What would you think if you received this?

I would of been upset getting this off my daughter can’t she speak to her mum face to face rather than be included in a round robin.

Oh dear, it's a shame to start off this new phase like this. Eight weeks to go to just be supportive and not mention the message and wait and see. Two weeks to let them get into a routine ? and they'll be ready to let you in with open arms no doubt!
There's a lot to being a gran and zipping it is a big part. Missing the first two weeks or more is really nothing in the scheme of things ...... as many grannies know during covid.
And doesn't everyone wash their hands before handling someone elses tiny baby?
Yes the hearts & a message (especially the ?) looks heartless but tbh they sound terrified new parents

I think it’s their baby and their rules. All sounds sensible to me.
Our nephew and wife when they had their first daughter no one was allowed to visit for a month. They were exhausted . When their second daughter was born our nephews parents were invited the next day?

Honestlysome of these reactions!!
It's clear to everyone what they expect. It's only 2 weeks.
When I had my first you spent 1 week in hospital. Only father and close family allowed to visit.No one except mum and dad permitted to hold the baby or pick him up.
When my mother had hers, mother and baby stayed home and did not visit or receive visitors until after the mother had been "churched".
Times change and looking after babies changes. It isn't intended to hurt anyone but to do what's best for the child. Surely what any parent would want.

May I ask what "churched" mean?

If one of my daughters had sent this to me I would of been so upset. Covid or no Covid. Your first GC is the most precious thing in the world and there is no way I would wait 2 weeks to meet them. I met all four of mine the day they were born I couldn’t wait to meet them but also check my daughters were well and give them a hug from mum.

When my mother had hers, mother and baby stayed home and did not visit or receive visitors until after the mother had been "churched".

When I had DC1 my mother was surprised that I did not go to get churched.

We waited just over a week with our first for visitors, pre-planned and I don’t regret it, nor did I need to call any grandparents whilst I was sobbing on my knees. I wish we would have waited a little bit longer because I was quite poorly from birth (I had a bit haemorrhage), and just wanted to focus on my baby, breastfeeding well, and my recovery. My husband didn’t want to spend his short paternity leave passing his baby to relatives either. It worked well for us, and I would absolutely support anyone in having no visitors for a while after birth. Adding covid into the mix makes these precautions even more sensible.

Any intrusiveness as this stage, would have made me push back further.

I'd have been Appalled to receive this. Regardless of the requirements being common sense.

I'd certainly have been worried about the state my daughter must be in to send a message like that, which would have held me back from replying with "Rules for welcoming visitors", including, Remember that some of them may have had babies themselves, and ending with They may be kind enough to offer to make coffee, make sure that the wherewithal is easy to find.
Really!

Hithere

It comes from an ancient church tradition. Women received a blessing from the priest prior to childbirth, and also afterwards. IIRC, the latter was usually given the first time the mother and baby attended church after the baby was born.

Back in those days, childbirth was of course very dangerous, and women were sometimes kept in seclusion for days or even weeks prior to, and following, the birth of their babies.

I had this but with 10 days with my first and only grandchild so far. I was told gently over the phone by my son though.
My first neice is 53 and I was 14 when she was born. We all, my mum, dad myself and younger brother trooped over to the hospital and saw her through the glass from the corridor. I fell in love instantly and did same with the following seven! I dont really remember my big sister, her mum, but the baby made a huge impact. Things were very different then. You stayed in hospital for 10 days with a first. I imagined this would happen when I became a granny.
It seems to be common now to keep visitors at bay and I can understand it to a degree. I would have loved to have helped, but they are adults and it's there life. I was disappointed but they let the parents visit on day 7 as baby was poorly and they were stressed enough from the emergency c section and DIL definitely needed her family and I think my son did too. Looking back I think they put a very brave face on it, but I could have done all the housework and they could have rested but then they would not have had their baby "cocoon". Swings and roundabouts I guess. Meeting my grandchild at 7 days was amazing, couldnt believe the love I had for her and it's still growing.

Hithere

Communication involves talking, listening, understanding what the message is and think now to proceed based on that message

This mother is clearly not listening when she pulled the "but I am your mom" card

Exactly

Anyone who thinks the grandma wouldn’t also try to invite them in/hold baby/ guilt them after they do stop by for a “peek”, hasn’t dealt with someone unreasonable enough to guilt an adult setting a reasonable boundary after a medical event with “but I’m your mum”.

GraceQuirrel

Uptight! I’d leave it a month and leave them to ask when I’m coming. CF’s.

How are they CFs??

They’ve not asked for anything?

Does CF stand for what I think it stands for?

I think she has to respect their rules etc and let them do it their way however when they eventually ask for her help point out how upset she was by this message and that they should not take her help for granted in the future.

Wow! At last some sensible parents!
I'd be really pleased to hear were getting a sneak peak facetime and would appreciate their candour and fairness. Having had a DS putting up with his MiL every time(3) staying with them from before day one to day 15 ruining their bonding timesz I think your mate should be honoured to be so well informed. Why do GPs feel they have a "right" to see GKs on demand?

The rules are patronising and precious. This woman brought up a family so if it were me I would be VERY offended.

I would be hurt and shocked. The new mother may change her mind when she needs help in a few days. My Mum would have told me to stop being ridiculous and grow up but i wouldn't have dared to send her such a note.

Hithere

May I ask what "churched" mean?

There's an explanation of the tradition in Wiki en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Churching_of_women
The baby was also not allowed to be taken on visits or to another house until after it had been christened.

Thanks agnurse

And trisher

I thought churching was a blessing given to the mother after giving birth. A bit outdated now but growing up as a catholic most women were “churched” before taking baby out for visits

Tracy240

If one of my daughters had sent this to me I would of been so upset. Covid or no Covid. Your first GC is the most precious thing in the world and there is no way I would wait 2 weeks to meet them. I met all four of mine the day they were born I couldn’t wait to meet them but also check my daughters were well and give them a hug from mum.

The child is more precious to the parents than as a grandchild though.

Surely you would want to support them in keeping their precious child and your precious grandchild safe?

I can totally understand they are being precious about their little baby and are perfectly correct about her immune system etc. They are brave to lay out their rules and their expectations and I salute them for doing so. I remember feeling very feint when I was making cups of tea for early visitors to my second child and saw stars in kitchen. My midwife told me off and said it should be the visitors making me cups of tea instead. The visitor was my own mother. I think the new parents are being very sensible and I would not be put out at all, especially as there are plenty of ways of seeing the baby now with FaceTime, zoom etc without risking infections.

f77ms

I would be hurt and shocked. The new mother may change her mind when she needs help in a few days. My Mum would have told me to stop being ridiculous and grow up but i wouldn't have dared to send her such a note.

If my mother had told me to stop being ridiculous and grow up about any of my rules about my own child she would have been waiting quite some time for an apology for what I would say to that.