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How to keep 12 year old granddaughter occupied and happy

(57 Posts)
anna7 Sun 30-Jul-23 09:51:25

I am hoping that that some grans can give me some ideas about how to keep my 12 year old granddaughter occupied during the school holidays. For reasons I don't want to go to on a public forum, my granddaughter is spending most of her time with me and dh . She is not near any of her school friends and I just don't know how to keep her busy, especially as she is a bit upset and subdued at the moment. She spends a lot of time on her phone and watches films etc but obviously that's not a good idea for all day. She is not into crafts etc, and has no hobbies as such. I bake with her sometimes but I can't think of anything else. She hates coming on walks with the dog. It doesn't help that I have to spend quite a lot of time with my mother who is very elderly. I would really appreciate any advice. Thank you in advance

BlueBelle Sun 30-Jul-23 17:50:50

Another thought are there any jobs around the house she can do for you to earn a few pence 12 year olds are pretty capable if allowed to be
(remember a lot of older member were working soon after 12)
My grandkids all starting working ….paper rounds etc at 12/13
Just a thought there’s nothing like a bit of pocket money for helping pass the day

Witzend Sun 30-Jul-23 17:57:07

Would she like a jigsaw, I wonder? She’d probably say no and make a face if you actually asked, but if you got one for yourself, started doing it and were then ‘too busy’ or ‘found it a bit difficult’….. They can be quite addictive!

Shelflife Sun 30-Jul-23 18:41:07

Our 12 GS stays overnight with us fairly regularly, he often just wants to ' chill' Last time he came he said he would like to cook a meal . I gave him a recipe book and he chose a dish to cook, wrote the ingredients down then we went to supermarket and bought the ingredients. Back home he followed the cooking method ( with a bit of help) and made a delicious chicken casserole. He was delighted with the result! Your GD is the same age and may enjoy that activity too. Let her choose the recipe, select the ingredients and get cooking. Your post implies your GD is having a tough time just now , I am sure she appreciates being with you even if you think she is bored - you are there for her that is so important. Good luck.

Imarocker Sun 30-Jul-23 22:08:25

Our GD of that age likes board games - Labyrinth - and Rummicub and UNO. There are lots of games you can play with a pack of cards. How about giving her a match box and telling her to find 30 items that will fit in it? Flying Tiger have loads of cheap craft materials. Does she like to paint? Jigsaws can be relaxing and can be done together. Maybe buy a puzzle book and an adult colouring book.
I very much second the idea of sitting side by side either in a car or on a bus/ train. They talk much more when you aren’t looking at them. If she has something to do - even a book - then I think she should be going with you to visit your DM.

Sara1954 Sun 30-Jul-23 22:36:56

Not an age where you can really make her enjoy something, and most things are done with friends, not a lot of fun going swimming or trampolining or whatever alone.
Are there cousins or family friends you could invite over? If not, I would think she would jump at the chance of having a friend visit.
Frankly, I would be very surprised if you could interest her with crafts, but in my experience, shopping always hits the spot.

Chardy Mon 31-Jul-23 08:40:21

Go to a charity shop with her and she chooses a board game for you 2 to play. She has to sort out the rules though.

NotSpaghetti Mon 31-Jul-23 11:55:28

Shelflife I think this is a great idea.

My son used to do this - but of course he found his recipes online!

Juniper1 Mon 31-Jul-23 13:13:14

Manicure. Pedicure. She could choose and book online.
Get her hair done
She could choose and book a restaurant online.
Give her some research tasks.
Can you afford to let her shop online? Next is good for teenage girls and deliver next day.
She could “earn” money by doing some jobs and be allowed to spend in local Boots/ wherever while you have a coffee nearby.
Learn to bake. Find recipes online, shop for ingredients.
My now 11 year old granddaughter comes most school holidays. We do all of the above and cinema/theatre
She has done local playschemes
Really depends on your locality and what funds you have available.
Some great ideas on this forum

