Resting Miserable Face

It does annoy me that it's nearly always women that get these comments. Yes I get it when I'm thinking about something. I was perfectly okay until I got the comment lol.

Yes, that's exactly it - if you were feeling down you aren't going to be cheered up by a comment like that, and if you were perfectly happy it would just bring you down.

Idiots. And yes, it's only women who get it, I think. Because our very purpose is to look good at all times ?.

Yes and we definitely shouldn't be thinking..

Heavens, no.

Kate1949

Someone said to me recently 'You always look scared.' That's because I mostly am!

Kate, it’s funny how often we say the same things (#anxiety - probably)

Someone I worked with said that I always either looked worried or angry.

And that probably did sum me up. Especially at that school!

I was in a pub one evening 25 years ago this month.

A bloke at the bar said to me,
‘Cheer up love, it might never happen’

I replied that it was my mom’s funeral the following day.

He was absolutely mortified.

Germanshepherdsmum

I used to be told I looked either miserable or cross and so much better when I smiled. I know I did. Retirement and the consequent disappearance of so much stress has really changed that. And I have found that wearing a nice (not dark) red lipstick makes me look so much more cheerful.

I’ve noticed that my face is looking so much better a couple of years after stopping work.

Even though it’s been really stressful at home etc; I don’t have the frown lines and the ‘11’ between my eyebrows anymore.

I must have been constantly frowning! Poor kids!

Or it could be the ‘extra pounds’ that has plumped up the wrinkles…

I ve been told in the past that I look unhappy. I was determined to try to always have a smile on my face. I consciously made my mouth turn upwards and now I do it without thinking. It’s amazing how people react to you when you smile at them. And the bonus is, I feel happier! ☺️

I'm another one with a permanent 'resting b**ch face'! Comes in handy if you're on public transport and don't want anyone sitting next to you though

Just curious how often these kind of comments are aimed at men.

I too have been told to "cheer up, love". But never by women.

I have been asked many times if I am worried about something, no, not at all, I reply, this is my thinking face!
I have attempted to put on a more relaxed expression but the result is a look of someone gone with the fairies. ?. I give up.

Indeed Fanny. I've been scared all my life so it must show on my face.

It's rude to comment on someone's appearance especially what you think of their face. To solicit information about a stranger's feelings is also rude.

FannyCornforth

I was in a pub one evening 25 years ago this month.

A bloke at the bar said to me,
‘Cheer up love, it might never happen’

I replied that it was my mom’s funeral the following day.

He was absolutely mortified.

And so he should have been.

Do these people never think before they speak?

I know it can be easy to say tactless things without meaning to be unkind. A young woman I know told me that she hates comments about wearing a cardigan on a hot day, and suggestions that she should take it off, as she used to self-harm and has scars on her arms - I had never thought of that. It's much better to assume that adults and older children are capable of speaking up if something is bothering them, and letting them live their lives in their own way, rather than the way we see as 'normal'.

I think the 'cheer up, love' thing is just sexist, though. Thoughtless too, no doubt, but based on the idea that women should make men feel good all the time, and an apparently sad face doesn't lift their spirits, the poor things.

Dickens that’s an excellent point you’ve made ! The majority of these comments are made by men towards women. Men aren’t usually the recipients of personal remarks, particularly made by other men - presumably in case it results in fisticuffs

Me too, OP. Must say I’ve often wished I had one of those naturally smiley faces - at least partly a question of bone and muscle structure, presumably.

But at least nobody has recently told me to, ‘Cheer up, love, it might never happen!’
(Always a bloke, isn’t it?)

An extreme example, but I still remember the child at dds’ junior school - she was maybe 10 - whose face was invariably set in a sunny beam - even the day after her father had died of a heart attack. ?

When I was young people often said to me "Cheer up, it might never happen", so I guess I had a naturally sombre expression, even though I've always been a cheerful, happy-go-lucky person. Now that I'm (a lot) older nobody comments on it, so perhaps us oldies are expected to look 'miserable'! Can't say it really bothers me.

I just wish I looked as happy and content with my life as I feel inside, but I know which is more important!!!

Not as I've got older but I do remember years ago going through a phase of people saying to me "cheer up, it might never happen"
Infuriated me to the point of replying, "it already has, my parents have been killed in a car crash" (they hadn't, thank goodness) but I was so incensed that a complete stranger could even think of approaching someone and saying it, without knowing anything about their life.
As maturity has descended upon me I def wouldn't give that answer to anyone now, but I don't think it would be said now.

Open eyes wide - you will tend to smile then and soon it becomes a habit when you meet new people.

Please I would love one of those badges

Read Spike Milligan's 'Smiling is infectious', any kind of smile helps. Take no notice of comments, stay happy in your own skin.

I too have had the "cheer up, it may never happen" remark a lot during my life. I don't have a naturally "smily" face and always look serious. Too late to do anything about it now, but what are "marionette lines"?

Yep always had the same comment too when young and older. I also worked out a bit too late that when I feel Im responding witha friendly happy face, Im barely smiling and my eyes aren't involved. Ive had to practise in a mirror what a full on smile feels like and memorise it to recreate it at social events and it has definitely made a difference.

I want a badge, TerriT!! I have an unhappy resting face too!! ?