Leaving something on your plate you dislike

It wasn't so much the leaving something that bothered you, was it, btw, as your son's sulky, childish behaviour which does indeed sound ridiculous?

You say he is generally a moaner so maybe he is getting worse as he gets older.

I think that some single people, although not selfish, prioritise their needs and wants over someone with others to think about and it comes across as sulking when they don't get what they want.

Was I wrong to feel annoyed that my 38 year old son acted like this, he is generally a moaner but really why not just shove it to one side and get on with your meal.

No, you're not wrong to have your own feelings.

I completely agree with your son about the vileness of coleslaw and about it not being mentioned on the menu.

I completely agree with you about his ridiculous behaviour.

Your son is a manchild. I wonder what the 5 children around the table thought of his manners.

Someone I know essentially says, dont sweat the small stuff in life.

Though I suspect your post maybe a bit more about his attitude in general?

Your reaction was perfectly understandable. I would also be annoyed if a 38 year-old son of mine behaved like that. Have you told him how childish he was being? Your silence could be taken as positive/neutral reinforcement of a negative behaviour. If you just keep shtumm, don't be surprised when it, or something very similar happens again.

Maybe he really does loathe it and its proximity to his food upset him. Coleslaw is the sort of thing my kids would have heaved at when they were young. My daughter had marmite sandwiches in her packed lunch for years because she didn’t like anything else. I once put a miniscule piece of cheese in one sandwich so I could say see, you can eat cheese, but it made her retch. And I bought her a jar of kimchi recently because I’m into fermented food and she gave it back saying she’d opened one that I’d left in her fridge and it had made her feel sick. I think it’s a primeval thing, something that has made us nauseous at one time in our life makes us want to avoid it in future. I had a favourite soup that I’d eaten prior to coming down with a really nasty virus and I still don’t enjoy it because my brain associates it with the illness. If only it worked for chocolate and biscuits! Oh and one time I was sitting at the other end of the room and sprinkled Parmesan cheese on my spaghetti bol and both of them went ‘ mum’s eating sick again’ ( it doessmell horrible!)

My lot would have laughed at him and one greedy adult would have scooped it onto their plate !
I do think he overreacted , and I can understand your feelings

He could have called a waiter and asked for fish and chips without coleslaw if it bothered him all that much.

And have told the eatery that coleslaw with F & C should be on the menu.

Coleslaw is a strange thing to have with fish and chips.

He should have just coped but I don't think you should mention it - he is 38 after all and his mum pulling him up might not go down too well.

As much as we love them, I think most of our children at sometime during their adult life will do something, in our presence that embarrasses us or exasperates us.

This was your D(?)S's turn.

No you weren't wrong to feel annoyed. But this reminds me of my younger sister who was an extremely finicky eater all her life. She was loving, brilliant, hardworking and the most fun person I ever knew but she was childlike about eating. For instance, she had an aversion to pickles and couldn't bear the thought of the juice getting on something else on the plate. She always requested no pickles but if one ever appeared on the plate, she'd make the same face as your son and send it all back. It was just a quirk she had and part of who she was and we accepted it, probably easier to do since she was not generally a moaner. As a side note, like your son she didn't have children. She knew herself well and made that decision. I miss her every day so thank you op for sparking what for me is a sweet memory.

I would have told him, stop being a baby and eat around it or scoop it of off the plate, bigger problems in the world.

I'm sure many of us have been in a similar situation, but if I had something on my plate I didn't like, I'd just leave it or scrape it to the side. I certainly wouldn't make a fuss like a toddler having a tantrum. If that had been my adult son, I'd have been mortified! And I'd have told him so!

His behaviour is childish, the least amount of attention given to him the better

Hmm - maybe why he's single ?!

Sounds like he was overreacting & causing a fuss, why not keep quiet & just push it to one side. That said, I do wonder why so many restaurants now feel the need to add totally unnecessary accompaniments to traditional dishes, if it had been a dollop of tartare sauce served with fish n chips it would have made sense but coleslaw?!

I dislike any kind of sauce ,colsaw ,mayonnaise and don't like oil on my salad ,I wish they would serve these things in little pots ,saying that in company I would have pushed it to one side.

I’d be mortified, but I’d also be flabbergasted if my grandchildren (10&15) did this, never mind my son.
So no, I don’t blame you for your reaction.

I would feel a bit annoyed if it was my son but best to just let it go. Don't let it become something bigger than it is.

very immature behaviour.. how about him considering the feelings of his fellow diners? such an entitled attitude

It’s his behaviour, I would just ignore it why worry it’s not your behaviour You say he’s a moaner anyway so he was just living up to your expectations
He ate his food up like a good boy just had a baby like winge before doing it I d have forgotten about it by now not really a big deal is it ?

not really a big deal is it?

Err.. yes it is a big deal I think. OP says that that they took the family out to lunch and so I would imagine that means that she paid the bill for everyone. Her son was rude and bad mannered to have behaved like a 3 year old, just because something was on his plate that he wasn't keen on and he embarrassed his hosts with his poor behaviour. Eating his food up like a good boy is perfectly sufficient as good table manners when you're 8 years old but a little more is required when you're 38 years old. A baby like winge (sic) is always reserved only for babies - a clue is in there somewhere. Although I suppose that's entirely dependent upon one's own standards of good table manners.