What would you think if you received this?

Under the circumstances with covid still rife I would say I think the parents are being really sensible, albeit they may seem over the top to family and friends. Due to unforseen circumstances I couldnt see or hold my first grandson for the first 3 months of his life! I did get loads of photos though.

2old4this

This is in fact my niece writing to her mother, my sister.
My sister spoke to daughter inviting them to stop off on the way back from hospital so that she could meet baby, she was told firmly no, they would not call in, despite my sisters house being en route home. Even if they just stopped the car so that my sister could have a peek. No. She then received this message, and sister phoned daughter again to say 'but I'm your mum......" only to be told that the other grandma didn't have a problem, the answer is still No! I'm deeply annoyed with my niece. The baby is due in 8 weeks

Sorry but expecting a new mum and baby to drop in on the way home from hospital is a bit much. Most new mums just want to go home, not visiting on the way. Certainly should be more cautious now.
Other than that the note is rude and condescending. Mums today think they’re the only one who have had children. Just wait til they want a babysitter.

When DS was born we had him entirely to ourselves. Both new grandmothers were teachers and had to get back to work. So it was a quick visit in hospital from my parents as they drove and had a car, and DH's parents didn't drive so didn't see DS until I felt well enough to travel after a long difficult labour, which was about a fortnight. Both sets lived 60 miles from us in different directions.

Second time round, my DM drove round to take over as soon as labour started as she was, then, retired. She stayed a week.

I didn't have to wait at all.
I cut the umbilical cord when my youngest grandson was born (thanks, daughter - it was revolting!)

If I had received this I would have shrugged but complied. I think Covid has made many of us ultra anxious\sensitive understandably. I wouldn't have taken offence at the symbols because I don't understand most of them anyway. At my first visit, I would possibly have had a coffee flask secreted about me just in case. I also think I would have indulged in a supplementary telephone call to reassure my child that I would be utterly compliant. Wimp eh? Not how I see it.

Nineteen years ago DD and DSiL decided that they would like time to bond after getting home from hospital, which sounded perfectly sensible. After 48 hours I got an urgent summons to go and pick up the domestic reins and was there for ten days. Many bouquets were taken in and hospitality provided for visiting friends, meals cooked and washing machine loaded. My reward was to give DGD1 her first bath and lots of pram pushing while parents caught up on sleep.

2old4this are you not concerned that this thread might be picked up by a newspaper? I think that I would be, lots of identifying info.

Oh dear. Lovely young couple, waiting their first baby and trying, so desperately hard to be very organised. Probably doomed for disaster. In a way it is quite amusing.

So often it is those who are far too organised that end up having problems with enternally crying baby, etc. Back when my were small, my next door neighbour had her first child, so organised spent the last months preparing loads of meals for the freezer. When the midwife saw that at six months pregnant they had already insgtalled n their car devices for securing carrycot (as it was back then) she got really concerned. All went out of window when baby arrived, Mum was so tense with doing everything right, that baby picked up on it and cried day and night. Midwive was also concerned at how tidy the house with a new baby init still was.
I would not be upset with this message, would put aside carefully, and in years to come whole family can have a good laugh about it.
I do think the last line about making tea/coffee etc is relevant. I always used to advice friends becoming g.parents to offer to do things like shopping, washing, ironing for new parents, NOT baby-sit.
Assuming baby will be totally breast-fed then they will have quite a strong immune system from Mums milk.

My sister spoke to daughter inviting them to stop off on the way back from hospital so that she could meet baby, she was told firmly no, they would not call in, despite my sisters house being en route home

I think this is hilarious!
Entitled or what??

I find the whole thing depressing, such a lack of communication and understanding not to mention give and take…on all sides.

Sorry, I really don't understand why you would think that at all. It doesn't make any logical sense. Hope you are OK

Ofcourse I'm OK!

Your comment was specifically to me and started with "Well..." which in itself comes over as a response specifically to something someone has said. It doesn't have to be logical to you, it is just how I read it so I responded.

Anyway this is hardly relevant to the OP who I hope is finding at least dome of tge comments that have stated on topic useful!

Under the circumstances I agree with them. First baby is strange to get used to managing. I think they are spot on!

Pretentious.

I find the whole thing depressing, such a lack of communication and understanding not to mention give and take…on all sides.

Yup. Communication is two way and much more than just saying it! Sad.

I think it's fine. I didn't notice the hearts until others mentioned them. I would be happy to see the baby over Skype until they think it's safe to have contact. Of course, they may change their tune once the baby is born. If they know even now that they will be exhausted, they might give in and accept help.

