It makes me very angry to think your OH has waited 3 years for surgery - it is a disgrace.
I moved into another room when my OH was so ill - he was totally paranoid and thought I was going to kill him. It was intolerable. He was angry about it, but self-preservation was the name of the game. A bit of me still feels bad about it. But there was nothing else to be done.
Last weekend, in Rutland, the first statue in Britain of the late Elizabeth II was unveiled.