Hazel07 Mon 31-Jul-23 13:35:40

Hi I know how you feel
My grandchildren are (because of circumstances) subdued and difficult to engage
I guess we have to accept there is only so much we can achieve even if we wish for more

Foxygloves Mon 31-Jul-23 13:47:41

I have my 11 year old GS this week. So far we have walked the dog, he has mucked about on the adventure playground equipment, we have driven to B&Q for paint, as he is hoping to paint the shed tomorrow! Watched a bit of the Ashes now are going to see Mission Impossible. He is making tonight's supper Quesadillas (sp) then we might watch an episode of Outnumbered together.
Just my suggestions of course, but cooking, baking, going to the library and choosing some books, going to Barbie
maybe out for pancakes, a trip to a country park maybe making something - learning to knit or crochet or patchwork. Take her swimming.
Think back to what you did with your own children. Enjoy her company!

JLR1220 Mon 31-Jul-23 14:07:37

What movies does she watch? That could give a hint into her interests? Is she away from her own home due to family issues? Could you recommend that she begin writing a book of her own for other young girls? A journal? Can she babysit for someone in your neighborhood? Get a pen pal from another country? Could you have her pick out a recipe to try cooking? Other home skills? Are there any interesting supposedly haunted places around that you could visit and tour? See a performance? Concert? Definitely check out the events at the library. A train ride? Fold up pieces of paper with the names of local places to visit in a bowl and select. Good luck!!

4allweknow Mon 31-Jul-23 14:26:21

Can you go swimming? Some pools are offering special rates over school holidays. No mixing or joining in required but can boost mood a bit. Any animal centres eg rescue centres where public have access. Animals can be comforting. Even a bit of gardening. My 12 year old GD isn't into this but does seem to enjoy trundling up and down with the lawnmower and in autumn using the leaf blower. Both seem to get a few smiles of how clever I've been. Do you need a fence painted? GD loved doing that with me during Easter holidays. Jigsaws, board games with jelly bean prizes. Shopping for something to wear never goes amiss. Try not to "fix" her. Just go with the flow as they say. Security abd knowing she is not going to be interrogated about "what's wrong with you". If she wants, she will give little indications and you can respond then. Good Luck, hope your time together benefits you both.

Zoe65 Mon 31-Jul-23 14:26:52

One idea is to scour the local coach companies trips.in school holidays thru usually go to theme parks ,shows in London or cities near by .,and other places you don’t want to drive to .
Charity shops if you know somewhere with lots and lunches out ,go karting tho better with a friend,cinema,shopping generally ,these places like go ape with rope ladders etc etc,
All this stuff costs money but it’s only for a short period so make the most of it .

Sara1954 Mon 31-Jul-23 14:35:39

Juniper
I agree with what you say, my two thirteen year olds love getting their nails done and shopping. We are lucky enough to have a lovely outdoor pool, but there wouldn’t be much fun going alone.
Board games are an option, Netflix could keep a teenager going for months.

Bluedaisy Mon 31-Jul-23 14:42:28

My just turned 14 year old grandson used to stay with us every weekend so mum & dad could work, I used to take him to hobbycraft and buy him the items to make Xmas cards or birthday cards etc and sit with him and do it together, also as been mentioned before download the App free prints 45 on her phone and send off the photos which she would like to put in a scrapbook and a bit about them or maybe you take some photos of photos you have of your parents and her mum or dad when they were smaller and she can build her own memory album. How about a cinema afternoon, my husband always goes with DGS. When I used to look after my nieces I’d take them for a manicure and have mine done at the same time or buy her a couple of items of clothes on a shopping and lunch out day? One other thing see what’s on at the theatre especially if you live near to London, they have some good matinee deals on in the holidays sometimes.

chelseababy Mon 31-Jul-23 15:27:32

How about doing a family tree? Familysearch is free and there are lots of other free resources.

