Adult son girlfriend

Yes it's getting quite commen men he's a quiet lad who is laid back

OP - you are not treating him as an adult.
How humiliating to have one’s mum ring up work to see if you are OK?

Op

Please tell me i misread and your son does know to clean and take care of himself

Yes what I meant was when he was living at home not a lot was asked of him even though I have six others he had his own room If that makes sense and I rang his work after weeks of him not contacting any one since Christmas

As I said her behaviour when we took her away at Christmas showed all there's alot more to the storey with the way she is if he wanted to be treated like adult he was asking us for money after Christmas because she had spent all his money on various holidays etc gifts for her like I said he has nothing now

He is living at her mum's house yet he working fifty plus hours a week and still has no money he never had a winter coat it's finacal abuse the girlfriend only works one day a week he was staying up till four his work said to do her college work then he had work at twelve and taking her to college on days he had work this why I approached the girlfriend she's walking round fine decent shoes coat clothes etc

The girlfriend has stayed at our house a handful of times from October last year till Christmas so only couple of months it lasted before I realised what was going on bearing in mind they have been together three years I had only met her three times before that the rest of the time he was always at her house hence why me asking her what's going on why she has stopped him seeing us is because she knows his family know what's she's doing

You really do need to let go of this Mumzyto7 you are making yourself unhappy not to say other family members. Your son is old enough to take responsibility for himself, you can't keep blaming his girlfriend for everything.

It does sound as if your son could be in an abusive relationship Mumzyto7 which is understandably heart breaking and frightening for you, but there's nothing you can do apart from keeping the lines of communication open.

If they have been together for 3 years, it is not a new relationship

She could be the mother of her kids.

I say this kindly - your obsession with your son is driving him away

Your posts are intense and i am sure ir shows irl

When or if he has kids, what kind of relationship you expect?
You still have time to address this, apologize and fix this

Please do teach your kids to be self suficientent - you did not do your son any favours

Smileless2012

It does sound as if your son could be in an abusive relationship Mumzyto7 which is understandably heart breaking and frightening for you, but there's nothing you can do apart from keeping the lines of communication open.

Leaping to conclusions, perhaps?
Perhaps he has chosen his girlfriend and her family over what sounds like a claustrophobic atmosphere at home.

If his girlfriend is as bad as you say she is, and he’s been with her for past three years he’s well aware of what’s going on, you cannot interfere in your sons relationship. He will see her for what she is, she can’t keep him prisoner.

Mother of his kids, obviously

I blame the lack of coffee

No kids as yet thankfully I wont be saying nothing to him no more yes hopefully he see the light soon that's all I can hope I have very good intention wouldn't call it claustrophobic just looking out for them he was very happy at home over a year ago things have changed but that's life thanks for all your advice the only time I am gonna message him. Will be his 21 birthday been out today and cleared head but I will say just before Christmas he was asking me for help about the situation and moaning about her so I thought I would try that's all

No I din't think so Foxygloves.