Resting Miserable Face

I have marionette lines which have obviously got worse over the years. It’s one thing I’d change about my appearance if I could. I’ve had a lifetime of being told to cheer up. When I’m sad or worried I apparently look furious- even people who know me well have asked what on earth I’m so angry about. I hate it. The worst occasion was some years back someone I worked with sent me a letter(!) a few days after working together, telling me how distressed she was as I obviously had a problem with her as I’d been glaring at her, and why didn’t I tell her what I was so angry about. I was really distraught when I got the letter (always been a wimp), and cried and cried. A more sensible friend was angry on my behalf and told me to forget it as it was the other person who was at fault. But I have never forgotten, and always wish I looked happier as I’m generally fairly easy going and cheerful.

Dickens

Just curious how often these kind of comments are aimed at men.

I too have been told to "cheer up, love". But never by women.

Mr A used to get comments too. He has always had a down turned mouth, and only really looks happy when he's laughing. I think in the early years I might even have asked him what was wrong if I thought he didn't look happy. Mainly he got it from middle aged women who invariably thought he should 'cheer up as it may never happen'.

Lizzie44 Marionette lines are the deep creases that run from your nose down to your chin that people get as they get older from losing collagen in their skin - giving you the appearance of a puppet with a move able mouth.

I've got a resting b face. And I really don't give an F.

It has got worse as it's got older but I think my default has always been miserable cow.

Yes I get it too. “Don’t look so miserable, love. It may never happen”
I got so fed up with these tactless strangers that I started playing the game of embarrassing them in return. Keeping my most miserable face I tell them that my mother/husband/dog/sister has just died. Hopefully they will not make personal comments like that again.

BeEmerald

Dickens that’s an excellent point you’ve made ! The majority of these comments are made by men towards women. Men aren’t usually the recipients of personal remarks, particularly made by other men - presumably in case it results in fisticuffs

... I think a few have mentioned it!

I remember stepping onto a bus - in the days when we still had bus conductors - and this particular one (male) grinned at me and said "give us a smile then!"

It had been a stressful day. I looked at him for a few seconds and said "why should I smile for you?" and walked to the front of the bus. He was so affronted by my reply that he kept muttering to other passengers (or 'customers' as we're now called) that he was "only trying to be friendly".

I mentioned it later to my then partner and asked him if he thought I'd over-reacted. He was quite thoughtful and said something along the lines that he didn't think I'd lost my sense of proportion because many men seemed to feel that they were owed the attention of women - basically just your common-or-garden, sexism. He thought the proof was that he couldn't imagine a situation where a man would demand that another man "smile" for him.

I have had women say that I look a bit "down in the dumps" occasionally, but that usually stems from concern - and it comes from women I know!

I also had a boss (a temporary boss) who referred to me as a "girl" - or "gal" (he was very upper crust). On the day I left, I reminded him that I was in my late 40s and, in fact, older than him. He had a naturally red complexion - it went purple!

You should see my latest passport photo! Admittedly that's not helped by not being allowed to wear glasses, so trying to peer at the screen to see where the GO button is, whilst not moving my head out of the sweet spot - but the photo is scaring me!

Thank you AreWeThereYet. I'm now up to speed on marionette lines and have just spent a bizarre few minutes in front of the mirror pulling my face into exaggerated shapes...

I hate it when folk say this. I’ve had it said a couple of times and I wasn’t miserable more tired or just thinking or something.
I usually laugh if someone says it now, but they haven’t for ages (thank god).

We’re all in good company, the Queen has a very solemn resting face but then can suddenly beam!

I'm another person with an apparently "severe" expression. I've been told that I look "Aloof" and "Disapproving", when I'm trying to look "open" and friendly! I smile at people who smile at me, and even those who look curious.
I'm at a bit of a disadvantage though, since I am partially sighted and can't see a person's expression until they are pretty close to me. I'm also guilty of waving back at people who are waving at someone else, because I'm not completely sure who they are, or even if it is someone I know!

This is why Covid face masks were soo useful - no one even looked at anyone else a few months back.

To make any form of personal comment is very rude.

I hate it when this comment is made we don't know what others have on their mind or is happening in their lives I find it rude and intrusive and more often said by a man to a woman alone like they are owed your attention. I was in a supermarket recently it was said to me later I saw the same man at the checkout by which time I'd met up with my daughter I said " that's the man who made the rude comment" at which point he scuttled away obviously not so brave

Madashell

This is why Covid face masks were soo useful - no one even looked at anyone else a few months back.

To make any form of personal comment is very rude.

Too true Madashell

During the time of compulsory masks at supermarkets I had a chat with someone I slightly know who was working at the checkout. She asked me if I was still working and when I told her I had retired a few years ago at the age of 73 she was genuinely astonished as she seemed to think I was about fifteen years younger than I actually am.

I'm thinking of wearing a facemask everywhere from now on.

I don’t know what marionette lines are either ? Are they what I call tram lines ( remember them ?) two vertical lines between your eyebrows ?

BeEmerald

I don’t know what marionette lines are either ? Are they what I call tram lines ( remember them ?) two vertical lines between your eyebrows ?

No, they are the deep lines which form from your nose down to either side of your lips - think of how the mouth on a puppet or marionette looks.

I’m learning a lot today ! Thank you !!

When I was a child around eleven years old, I was extremely shy and wanted to crawl away and hide rather than have attention drawn to me. There was a teacher who was very full of himself and he would call me “smiley” every day as a joke so the class would snicker. I found out later that he was fired due to appropriate contact with a few girls. THAT made me smile. ?

Inappropriate contact!

The vertical lines between eyebrows are known as elevens. (11).

My MIL always looked as if she’d been sucking a lemon. Sour faced with a personality to match!

I’ve been told that I look down, miserable, depressed, always by women. Definitely worse now I’m older, would need a facelift but don’t like surgical intervention even when needed. That’s why I didn’t mind face masks. Yes the passport photos where you can’t wear glasses and smile, are a nightmare!

Not quite on the topic, but last weekend I was at a singing workshop. One of the techniques we were taught was to use a look of Happy Surprise, to reach the top notes. It worked.

Thereafter, he called it our “Christmas face”!
Worth remembering.

I have often had 'Cheer up it might never happen said to me', even when I have been enjoying myself. I am the sort of person who prefers to sit and people watch at things like wedding receptions and you get these people who try to drag you onto the dance floor saying come and enjoy yourself with me. Why don't they get it that some people don't enjoy that kind of thing. Add to this the fact that I have always hated my teeth and don't like showing them in an open mouthed smile.

I was once in a pub sitting alone while my companion was absent for a pee. A man in a nearby group moved across to me and said "Cheer up" or some such inanity. I was so incensed I stood up grasping my empty lager glass and he was afraid I'd actually hit him with it.

When my male companion returned this idiot man apologised to HIM (not me!) saying "Sorry , mate, I didn't know she was with someone."

I’ve had (jovial) remarks made about my height (or lack of it) too. I laugh with them but it is hurtful. I wouldn’t dream of making such comments about a person’s weight, so why do they feel free to do so?

Another one with a miserable resting face. My top lip is getting thinner, so that’s making it even worse. As for my passport photo, I get that done professionally which gets a much better look.