"It's not me - you mumble!" ?

I phone when dinner’s ready!

I've taken to phoning him rather than shouting from one room to another.

And I send texts of dates and times etc, so then he can't say I didn't tell him, when what he means is he didn't hear me.

My DH is just the same,our kitchen and dining room is on a 2step lower level.
I can shout and shout to tell him dinner is ready with no response.Frustrating to say the least I jokingly tell him all the neighbours can here before he does.He says I mumble.
Selective or what ? Can relay messages with times,dates etc and he denies all knowledge of being told but his sporting arrangements now there lies a different tale.

Please can I join the party, doesn't hear me, has had the hearing tests and has the hearing aids. Just doesn't use them.

Same with his sleep apnia. he has the equipment, can sleep wearing it, but doesn't use it then sleeps all day in the LR and then wonders why he hardly sees me because I have better things to do than keep a sleeping man company for hours on end.

Sometimes, I think it's just laziness.
I find that if I feign a rather quizzical look, wait a second and am not tempted to repeat myself, the (required) response is generally forthcoming after all.

When I stay with my family, they complain that I turn the TV up far too high. I keep 'meaning to' have my hearing tested because it's embarrassing to have to ask my soft-spoken friends to repeat themselves. At least in my own house, I can turn up the volume as high as I like!

It is a universal club.

Can anyone help me distinguish between whether my DH is like yours, or sufferering partial memory loss, or like so many men, just not bothering to listen to his wife - the one writing this?

DH can hear the television when it is turned down to a level I find difficult to hear, which makes me feel I must be the one with the hearing loss, but GP says no.
However, I tell DH something, he replies suitably and later the same day, or the following one asks me about thatever it was we discussed previously!

So whose hearing is defective here?

We are clearly not alone!

With us, it's me who has the hearing problem. though he's starting to say 'What?' when I speak to him.
I have hearing aids now but I HATE them. And rarely wear them. Mainly because theyre fiddly to insert, often fall out, and usually irritate the inside of my ears. Still got shingles there.
They do help though.
Baggs i was going to add the connection with dementia - deafness cuts you off from what's going on around you.

After all my criticisms, am about the queue of complainers.
Have had hearing aids for nearly ten years. DW used to work with the hearing impaired.
Can hear others quite easily.
A neighbour complained that she mumbled. I am wrong to talk whilst in another room, cannot be heard ("Nothing wrong with my hearing") but am expected to hear when she is in another room or when facing away.
There ain't no justice

I am slightly hard of hearing but it's not time for digital help yet. My husband is having big problems never hearing what's being said to him therefore making more mistakes. But he will not under any circumstances have his ears tested. Everything in the house is on the highest volume it's drives me mad.
He will admit to other people that he can't hear properly but when I mention it I am a nag I just give up!

SuzieHi my husband is like this with spicy food. I've bought a jar of chilli flakes so he can add extra to his plate.
He's a keen cook but everything is so hot I can barely eat it. Last week we had chilli, curry and jambalaya. He thought they tasted fine and was hurt I didn't enjoy them.
I don't want to go down the separate meals route, but...

As for hearing issues, after many years of denial he finally went, got the NHS hearing aids, then heard about private Bluetooth hearing aids and got them.
So now half the time he still can't hear me because he's tuned in and listening to some sports match through them ?

OOOh nice one Visgirl,i shall use that one if you don`t mind.
Yes, i too have a Dh that can`t hear me and asks constantly what i said,and also tells me to stop mumbling.
And yet if i say what do you fancy tonight,he grins and says oooh missus, i said i meant for dinner .
Back to being as and when it suits deaf.

DMIL had another way of putting it, to everyone, very loudly and slowly, as if we were all the ones with the hearing difficulties.

You should en-un-ci-ate properly.

I could have written any one of these posts but would willingly put up with deafening TV and talking at cross purposes to have him back with me.
Apparently I was a terrible mumbler and always waited until he had his back to me before speaking to him.

I do wonder sometimes?

My husband still hears everything but unfortunately it goes in one ear and out….somewhere else!!

My DH has been very ‘hard of hearing’ for years, doesn’t need the tv turned up, but struggles in conversation, especially in groups. Very touchy if it was mentioned though.

Finally, a few weeks ago, managed to get him to go for a hearing test. Didn’t want me to go in with him, but the audiologist invited me in as well. I could hear some of the machine’s bleeps and it wasn’t me being tested! ( He couldn’t).

End result, he definitely needs hearing aids, significant loss in one ear, and also booked to see an ENT consultant when an appointment comes up. Waiting to have wax removed, then his aids will be fitted.

He was quite subdued on hearing all this. But maybe he will realise how much he has been missing over the years. As others have said, mis-hearing, answering questions with totally wrong replies, interrupting because he doesn’t realise others are still talking…..

Sounds like a lot of us have husbands who can’t hear properly! Same story here… tv, or radio, too loud and constantly telling me I’m mumbling!
Admits he can’t hear birdsong or other background noises though.
He won’t go for a hearing test yet, but has agreed to go for “ear wax” removal this week. Not convinced it will improve matters!
Still step one……
Anyone else notice other half losing sense of taste too? Mine now piles on sauce, chilli, condiments…He can’t taste subtle flavours at all. Won’t admit to that either!

I know this will sound horrid to those of us who genuinely have hearing loss but it can be used to ones advantage. Periodically I am selectively deaf and short sighted when something happens that I dont want to know about. Or very absent minded and scatty. Like my whingy NDN trying to attract my attention.

Or someone at the door I dont want to bother with:-

Me: I dont have my hearing aid in. I dont buy at the door.

Caller: Im not selling ......

Me: Ive just told you I dont buy at the door. Go away!

I solved the problem by saying I thought I needed a hearing aid so why don’t we go and be tested. We were and he needed it more than me but now we both have them. Wow the th is softer and he can hear me when I speak!

Lord yes, this is also my life.

The constant repetition, the interpreting others for him, the explaining the TV dialogue…

I would possibly mind less if there wasn’t a constant string of excuses - I can’t hear you because the kettle’s on, I could hear her, but wasn’t sure what she meant, I can hear the TV, but British accents are odd, etc etc etc - while his hearing aids rot in a drawer.

I’ve taken to snapping ‘you can’t hear me because you’re deaf’ at regular intervals. It’s had zero effect, but it makes me feel better.

My friend has had a couple of operations on her voice box and was told not to shout. She explained that would be impossible as she always has to repeat things to her DH. She was told to say whatever once and not repeat herself, as he would eventually learn to pick out the keywords, then fill in the rest.
Sadly, reader, it didn’t work, which is why she had to have the operation done twice.

Germanshepherdsmum

My husband is exactly the same. It’s always me mumbling, or he wasn’t listening because he was doing something else…?

My is the same.. But it also works to my advantage sometime.. When I say I did tell you.. He has no idea if I did.. I didn't

My husband was the same and he ended up with two hearing aids. Niw I’ve got a perforated ear drum and can’t hear at all with one ear I’m struggling and apparently I’m on the list for ENT ?