“You’re here to help not to have cuddles”

We do not know the full story here but grandparents have to tread carefully these days. The new parents are getting to grips with parenthood. Just try to be as supportive as you can and accept how they want to bring up baby. Offer to help - take a meal/cake and see how the land lies.

Yes, we need to know more, please, as in what is correct language? I am sorry but I am getting a sense of modern parenting coming to the fore and not just good old fashioned family ties where people rubbed along together. Is your new daughter in law very nervous? What is she like with her own mother? Was you son always like this? Or, sorry to ask, but are you full of ideas as to what should be done and they want clear parenting themselves? Whatever, I would furious at being spoken to like that. But then again I am an old witch.

Strange thing to say to ones mum. Need to know more.

As some on here will know, I am blunt since birth, refuse or cannot change .....do not get invited/ welcomed often

Herefornow

You've started a 2nd thread by accident perhaps?

This does sound a bit ott, but they will be exhausted and stressed out of their minds. Not to mention dil will have huge amounts of hormones etc telling her to keep anything that feels remotely threating away. If you have not had a close relationship previously or have been perceived as unsupportive/judgmental/dismissive/demanding/anything like that, she might be feeling a very powerful instinct to keep you at arms length. Your son might be trying to head off a diplomatic incident while hormones are high and sleep quality is low, knowing that in a couple weeks everyone will be feeling more like themselves again? My advice would be to just trust him and go with it. Be helpful and supportive, offer to make your own cups of tea when you're there, prioritise mum and baby - it's their time right now.

Please do not fall into the trap of 'I have never been/felt/acted like any of the above so therefore I will stubbornly bulldoze on through whatever this is'. Sometimes people percieve things differently to how you've meant them. That doesn't take them horrible people, just mistaken. The thing is you won't change that perception by getting in a snit about it, the better way to correct this is to demonstrate the sort of person you actually are in your actions. So demonstrate your respect for the new parents, help them etc.

I hope you and your grandchild have a lovely bond, in good time.

I think there is a lot for any of us to think about in this post.

Walk softly OP

Good luck

Also what are these correct words?

You've started a 2nd thread by accident perhaps?

This does sound a bit ott, but they will be exhausted and stressed out of their minds. Not to mention dil will have huge amounts of hormones etc telling her to keep anything that feels remotely threating away. If you have not had a close relationship previously or have been perceived as unsupportive/judgmental/dismissive/demanding/anything like that, she might be feeling a very powerful instinct to keep you at arms length. Your son might be trying to head off a diplomatic incident while hormones are high and sleep quality is low, knowing that in a couple weeks everyone will be feeling more like themselves again? My advice would be to just trust him and go with it. Be helpful and supportive, offer to make your own cups of tea when you're there, prioritise mum and baby - it's their time right now.

Please do not fall into the trap of 'I have never been/felt/acted like any of the above so therefore I will stubbornly bulldoze on through whatever this is'. Sometimes people percieve things differently to how you've meant them. That doesn't take them horrible people, just mistaken. The thing is you won't change that perception by getting in a snit about it, the better way to correct this is to demonstrate the sort of person you actually are in your actions. So demonstrate your respect for the new parents, help them etc.

I hope you and your grandchild have a lovely bond, in good time.

Have you met the baby yet?
It sounds rude to me. Are you his mother?
I wouldn't like being spoken to like that and would say so.