What would you think if you received this?

Bibbity

"do hope this baby meets their expectations.
Having met a couple or three very earnest young parents, they can be quite discombobulated when their babies don't conform to their plans."

What an absolutely ridiculous statement. I do hope you didn't pull a muscle with that stretch.

It's not at all ridiculous.
It is perfectly true.

Calistemon

Good idea, Flaxseed - I wish I'd been able to help my DD do the same and so did she in the end.

Here is a lesson for your DD in how not to word it

You know when I think about it….if they are wanting two weeks on their own , which is fine and totally up to them, why not just say “Hey everybody just to let you know we plan to spend a couple of weeks just the three of us getting to know each other after baby is born, and of course we’ll be in touch with photos etc “. The other no kissing no coffee etc rules could have been mentioned when they actually invited visitors.

No it's absolute ridiculous.
Where did they mention their parenting?
Where does it mention how they plan to raise their child?

Let's just be clear here. All we know is that after a baby exists her body a woman wants to go home and recover in peace.

That's it.

And yet here are comments about how she will fail as a mother basically.

And yes almost every new parent is shocked at how hard parenting is. Nothing prepares you for the reality of it.
That's not a bad thing! But these generations are sure as hell doing a better job than previous ones.

How many hear hit your children? Assaulted them. How many put them in cots and left them to cry. How many put them on feeding schedules and started solids early?

That sounds relaxed and friendly, Lucca

Without all the sickly, insincere ??❤??

Oh dear, Bibbity
I think you need to address some imagined issues you seem to have with our generation.

One wonders why a young mum would want to join a forum for older people if you apparently despise us so much?
Just why?

How many hear hit your children? Assaulted them. How many put them in cots and left them to cry. How many put them on feeding schedules and started solids early?

I have no issues. But yet here are posters sneering at a woman who just wants to go home with her newborn. Making judgments on who she will be and how she will cope as a mother. It's hilarious. And again people wonder how they end up distanced or estranged.

Entertainment.

I believe you have posted about your issues Bibbity and I'm sorry if you have problems

But do not project them on to me and others on here.

Totally agree bibbity and lucca

I hope the friends and family support this young couples decision.

I think people are overly focused on the delivery when it's the message that matters.

I remember my mum calling me in a state because a doctor had told her a condition she has is heredetary and she would need to tell her children.

She was so angry at how this message was delivered in such an "abrupt and flippant way" that she didn't even notice that ranting at me about how she was told was how she told me that her condition was heredetary and I needed to be checked out.

Entertainment.

So you, as a young person, join a forum for older people to snigger and goad for your own entertainment.

Sorry, but I find that distinctly odd if not rather sinister.

I am not projecting and I honestly have no issues.

Let's say it again. This woman wants to go home after a baby has either gone through her vagina or had major abdominal surgery.
And posters are saying she is wrong. And that she will have ridiculous expectations for her child. Why? How are the two connected?

How can people judge her for this when it is in the best interests of her and the baby?

How does the OPs sisters selfish want even come close to trumping their needs. I honestly have not seen one poster explain this without managing to oozing narcism and selfishness.

Calistemon

^Entertainment^.

So you, as a young person, join a forum for older people to snigger and goad for your own entertainment.

Sorry, but I find that distinctly odd if not rather sinister.

Bit of a leap there. I engage in many of the threads over many topics. I am here for entertainment. Why are you here?

I am not sneering nor sniggering. I do find some responses hilarious but so do others. I have just as much right to be here as you.

Flaxseed

Totally agree bibbity and lucca

I hope the friends and family support this young couples decision.

Flaxseed
I have no issue with the message as I said to you earlier - it is the way it was delivered.

The other point I was making was in answer to another poster about birthing plans and childcare plans.
Babies don't generally come with a rule book.

Calistemon

^Entertainment^.

So you, as a young person, join a forum for older people to snigger and goad for your own entertainment.

Sorry, but I find that distinctly odd if not rather sinister.

Totally agree, very odd.

No but this plan is what many young mothers are implementing. And with great success and much happiness. Due to social media many young parents now turn to their peers and those who are recent parents then to their mothers and grandmothers. Especially when many have not kept up with current advice and do not like being told that what they are suggesting is wrong.

All those saying she will regret it do not understand that it is working for a lot of young women. And this is not a bad thing.

I know many young mothers who loved delivering on lockdown for the sole reason that they were left alone.

Babies do come with a rule book. It's whatever the guidelines are at the time for keeping babies safe.

Currently midwives are advising a 2 week recovery period at home for new mums, covid safety measures and the no kissing because a simple cold sore can end a newborns life.

Lots of rules being explained to new mums during their pregnancy journeys and some are even written in books.

I have just as much right to be here as you.

Of course you have.

I could go on a forum for teenagers if I wanted to and make remarks about them and what they do.
I just wouldn't.

You said:
How many hear hit your children? Assaulted them. How many put them in cots and left them to cry. How many put them on feeding schedules and started solids early?

Rude, unnecessary and setting the generations against each other Bibbity.

Assaulted them? Where did that come from?
Was that your experience?
I am so sorry if it was.

Parents still do those things now, too, sadly.

Well said, Bibbity.

Smacking a child is assault. Luckily younger generations are learning the horrific damage such abuse creates.

Now posters here are sneering and judging this mother and others like her for implementing newer modern approaches to birth, recovery and motherhood.

So how am I putting the generations against each other but they are not?

Sorry but exactly what age does one qualify as a gran? A friend of mine was a gran at 36. I started my parenting journey almost 10 years later and have AC. I qualify for being on gransnet.

Why does agreeing with new mums rules make people not old enough to be here?

Younger grans are taking over lol

bibbity what annoys me is when I see comments that say "I was smacked as a child and I'm fine"

No you aren't fine. You advocate for physically abusing children.

Exactly. We accept that generations before were told wrong information. Some relationships are ruined due to it and that's unfortunate. You know better you do better.

Which is what The new mother is doing.
We have learnt that a mother being left alone is better.
Breastfeeding rates went up during lockdown. Many believe it's because mother and baby were left alone.
I also read something that PND also fell but I haven't seen a source for that.

She is doing what she has been advised by those who know better.

That message is a copy and paste! It's been doing the rounds on the mum groups! It crops up constantly! Emojis and all!

"every holiday" happens with this friend of mine but TBH her D is just as 'attached' to her as she is to her D Lucca.

Your post this morning at 10.02, now that's the way to do it, no need for a list of do's and don'ts, just a simple message of what the plans are, preferably given verbally.

Sniggering and goading for one's own entertainment sums it up Calistemon neither helpful nor constructive add rather distasteful that someone could find the prospect of someone being distanced or estranged entertaining.

And of course we have narcissism thrown in for good measure.

Bibbity

"do hope this baby meets their expectations.
Having met a couple or three very earnest young parents, they can be quite discombobulated when their babies don't conform to their plans."

What an absolutely ridiculous statement. I do hope you didn't pull a muscle with that stretch.

I don’t know about ‘ridiculous’. I’ve heard of prospective new parents who confidently state that their baby will have to fit in with their lifestyles, and will make very little day to day difference. ??