Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Should men have their own “Gramps Net” ?

(349 Posts)

GNHQ have commented on this thread. Read here.

Sago Thu 25-Aug-22 08:42:50

I love to read Micks “Good Morning “ thread, Mick is a Gentleman in every sense of the word.

I rarely engage with men on GN, I took exception to a couple of men who were very crude and misogynistic.

I feel it is most unusual for a man to join a predominantly female space.
If for example my husband said he wanted to become part of the GN community I would be very against him joining. .

I realise there could be many men on here that we assume to be women but would you post more freely or discuss more intimate matters if this were a female forum only?

Do you think men should have their own site?

FannyCornforth Fri 26-Aug-22 13:20:39

I know that you don’t, (call me names, that is) I didn’t mean you.
Sorry again!

FannyCornforth Fri 26-Aug-22 13:19:40

Ok, thank you! smile

StarDreamer Fri 26-Aug-22 13:18:52

FannyCornforth

Sorry SD, I was definitely joking.
Sorry for any confusion or offence thanks

Well, there was no confusion or offence.

I just took it literally and replied. grin

StarDreamer Fri 26-Aug-22 13:16:29

FannyCornforth

That was posted in good humour, btw, and I’m sure that SD will take it that way
(--please don’t call me names--)

I have never called you names Fanny.

I thought what you wrote was literal so I replied.

FannyCornforth Fri 26-Aug-22 13:11:52

Sorry SD, I was definitely joking.
Sorry for any confusion or offence thanks

StarDreamer Fri 26-Aug-22 13:08:28

FannyCornforth

Have you just posted another flipping link to that blooming thread SD!?
Do I constantly have to keep tabs on you!?

Do you mean the virtual cruise along the river Main thread?

The links are what makes that virtual cruise thread so good.

Opinions vary on whether links should be allowed in a thread of a virtual cruise, but different threads have different ambiences.

If someone else starts a virtual cruise thread then I feel that that person can suggesr the ambience. I could then decide whether or not to paerticipate, on the basis that if I participate then I respect the ambience that has been suggested by the person starting the thread.

FannyCornforth Fri 26-Aug-22 13:00:49

That was posted in good humour, btw, and I’m sure that SD will take it that way
(--please don’t call me names--)

StarDreamer Fri 26-Aug-22 12:59:58

Doodledog wrote (for the benefit of the literal and/or humourless, that was a joke grin)

Well, it a good job you said! [literal] [not humourless] grin

FannyCornforth Fri 26-Aug-22 12:56:28

Have you just posted another flipping link to that blooming thread SD!?
Do I constantly have to keep tabs on you!?

StarDreamer Fri 26-Aug-22 12:52:57

Doodledog wrote However much people want to impose rules, the only ones that will ever be obeyed are the ones that are actively enforced, ...

I don't think that that is quite true.

For example, as a fact, let's not get into whether I was right or wrong to do so, I specified vegan in relation to food in the following thread.

LINK > www.gransnet.com/forums/culture_arts/1312375-Virtual-cruise-from-Mainz-along-the-river-Main

It is not so much "obeyed" as being accepted as the ambience of the particular thread and people voluntarily accepting that in that particular thread.

Two people have commented in other threads about that thread.

One lady said that she is an omnivore, but went along with the vegan ambience of the thread.

Another lady expressed that she may make Argy comments in an Argy thread but whether she makes Argy comments depends upon where she is, and in fact the lady did not make such comments in that particular thread.

In the event a vegan restaurant was found. So that only happened because of the ambience of the thread.

A really happy thread with various participants suggesting things and they all being included.

I liken it to if, say, someone attends a wedding, and is not immediate family, so does not go and sit in the front few rows out of courtesy to the immediate family, nobody actually saying don't sit in the first few rows.

If another wedding is of a close relation, then on that occasion they sit nearer the front.

So I don't regard it as rules being "dictated" and a requirement to "obey", I regard it as various threads have various ambiences.

I know that some people think differently about the issue, but c'est la vie.

baubles Fri 26-Aug-22 12:50:26

That was fun StarDreamer. I tried a line dancing class once, when we came to the end of the dance I was facing the wrong way. Every single time. grin

MissAdventure Fri 26-Aug-22 12:34:29

Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be dictated to about days of the week!

Galaxy Fri 26-Aug-22 12:33:02

Tuesday is better for me. We needs some rules on who decides what day of the week is best grin.

MissAdventure Fri 26-Aug-22 12:32:47

Could we have a committee?
Like the wheeltappers and shunters?

Doodledog Fri 26-Aug-22 12:31:33

Galaxy

But my rules would be brilliant smile

Good point. So would mine, and I can think of a few others who would be good too.

We can form a Rules Committee, and let people know what we decide? We could be up and running by Monday, I think.

(for the benefit of the literal and/or humourless, that was a joke grin)

MissAdventure Fri 26-Aug-22 12:30:01

That was a nice "welcome" then, wasn't it? grin

Galaxy Fri 26-Aug-22 12:28:39

But my rules would be brilliant smile

StarDreamer Fri 26-Aug-22 12:28:21

Actually, when I first arrived on Gransnet in 2021 I used a gender neutral username.

One poster speculated that I was a man, that I reminded her of someone she knew who was born in 1943. Then added that he was unliked.

One person wrote something like

Bet he's male, 78, no kids.

Though I use the word children.

Anyway, here is a video of an almost all-female event, but a man is there participating. No fuss, no problem. Just human beings being happy.

LINK > www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJsCEkpPdi4

Perhaps something worth noting and applying in this forum.

Doodledog Fri 26-Aug-22 12:27:11

Galaxy

I dont really understand the whole welcoming thing to be honest.

No, me neither, and it's worse in FB groups when 76% of posts are people saying 'thanks for the add'. Just post something grin.

I think the bottom line is always that a board is the sum of its parts, and what we get depends on what people post. However much people want to impose rules, the only ones that will ever be obeyed are the ones that are actively enforced, and that can only be done by HQ, so we are all basically wasting our time pontificating over any of this. It passes the time though wink.

StarDreamer Fri 26-Aug-22 12:17:30

> Have a flounce on me

Sounds like a jazz song,

Galaxy Fri 26-Aug-22 12:12:08

I dont really understand the whole welcoming thing to be honest.

Jaxjacky Fri 26-Aug-22 11:58:03

I’m not surprised Fanny reading some of the comments on this thread!

FannyCornforth Fri 26-Aug-22 11:54:55

Men just don’t tend to hang around.
In fact, sorry,
I’m going to moan now, but it really annoys me when someone joins; and everyone welcomes with outstretched arms, and makes a big fuss of them; and then they never post again.

Callistemon21 Fri 26-Aug-22 11:53:40

Apparently a callistemon is hermaphrodite.

FannyCornforth Fri 26-Aug-22 11:52:20

There was one male poster who not only mentioned his sex, but he also liked talking about his actual sex life (I think that Calli might know who I mean)
He doesn’t post much now