2old4this

This is in fact my niece writing to her mother, my sister.
My sister spoke to daughter inviting them to stop off on the way back from hospital so that she could meet baby, she was told firmly no, they would not call in, despite my sisters house being en route home. Even if they just stopped the car so that my sister could have a peek. No. She then received this message, and sister phoned daughter again to say 'but I'm your mum......" only to be told that the other grandma didn't have a problem, the answer is still No! I'm deeply annoyed with my niece. The baby is due in 8 weeks

2old4this -your sister expects her daughter to 'drop in' on the way home from hospital with a new born. And your annoyed at your neice! Wrong!

This, no doubt with other unreported demands from your sister, will have precipitated the message. Maybe this is the only way your neice can deal with the situation - an overbearing mother.

My sympathies are entirely with your neice. She will have a new family now. You should encourage your sister to back right off else you could be posting on the estrangement threads.

But the round robin text/email etc is just OTT

I expect everyone can look forward to years of hilarious Round Robins at Christmas for years and years

It's possible to have a new family whilst still retaining the old one.
Lots of people manage it just fine.

GrannyLaine : You had a rough experience there highland dreams I was so fortunate in that with each of my four babies, either my Mum or Mum in Law came to help out. And help out they did - cooked meals, played with the other children & took them out to give me time to rest and recuperate. Never ever did they overstep the mark. And with that role model in mind, I took the same approach with each and every one of my grandchildren as they arrived. New parents need nurture and space to grow into confident parents. I have a lovely memory of one of my daughters in the early days of breastfeeding, phoning me in the small hours, close to tears saying " Mum, you know how you've always said if it all gets too much to ring you? Well I'm ringing you...."
And I went in a heartbeat,

It was rough and draining, so much so that I swore I would not do that to my children. When my son and daughter were having their babies I told them both I wouldn't push in or give lots of unwanted advice, but I would be there whenever they wanted & help with whatever they asked for anytime & every time they needed me and do things their way ,not mine. They loved that I said that from the outset because they knew I would give them the space they needed while still being a helpful loving mum and nanna.

I’m not sure why people are saying that the new parents will soon be asking for help with feeding, sleeping etc. My Mum, lovely though she was, was the last person I’d ask for help, she didn’t breastfeed and safe sleeping wasn’t something she knew anything about. I asked my sister who had slightly older children. I also wasn’t exhausted post birth, it’s not always a given especially now dads get 2 weeks paternity leave and are generally a little more used to sharing domestic chores.
Fortunately my parents were the least demanding grandparents who never overstepped, never gave advice unless it was asked for and were therefore always welcome.

What alot of fuss about nothing, why cant the daughter stop the car outside the Mothers house, let her look at the baby, without getting out of the car, and off they go. This could be arranged before hand.
Honestly all this carry on. I dont know anyone who behaves like this in real life.
As for the text I dont know anyone who would send a communication like that. As for dont expect us not to make tea and coffee as we will be exhausted, talk about making a meal of it. If Mother is with the baby surely the Father could be polite enough to offer the guests a cup of tea.
I just find the daughter pretentious and a bit of a pain.
I have never come across anything like it thank goodness. I was out shopping in less than a week when my son was born. I also had my daughter. Everyone stopped and looked at the baby. I welcomed it.
Also I hope this daughter then does not ask the Gran for childcare, these days people like the OP's daughter have all these rules, but get upset when Gran refuses to look after the child when it is convenient for them.
Like I said above, this is not normal with the people I know, we just get on with life and enjoy it.

I think they're saying it because they are grandparents who have been asked to help out.
Very often to the detriment of their own wellbeing.

None of us really know what the family dynamics are in this family . We are being asked to comment on something that we might or might not have experience with.
We all base our answers partly on our own experiences and the dynamics within our own family.
We can guess why it was written or where it was copied from.
This is an aggrieved mother getting a letter from her daughter who doesn't seem to be able to get through to her in any other way and aunty has joined in by posting it here. It is obvious who's side aunty is on.
All our families are different and when we had babies it was different, we can't expect the current generation to share our views.
How many of us shared our mothers or MIL's I certainly didn't even down to the way a nappy was folded or putting the baby in their own room from birth or outside in its pram whatever the weather.
As I said earlier I just hope the girl never finds out it was posted.
Like others have said wait for the phone call grandma they will soon start. But don't push the issue.

I'd be fine with this to be honest. It's just not something I could get my knickers in a knot about!

Madgran77

*Sorry, I really don't understand why you would think that at all. It doesn't make any logical sense. Hope you are OK*

Ofcourse I'm OK!

Your comment was specifically to me and started with "Well..." which in itself comes over as a response specifically to something someone has said. It doesn't have to be logical to you, it is just how I read it so I responded.

Anyway this is hardly relevant to the OP who I hope is finding at least dome of tge comments that have stated on topic useful!

OK Madgran