Sleeping in separate beds - does it help?

I know people who have changed to separate beds because of similar problems. Why not suggest it as a temporary solution until your husband's hip is done? It might not sound quite so upsetting put like that.

With my knee pain, pre-op, I took two Paracetamol 500 and prescribed melatonin 2mg. Has he tried drugs?

When my husband was ill at his suggestion he went in the spare room as he often woke and would use his ipad he said it saved waking me.

We have separate rooms and it improved things a lot for us. My husband has cancer and was uncomfortable at night. I don't sleep well and like to read so it suits us perfectly.
Septimia is right, suggest separate beds as a temporary measure to start with.

For fear of DH even coming remotely near me when I recently fractured my hip albeit in a superking sized bed, I took myself off to another bedroom for three weeks. Rather enjoyed it as I could put a lamp on during the night when sleep was impossible. DH served breakfast in bed every morning and truly pampered me. Something like a dreadful flu has found one of us using this room too. Each of us taking turns to care for the other. It makes sense to us, allowing a temporary set up to suit our needs as we order, off to Ward 10 with you!
We have been married 48 years and prefer to share a bed but needs must when sleep is needed.
I do hope your DH gets word of an OP soon. Three years is a shocking length of time to live in pain. In the meantime a word with his GP about stepping up pain relief should be available.

We have two single beds pushed together, the equivalent of a superking bed.
We each have our own mattress and duvet. It's worked perfectly well for many years and we both sleep much better.

My husband is a snorer and the vibrations through a shared mattress used to keep me awake, quite apart from the noise. I suggested it and he was quick to agree.
Lack of sleep long-term is no joke.

When husband started chemo it was time for separate rooms. We both get some sleep now at least.

Why are people so worried about having separate rooms. We have for a few years now and neither of us would swap back. Much better sleep and more comfortable.

We had single beds pushed together, different firmnesses in mattresses. Individual duvets and bedding. We both slept much better. The beds were 3` wide

We have separate beds, each a small double, but in the same room. Ony for last couple of years, and we both sleep much better now. Having 2 double beds mean we can spend time together if we wish, but both have our own space too. This after 49 years in same bed.

Can you speak to the surgeon's secretary and ask if there is anything that can be done as he cannot sleep and it's all getting too much?
They may do reassessment.

We tend to sleep separately if one of us is having issues. My DH has a painful back and hip, so sometimes will move to the couch for the night. He actually likes it since he can re-arrange pillows and he says it 'cradles' him a bit.

Once in a while I get really restless legs, so will do the same.

We made a switch to a king size bed a few years ago, and that did make a big difference, but occasionally we still will move and let the other sleep.

If it means a better sleep, I can't see why it would upset him.

My DH is still suffering from PHN after shingles 3 1/2 years ago. If his arm is touched it's very painful. I have pains from arthritis and like to spread out. I'm also asthmatic and, if suffering I like to keep the light on to read since it distracts me from thinking about my breathing. Both of us wake up during the night. So last year we moved into separate rooms which means that we both sleep much better.

Lost my post!
Is sleeping together so important in the great scheme of things, especially if one of you is ill?
When DH was first ill, between drenching night sweats and multiple visits to the toilet, we were both up half the night. When he started chemo, it seemed sensible that I slept in a separate room, so I could get a good nights rest and be ready for the trials of the following day. It also meant that DH didn’t feel guilty that he’d kept me awake and he could then stay in bed longer and make up for his own lost sleep.

I've been sleeping downstairs on the sofa for the last month as we have a new puppy. I thought my husband would be beside himself by now but it doesn't seem like he's bothered. The sofa is far more comfortable than our Adjustamatic bed and I've slept well.

We now sleep in separate rooms and I much prefer it. If I can't sleep I can put the light on and read. Also he is a loud snorer and it is good to get away from that! There's nothing stopping us visiting for a cuddle.

We have had separate bedrooms ever since I finally came home after my brain injury. It works well and it’s the only way either of us can get some sleep. It’s not a problem in a 4-bedroomed house.

We’ve had separate rooms (each with a 5ft bed!) for a couple of years now. My DH brings tea in the morning and we usually chat (or something…) for at least an hour. We both sleep so much better now. I know I snore although my DH pretends he never hears me!

OH had a new hip about 6 months after I moved in, always a double bed before and after. We swapped sides to make it easier for a few weeks after, that aside not too much problem

If pain is keeping your man awake at night it’s time to have the hip done, go back and raise hell they do have cancellations, for long term pain relief the stronger medications have side effects

We’ve had separate rooms for some years. OH sleeps very badly and would keep me awake half the night.

As said above, there is a half-way alternative- 2 separate beds, but in same room. We sleep so much better in our own bed, with own duvet, but I'd hate to sleep in separate bedroom.

tanith

When my husband was ill at his suggestion he went in the spare room as he often woke and would use his ipad he said it saved waking me.

We do this at times of pain or illness, it does help both of us to sleep better.Suggest to your husband that he may have a more restful night, but be prepared for him to not want you to move as some people may see this as a rejection.So it is a suggestion only to him?

We have not shared a room for years and it gives you so much more leaway to do your own thing. DH gets up hours before me as he is not a good sleeper and can listen to the radio in the night if he needs to. I can listen to my talking books to get to sleep or in the night so it keeps both of us happy. We still laugh about the second night of our honeymoon . We were just picking hotels as we toured around and on the second night DH was told by the hotel they only had twin beds to offer us . He was worried I would not agree to this so he was astonished to see the large smile on my face thinking about my own bed. Easy to see we had not lived together before we married.

I have a lot of pain at night and look longingly at the nice big double memory foam mattress bed going begging in the next room. D H won't hear of it...He thinks I am contemplating divorce if I suggest it. I would love a double bed to myself.