Birthday ideas for sister in law seriously ill

Wonderful, thoughtful gift ideas! A little gift bag with a nail color, lotion, life savers, magazine, Hershey kisses…. give her a mani…

Thankyou everyone. A great response from you all. Very grateful xxx

I second Glorianny's suggestion of a heated throw. They are very cosy, and if she's too tired to do much except watch TV she might appreciate one.

I also recommend sleep headphones, so she can listen to music, books, hypnosis or other sound apps in bed or whilst having chemo. This sort of thing. I love mine, and listen to an app with rain sounds which helps me sleep, as I feel snug and dry listening to it. I sometimes play audiobooks, too, but you can choose anything you can play on your phone. You bluetooth them to your phone or iPad/laptop, and once they are set up they are very easy to use (setting them up is easy too, but if she's not used to Bluetooth you could do it for her).

So sorry to hear your sad news Blacktabby.
Lots of good ideas on here. I think lounge pj’s would be a good gift. Easy to wear and wash. I’d steer clear of anything perfumed.
When my brother was very ill, he couldn’t bear any scents or perfumed cleaning products. I’m sure whatever you choose, your SIL will appreciate it. 💐

A nice big cake and some nice smelling luxury bath products

If it's not too expensive, a cashmere poncho would be nice.

Is there something she has always wanted to do, like a ride in a posh car or motorbike? Facebook is a wonderful place to ask for someone for things like that. Recently a call went out for someone with a motorbike to visit an elderly gentleman on his Birthday. Over 500 turned up making his day.

Great idea. Thankyou xx

Some great ideas posted. I know this an old fashioned concept but how about a bed jacket?

Could you go through your family photos & find some from times you were all together in the past & sit and go through them and just chat about friends etc.Take a nice smoothie over & some small different flavoured yogurts to put in the fridge.
Time spent with her is most precious to you both & just find out if there is anything she wants to do,say or write.Magazins are best as well as she can pick them up and it’s easier than concentrating on a book.

If you think she'd like reading but holding a book is too tiring, how about audible books that she could listen to from her phone? Either a subscription or helping her with her library's online app (which you could confirm with her library). Then perhaps even curating a list of books that she might enjoy hearing? (She might need earbuds or ... my favorite ... bone conducting earphones.)

So sorry. I know mg cousins wife enjoyed massage. Apart from that, just being with her.

Someone had already said but a Photo album with pictures through the ages.
My BiL passed away on Friday after a 6th month illness,bless him he never got out of Hospital after being admitted, but he had a poster sorted out by his daughter which was on his hospital room wall of all his family, plus my neice put together an Album of photos.
It was lovely.

Unfortunately room diffusers are not good for someone with lung cancer nor are candles. Sorry to hear the news but there are some good suggestions I like the throw and company ones best.

Something that smells nice, maybe a perfume from her youth? My mum when I'll was so pleased when I managed to get some for her. It sparked many happy memories for her. She was only 52, I also got her a pair of beautiful soft bed socks that were a great comfort near the end

She must be feeling low.
Remind her she is cared about.
I once received a little jar from the family with notes of why I am important to them. Simple statements that have been re read many times. Some were shared memories some were feelings.
A flower card is a nice thing to receive too and the words are your own. They don't need any care and last for weeks. Other than that just offer your time. A chat. A visit. A practical task.

So sorry to hear this.
Soft socks, hot water bottle. Books, maybe cordial drinks as I know taste buds change.

Some lovely flowers of a nice plant?

If she already has throws she might appreciate a heated one. I was given one last Christmas and it is so comforting and relaxing. It's like a hot bath without the extra fuss of running it and getting in. And as the evenings get colder you don't need to put on the heating as much.

I’m sorry to read your SIL is going to succumb to the cancer. It’s terrible knowing you have limited life left. I think there is very little you can give her at this point that will mean anything to her or give her a lift.

There are some very good ideas here, but I feel she will appreciate you being there for a morning or an afternoon, just sitting by her side, whether you have conversation or not, just quietly reading, knitting beside her while she rests, watching a movie or tv, getting water or food per her request, whatever she needs. It’s all about her now. God bless her.
USA Gundy

My mums last Christmas was like this.We got her a new hoo water bottle with a thick snuggly cover and some nice smelling hand and body lotion.the hottie went down a treat!

So sorry to hear about your Sister-in-Law. As for a gift, when my MIL was very poorly, we compiled a photo album for her and everyone wrote little messages inside; she really loved it. Maybe an option for your SIL?

Some lovely suggestions here.... I would add that sense of taste/smell is affected by drugs so not to be offended if a favourite item is disliked. My late brother poured a fine bottle of wine down drain as he thought it was 'off'. Music sustained my very elderly mother to the end when she had turned away from television. Also she had a great sense of humour and enjoyed the 'golden oldies'... perhaps a CD of some of the best radio shows that are timeless?

At this sad stage, I think spending precious time with your SIL is the most precious gift you can give.

So sorry to hear your sad news.

What you do about your SILs upcoming birthday depends very much on whether she wants her life to go on as normal, or whether she is feeling that there is no point in anything as she is dying, or whether she needs time to make up her mind whether she believes the prognosis and whether she wants to fight on, or not.

This may not seem a particularly helpful answer, but seen from where I stand, as a wife with a husband dealing with a similar prognosis, I feel that the best love and support we can offered must be based on how the person with the condition and prognosis is feeling right now.

If you and she cannot discuss her illness and the prospects at present, then buy her something nice from the many suggestions given, or invite her out for a short drive in your car, if she is well enough, and you drive, and if you write a card avoid traditional ones that say Happy Birthday or Many Happy Returns, simply put "with love" on a plain card and sign your name.