Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

"It's not me - you mumble!" ?

(66 Posts)
ixion Sat 21-May-22 17:31:58

Has anyone had this issue with husbands who clearly aren't hearing you?
How did you tackle it? It's really very tiring.

And yes, everyone else understands me loud and clear?

Kate1949 Sat 21-May-22 17:37:05

Yes!! Constantly. Everything I say to him I have to repeat. 'Yes but you mumble he says'. I don't. He has hearing aids too.

Wheniwasyourage Sat 21-May-22 17:37:16

Oh yes!! Eventually he spent some time with some of the family and realised that he couldn't hear them either, went to get his hearing tested and got hearing aids. It wan't me mumbling after all!!

Good luck. It may take some time, but it's worth it in the end. grin

lixy Sat 21-May-22 17:37:47

Total sympathy from here ixion.

He was a bit perplexed the other day when I was listening to the baby blue tits tweeting away in the birdbox - he couldn't hear them at all. But then I am able to hear higher pitches than he is because 'women can' apparently!
No solutions to offer, sorry, but will be watching the thread with great interest.

Marydoll Sat 21-May-22 17:40:34

Snap, exactly the same scenario in our home..

About four years ago my DIL tested DH's hearing and told him, that he had slight hearing loss. He took it as meaning his hearing was fine and has continued to be fine, ever since. It certainly is not, but he refuses to go for a test!

I am driven to distraction by the chaos, he is causing, by mishearing and getting things wrong, including buying a new car!!! I was standing behind him, warning the salesperson, that he hadn't heard a single word of what she said.
It's everyone else, who is mumbling!!! Don't even mention the volume on the TV. It is deafening. ?

Bellanonna Sat 21-May-22 17:41:40

I always have to repeat myself because apparently I mumble and am not at all clear. Meanwhile the hearing aids are in the sock drawer, or somewhere.

GrannyGravy13 Sat 21-May-22 17:44:16

Oh dear I could have written your post Marydoll and the others

I have given up, I say very little to DH as I am utterly fed up of repeating myself…

Kate1949 Sat 21-May-22 17:45:42

My DH uses me as a kind of interpreter. When we are with people he constantly looks at me to repeat what they have said. He gets the wrong end of the stick sometimes and chips in to a conversation which has nothing to do with what is being spoken about. He sends our granddaughter into fits of giggles with his mis-hearing.
I do feel for him but it is very tiring as you say ixion. And that's with hearing aids.

Bellanonna Sat 21-May-22 17:51:03

Oh Lord, Kate, that must be so frustrating. At least my OH has the excuse of not using his, but it’s so tiring for us isn’t it!?

GrannyGravy13 Sat 21-May-22 17:53:20

My dearest one, refuses to get a hearing aid. I so wish he would.

Kate1949 Sat 21-May-22 17:55:44

Yes it is Bella. He's a lovely man but sometimes......

Bellanonna Sat 21-May-22 17:58:42

Oh, I know, Kate …..

Marydoll Sat 21-May-22 18:01:47

My daughter and son in law have just moved in with us, until the can get into their new house.
I am hoping that they will see exactly, what I have been complaining about.

Germanshepherdsmum Sat 21-May-22 18:04:50

My husband is exactly the same. It’s always me mumbling, or he wasn’t listening because he was doing something else…?

Gingster Sat 21-May-22 18:08:00

Oh my goodness!
Same here!
After a couple of years of gradual hearing loss, Dh eventually had his hearing tested. Then and there he was fitted with hearing aids. Brilliant service on the NHS.
Does he wear them? Does he hell. ?.

Kate1949 Sat 21-May-22 18:08:29

Sometimes it it comical though. When he hasn't heard me he always says 'It's what?'
Me: 'Its raining'. Him: 'It's what?'
Me: 'Mrs Jones down the road has died.' Him: 'It's what?'
Me: 'What time would you like to go shopping?' Him: 'It's what?'
Aaaaargh. grin

Lyndylou Sat 21-May-22 18:14:20

Oh me too. I am sure my OH just has a default answer of "Sorry what did you say" to everything I say to him. He does have some hearing issues from an old accident but refuses to have any check up or hearing aid. I also have the unwanted role of relating what has just been said on the TV so I end up missing the next bit of dialogue.

Kate1949 Sat 21-May-22 18:16:14

Subtitles are the answer Lyndylou

Grandmadinosaur Sat 21-May-22 18:16:29

Oh yes another DH here who’s the same ?
he also says that too Kate1949 it’s what?

If he’s been anywhere on his own and comes back and relays what he’s been told I often wonder if he’s heard correctly.

GrannyGravy13 Sat 21-May-22 18:17:06

Husbands can be frustrating but I guess we all love the cantankerous old so and sos ❤️

Kate1949 Sat 21-May-22 18:20:23

I realise I can be extremely annoying too.

GrannyGravy13 Sat 21-May-22 18:22:24

Oh me also Kate1949

ayse Sat 21-May-22 18:27:25

Mine does it too and I have to repeat myself at least twice. ? Unfortunately he fills in the gaps when he hasn’t heard which leads to even more problems. He does actually wear one hearing aid. The TV is so loud as well.

But, I love him dearly so I just live with it now. ?

Lyndylou Sat 21-May-22 18:34:34

Subtitles are the answer

Might be helpful Kate1949 for me to keep up with the dialogue but for him, it would just mean a whole new hell about finding the right glasses.

And I do appreciate all his good points and I am, of course, completely perfect and not in the slightest bit annoying. grin

Oopsadaisy1 Sat 21-May-22 18:40:09

I can’t hear you when you mumble

I can’t hear you unless you are in the same room as me (well he used to)

I can’t hear you because I’m thinking about something else.

I give up. One day I’ll just stop speaking to him altogether - see if that works. Because it isn’t him, it’s me.