For those with family 3 hours away how often do you see each other ? We are retired and have just moved away to help out other Son with special needs child but I feel we are loosing touch with other son and family and not seeing our other DG grow up .
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How often do you see family
(66 Posts)You can't be everywhere just do the best you can. We are near one daughter but not the eldest. We do what we can and both tells us they are ok.
My daughters live close by but I see them often my son lives abroad and if I see him every 18mths I’m lucky. We all do what we can I’m sure.
My 3 children and families live just a 5 to 10 minute drive. I see them about once a fortnight. It can stretch to once in 3 weeks. They have their own lives and I try to have my own.
Three hours is longer or shorter, depending on the family situation. When we had family two hours away, they almost always traveled to us when we had very young children. Traveling that far with a baby is hard (though maybe some are easier travelers) and not good for the baby. We saw family about every 3-4 weeks, sometimes more often. As the children got older we took our turn to travel more often.
My daughter is close so we see her often. My son and his family a five hour drive away. We see them rarely and they are not good at keeping in touch. Too busy. But we persevere. Perhaps when the GDs are a little older they will come to stay as they did before Covid
My daughter lives 5 hours away. Normally we see her/them about 4 times a year.
Our relationship with her children is very good.
Recently, DD has come over weekly to see her dying father.
Now he has died, we shan’t see much of each other again until I move closer in the next 12 months.
Both my children live within 40 minutes drive. We keep in constant contact by phone and E-mail - by no means every day, but when we want to catch up or have news etc. we see each other high days and holidays and pop in infrequently.
The thing is at this stage of their lives they are about 50, they are busy with their careers, and at weekends their pursuits etc. I therefore tend to let them contact me, so I know that they have time to speak and phone calls will often go on for an hour.
So no, I don’t see them a huge amount of time, but I do know that if we need help they are there immediately and it is reciprocated.
One of our daughters and her children live with us, and we also work with her and her brother.
The other daughter is a good 2 hours away, but it’s a terrible road and always takes a lot longer than it should.
When her children were young we traveled up and down a lot, and the children would come and stay in the holidays.
The youngest one still does, as the cousins are good friends, but to be honest, I don’t expect to see much of the older ones now.
Whitewavemark2
Both my children live within 40 minutes drive. We keep in constant contact by phone and E-mail - by no means every day, but when we want to catch up or have news etc. we see each other high days and holidays and pop in infrequently.
The thing is at this stage of their lives they are about 50, they are busy with their careers, and at weekends their pursuits etc. I therefore tend to let them contact me, so I know that they have time to speak and phone calls will often go on for an hour.
So no, I don’t see them a huge amount of time, but I do know that if we need help they are there immediately and it is reciprocated.
This is very much the same for me. My children are younger, mid thirties, but also very busy with work, buying and renovating new homes, socialising etc. We tend to get together a few times a year for family reasons, we have a close extended family so often gave parties or outings.
My son lives furthest away so often sleeps over if he visits but is just about close enough, 100 miles away, to pop up for the day.
We set up a WhatsApp group just for the three of us during the first lockdown as they were worried about me living alone. I now have to message them every morning to let them know that I am awake and have not been taken ill overnight! If I’ve not done it my mid day, one of them phones me.
I know that if I need them, they would be here quickly. My sister lives very close to me so I see her most weeks which is nice.
Our son and grandson live a 15 minute drive away and we see them many times a week as we help with grandson.
Our daughter and granddaughters are a 20 minute drive and we see them once a week as they are such a busy popular family so we fit in where necessary. We are occasionally asked to babysit but not often as they live in the same village as the other grandparents and they realise we are busy with grandson as son is on his own.
Our eldest son lives in China and due to covid we haven’t seen him in the flesh 3 years? though normally it would be once a year.
We saw our daughter and family about 4 times a year when they were living a distance away. Now they are only 40 mins away and we see them about once month.
This daughter is super-capeable and always focused on something with her family. She loves us and so do her children (and husband) but they really don't need us as they are so self-sufficient.
But we have another daughter (also 40 minutes away) who sees us about every 10 days. This is because she is less busy than her sister and still at home with her little one.