Gundy Mon 31-Jul-23 15:43:51

I have one great niece that age. Being twelve is on the precipice of growing into teen-hood. It’s kind of a brutal age coming out of puberty into young “womanhood.” They can be emotional and unsure of themselves.

There are advanced 12 yr olds (mature, responsible, astute) and 12 yr olds who are not quite all that, yet.

I think she misses her friend(s). She has no one to relate to while there, to talk and socialize with. If some girlfriend would come and visit I think you’d see an immediate change in her outlook. Not just for one day (as she’d have to get used to you too) but a few days so they can actually accomplish something. A really fun thing is to make friendship bracelets using embroidery floss, not that expensive. They will find their own level of fun.

If possible, can you enlist a (friendly) neighboring teen to be a guide around your neighborhood? Library, ice cream, movie? You’d have to know this family.

Admit you don’t know what she’d like to do and just ask her. Say you want her to be happy - not lonely or bored.
Good luck!
USA Gundy

Applegran Mon 31-Jul-23 17:01:12

I wonder if there are any things she would be capable to do, or could learn to do, which you could honestly tell her would be helpful/useful for you or others? We all want, somewhere in us, to be useful at some level - and not necessarily have a big fuss made, but hear e.g. "It really helped that you did XYZ for me/my neighbour/the charity shop........thank you"

Juicylucy Mon 31-Jul-23 17:16:13

Bear in mind her age, her hormones will be starting to play a part at this age, on top of being sad. I have 13 ye old granddaughters and they can be tad difficult to keep occupied. I really wouldn’t push anything on her you want your home to be happy place for her. Phones while not ideal, but it will allow her to keep in touch with what’s going on with her friends back home. Petting farms are good as the animals make them engage. I’d let her lead the way see what occurs.

growstuff Mon 31-Jul-23 17:22:09

chelseababy

How about doing a family tree? Familysearch is free and there are lots of other free resources.

Linked to that, do you have any old family photos? At about that age, my daughter's grandmother once asked her to digitise and sort out a load of old photos, which kept her busy for hours.

Chardy Mon 31-Jul-23 17:38:15

growstuff

chelseababy

How about doing a family tree? Familysearch is free and there are lots of other free resources.

Linked to that, do you have any old family photos? At about that age, my daughter's grandmother once asked her to digitise and sort out a load of old photos, which kept her busy for hours.

Just came online to say the same thing! Many (all?) libraries can give you access to 'Find my past' which has censuses going back to 1841.
www.findmypast.co.uk
And www.freebmd.org.uk is brilliant - she can look up Mum & Dad births and marriage etc - and it's free.

tictacnana Mon 31-Jul-23 18:39:47

Keeping a diary 📔 s always a good idea, especially on rainy days. I started one at the beginning of lockdown and still do it . Assure her that it will be PRIVATE. Or a pen friend… the granddaughter of a friend, perhaps. Story writing. I loved this as a child and , being disabled, some of my pastimes were quite solitary. Family history… research and making a tree. Gardening ? Nice and hands on ! Good luck ! BTW . My two 12 yr old GC LOVE a game called ADVERTS. Take turns to write the name of a product, swap papers and then write what a product does. The resulting mis- matches are good for a laugh and you can adapt the game to other genres with a bit of thought.

ileea Mon 31-Jul-23 18:42:25

Is it impossible to take her with you to your mom's? My 13 year-old son goes over to my mom's and helps out. He's even learned how to do pedicures on her. My mom is 82 .

rocketstop Mon 31-Jul-23 18:57:26

Can you get old family photos out ? Show her what fashions have come around again, show her what her parents were like at her age, what you were like at her age.

Do you have any jewellery or clothes she could help to sort out or ask her what stuff of yours she thinks you should get rid of etc , at that age they like their opinions to be taken seriously.

anna7 Mon 31-Jul-23 19:48:31

Thanks ladies. Some great ideas here. I especially like the charity shop suggestion. She is at her other grandma's for a couple of days which is giving us both a breather but I will definitely be putting some of these great ideas in to practice.