My niece did the same thing to my sister. This is her first GC, too. My sister freaked about the tight restrictions. I told my sister to relax because my niece has "first child syndrome!" I told her I fully anticipated my niece to relax after the baby got here and they realized she is not a breakable china doll! By day 3, the whole fam was smothering that baby with kisses and passing her around like she was a plate of freshly baked cookies! Hahaha.... Also, I mentioned by baby #2, you'll probably be the one in the delivery room cutting the cord and holding him/her first! New mamas get awfully stressed because they just don't know what to anticipate. Give her the moment to ponder and stress and realize the ridiculousness of it all on her own terms so you don't have a rift in the relationship later. It's just about her trying to establish boundaries at this point. That stuff is recommended on mom groups all over the internet! Maybe one of those groups got into her head. It'll be ok.