Do you remind your adult children about sending cards ?

Bit harsh Doodledog I love to receive birthday & Christmas cards they cheer me up and I know someone has thought about me. Nothing to do with boasting about my popularity or lack of it.

sodapop

Bit harsh Doodledog I love to receive birthday & Christmas cards they cheer me up and I know someone has thought about me. Nothing to do with boasting about my popularity or lack of it.

I do send them to my older relatives who like to show them off as they see having lots of them as proof that they are popular. I think that is an unhealthy way to think

I suppose we're elderly, it's nothing to do with popularity or not, it's just good to know someone has remembered, especially if you rarely see them.

That's reminded me, a friend's birthday is soon, we don't usually exchange cards but it's a milestone birthday this year. Mind you, when we get older, every birthday is a milestone and better than the alternative.

Cards, housework, washing and many others, my mother is 91 and does this to me every time. She says she likes things done properly which means her way. I don’t care anymore I just tell her to p… off. Or the two finger salute. After helping her for 30 odd years with no help I just don’t care anymore. I now do things just to annoy her. So anyone in a similar trap has my sympathy. I don’t send cards now just to my elderly aunt but this will all end

sodapop

Bit harsh Doodledog I love to receive birthday & Christmas cards they cheer me up and I know someone has thought about me. Nothing to do with boasting about my popularity or lack of it.

I really don't mean to be harsh, and understand that it's good to know someone is thinking of you. But wouldn't a text do that? A message directly from the person, rather than a verse or greeting written by someone else and just signed?

As I say, I do send them to people I know would be upset otherwise, but I just don't understand the obligation, and the 'couldn't even be bothered' comments. They just guilt people into doing something that they may prefer not to do - whether for ecological reasons, financial reasons or just because they don't feel like contributing to the profits of Hallmark or Paperchase. That is their decision to make - it doesn't mean they don't care or aren't thinking about the birthday person, and all the reminders and guilt tripwire really not fair.

My in laws' golden wedding anniversary present went astray and didn't turn up for some weeks because it had been delivered to the wrong address. My mother in law told my daughter how upset she was that I hadn't sent anything when at least my son had remembered to send a card. My daughter told me that she knew her brother had only sent a card because I told him to and she had great difficulty carrying on a civil conversation with granny.

tripwire? What world does Autocorrect inhabit? . I doubt I have ever sent a text or written a post with the word 'tripwire' in it.

I meant the reminders and guilt trips are not fair.

I remind my adult children but if they choose not to, I leave it at that. Quite honestly, if anybody is upset about the lack of cards, they can take it up with the children themselves.

Nowadays young people tend to text. It's the thought that counts.

No.

The only exception would be if there were a very very elderly and incapacitated rellie left who really needed it, but none left in generation above me, and I doubt they would forget such a rellie as I'd be giving bits and bobs of news as appropriate.

I can say I would be very upset if DS and DiL forgot my birthday or christmas altogether but I dont think thats what the O/P means.

Dragonfly46, never saw a birthday calendar when I lived in The Netherlands but what a really great idea. Should hang a pen with it so new friends could write on their own birthdays! I want one of my own now!