A very local son tends to pop in most weekends with his children. We don't see his wife very often - but her family see her a lot.
My DDs are about 25 miles away and a few miles apart from each other. It’s 30 minutes on a good day, but much, much longer during rush hour. They are either side of 40, married, working and have children, so contact is generally weekends and evenings. I tend to go to them as that’s easier for them, but see them most weekend. I don’t know how things will pan out as we all get older (I live alone) but we are there for each other and would drop everything in an emergency.
I see my ACs as much as I can. 2 of them live about one and a half hours away and one is more than 3 hours from me and I can't drive that far now. By train it can take over 5 hours with 4 changes so I don't see him that often. He usually drives to see me.
They all keep in touch regularly. Some text daily so I keep up with all their lives.
Our daughter lives just over sixty miles away we go once a week fitting in with her timetable. Our son lives seven miles away we see them once maybe twice a week again fitting in with their timetable.
Gosh how things have changed over a generation. Younger us with children used to make the long journet to see parents. The more local siblings saw them more often but then we travelled maybe 4 times a year and weekly queued up at the red telephone box to ring them. It seems to be that it is the opposite way around now, that parents are feeling guilty at not travelling to see their AC
Much easier to slot in times to see children and dgc when the dgc were young, nowadays it is all about their plans with the teenage dgc, while they can do stuff together, including competitive stuff, including mountain biking etc. Any good grandparent knows that, it is their time. Nowt wrong with whatsapp, I have immediate family one and also sibling family one
Best thing any of us can do is to make them as guilt-free as possible, to appreciate that they have huge career commitments as well as weekend activities. I leave the ball in their court as much as possible. If any of us needed help in any way, everyone would drop everything to attend and in the meantime, there are other ways to keep in touch
We have 3 daughters. DD1 lives 15 miles away. We don’t have regular times to visit but see her and SIL about once every couple of weeks. We see our 19 year old DGS about once a month.
DD 2 lives 8 miles away and agin we see her about every couple of weeks.
DD 3 lives around the corner from DD2 and has two young boys. We see them frequently as the older one is at school around the corner from us and we look after the little one for a couple of hours , two days a week in term time.
Sometimes there will be a surprise visit from one or the other. We all use the family Wattsapp frequently. They all keep in touch and go out with each other and we often spend a holiday all together.
We are very lucky.
Both my sons live in London or close to it, and I live in NW England. One son is single and visits quite often, every six weeks or so. The other has a wife and children and I’d say we see each other about three times a year. Sometimes he comes on his own for a few hours, there and back in a day by train.
I no longer visit them, as I can’t cope with the journey. We all talk on the phone a lot. To me this seems a normal amount of contact. We’ve never been the sort of family who all live in the same area.
I see one family a lot, several times a week but the others from time to time when we mutually have time. We have a large extended family and it somehow falls to me to arrange a lot of the meetings, even between sisters when we don’t always go ourselves. Must be my allocated place in life I suppose! Possibly if I waited for them I wouldn’t see much of some of them and they wouldn’t see each other, I don’t know.
What are you thinking lilacrose?
How often are you seeing your 3hr a way family?
There is no pattern. DS and familylive 200 miles away, some times we may see them for a weekend every month for three or four months, at other times a week very holiday. It varies depending on school holidays, work commitments, birthdays, Christmas, Easter. In fact the pattern of visiting is impossible to forecast.
Whenever visits are convenient.
I was four hours away from my daughter and now I have moved she is only ten minutes away. My adult grandchildren are also nearby.
Best thing I ever did.
I live about 30 mins from grandchildren and we help out. Their Dad our son Lives 2 hours away so we try to fill in for him , but unless we go to him we hardly see him, it is what it is and I put it in a compartment so as I dint get upset at his lack of visits
My daughter and family live 5 mins away and as the children go to the school where I work I see them every day. My son and his wife have split up. We see our son around once a fortnight and our grandchildren who live with mum whenever they decide to call, which is usually around once a month. We always phone and text at lease once a week. My sister and her partner live around 3 hours away and we see them around 4 times a year.
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