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Single again - struggling

(53 Posts)
SinglePringle Mon 20-Dec-21 19:41:10

I’m late 60s and have been divorced almost 20 years. Since then I’ve had a few relationships, none of which worked out. Most recently I had a very intense two month thing with a man that ended badly; there had been red flags all along which I chose to ignore but there you go. Before meeting him I’d been single quite a few years. He had made me believe we had a future and I was enjoying being part of a couple. But here I am again, single and disappointed. I really think this was my last chance for a relationship and I must resign myself to being on my own and try to be content. I have a lovely family and friends and a dog that I love. Please tell me that a single life in your 60s and beyond, with no real prospect of finding a partner can be a worthwhile one. I just feel so gutted my dream of finding love didn’t come true.

Kim19 Mon 20-Dec-21 19:48:51

I've had no problems with the solo life for the past twenty plus years. I'm fortunate to be healthy and have lots of interests as well as a very active social life. Not my first choice, admittedly, but that died with my husband.

tanith Mon 20-Dec-21 19:50:59

SinglePringle I’m early 70s and been alone since DH died 3yrs ago. I too have a lovely family and trust me you can totally have a fulfilling happy life without a partner in it. I of course have days when I’m crushingly lonely but mostly I’m very happy pleasing myself in whatever I do. The house and every decision about it is mine to make my own now and I’m really happy with my life.
Enjoy your friends family and your doggie friend and appreciate all the love in your life.

SinglePringle Mon 20-Dec-21 20:03:18

Ah thank you ladies. I was actually ok before he turned up and swept me off my feet (should have recognised that as a bad sign). It just felt so nice walking along holding hands ?

Chardy Mon 20-Dec-21 22:17:58

I realised in my mid-60s that I don't want to be at someone's beck and call, that I like my independence. I so wish I'd realised in my mid-40s.

Charleygirl5 Mon 20-Dec-21 22:27:51

I have been on my own for so long now I really could not hack it with a man in the house again. I can do what I want when I want. Sure there are times when I think of happier days but I am enjoying my present life, without the restrictions!

Grandmabatty Mon 20-Dec-21 22:43:14

I have been alone for over twenty years. I never ruled out meeting someone but it didn't happen and I doubt it will now. I don't yearn for what I don't have but enjoy what living alone brings me. Complete autonomy. I don't have to compromise on anything. I did my own painting and decorating and even tiled a kitchen. I was quietly happy at that. I think I might struggle with a partner now as I'm used to my own company. Living completely alone through the lockdown last year, has shown me I'm more resilient than I would have believed. I think you are hurting just now and feeling low. It will pass.

SinglePringle Mon 20-Dec-21 22:50:40

Ah thank you Grandmabatty, yes the hurt will pass and I’ll probably realise I had a lucky escape! I do love sleeping in my bed alone I must say.

missingmarietta Mon 20-Dec-21 23:02:54

I've been single for a very long time now...20 years [I'm 72]...and whilst it took some adjusting to I would now never want anyone affecting my freedom and decisions as to what I do and where I go, who I see and for how long etc.

I love my independence and my home. Lots of interests and usually busy every day. If I'm not I go for long walks. I see my family and have a good friend who I see at the weekends. We go out for days, for walks, eat out, go for coffee and cake, sightsee, scour garden centres or we work in either her or my garden, growing veg in hers.

Since being single I've done up 4 houses top to bottom, and now settled where I am. I read a lot, revive and paint furniture for people, do some woodwork etc.etc...Life's good. I have peace. I like my own company. I used to find compromising difficult sometimes. Now I'm doing what I want while I can do it.

BlueBelle Tue 21-Dec-21 06:13:23

I’ve been on my own about 25 years after three very difficult relationships I am reasonably content on my own Yes I miss a cuddle or support when I m upset or worried (not that I had that much support) I have had quite a few offers over the single years but not going to put myself through any more hurt
I have lots of friends and three very close ones I do lots of voluntary work, swim and have my allotment I really couldn’t go through the ups and downs of a relationship any more
The peace for me is worth too much

SinglePringle Tue 21-Dec-21 06:39:56

Oh gosh, thank you all for such positive stories of singleness! I think being in that relationship for a short time, being wined and dined and seemingly adored, made me think that being part of a couple was so much better. But the drama that accompanied it was draining and I was turning myself into a different person to try and please him (I’m very strong-headed and he didn’t like that so I started to act like a 1950s housewife). I know I can only truly be myself on my own and don’t need a man to lead a full and contented life.

You all sound wonderful; what lovely friends you’d make ?

glammanana Tue 21-Dec-21 09:57:02

I have been on my own for 2 years exactly this month and as much as I dislike it I could never have another man in my life there is no one out there who could live up to late darling man.

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 21-Dec-21 10:14:04

Hello again LucySnowe / MaggieTulliver, presumably decided to drop the chap who love bombed you, stole your keys and was going to spend Christmas Day with a striking younger woman and now back with another fairytale that people will think is genuine and spend time replying to you. Why don’t you contribute to other threads if you want some social interaction on here and write a novel in your spare time? I despise people who tell untruths about themselves and seek sympathy from others for fictitious scenarios.

aggie Tue 21-Dec-21 10:14:25

I didn’t think I’d cope without a male partner , but I’m ok on my own ! Of course I’m a lot older than you .
It’s nice to get up when I want , stay home or venture out without asking anyone , and eat when and what I like

Shinamae Tue 21-Dec-21 10:18:47

Charleygirl5

I have been on my own for so long now I really could not hack it with a man in the house again. I can do what I want when I want. Sure there are times when I think of happier days but I am enjoying my present life, without the restrictions!

Ditto!!

Aldom Tue 21-Dec-21 10:25:46

Well spotted Germanshepherdsmumgrin

Urmstongran Tue 21-Dec-21 10:49:08

Oh heck. I nearly fell for this GMS.
You obviously spotted the pattern of behaviour.
Well done Miss Marple! ?

aggie Tue 21-Dec-21 10:49:57

Aldom

Well spotted Germanshepherdsmumgrin

Glad someone is smarter than me !

Esspee Tue 21-Dec-21 10:56:39

Oh goodness, wonder if this is on Mumsnet too like the last one.

Urmstongran Tue 21-Dec-21 10:57:50

With the ripe language? ???

notgran Tue 21-Dec-21 10:57:52

I thought it sounded a familiar story. It's the door key lady. grin There are some really weird characters out there in Social Media Land. Not me obviously, I'm perfect in every way blush

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 21-Dec-21 10:58:04

Elementary my dear Aldom and Urms. I just hate to see people being conned. I know there are other wind-up posts, some we spot and some we don’t, and I was caught out at first with the Maggie Tulliver incarnation, we were all following the progress of the romance and keeping everything crossed until the drama of the lost keys which someone cleverly spotted she was running on MN too (with MN-suitable bad language). It’s rather like being scammed but without losing money.

NanTheWiser Tue 21-Dec-21 12:37:55

Yeah, I had my suspicions too…

tanith Tue 21-Dec-21 12:40:21

I should guessed ?

grannydarkhair Tue 21-Dec-21 12:53:04

I’m being thick here, but is SinglePringle not genuine then? She’s also LucySnowe/*MaggieTulliver*? I was just about to post, but then read what everyone had said. How sad that someone has to resort to something like this for attention.