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Funeral plans..

(62 Posts)
Enidd Sun 17-Sep-23 20:31:09

Have you made any? If so, what are they?
I know I don’t want to buried so I’m thinking a cremation but does it always have to be at the cemetery or can my ashes be placed elsewhere?
Sorry hope this question doesn’t offend or upset, if so please ignore it thanks.

Wishes Tue 26-Sep-23 11:20:06

Well, I know this is a serious subject but have you watched the film "What We Did On Our Holiday"?

Yes, watched it twice. Great film has you laughing and crying!

Aldom Tue 26-Sep-23 11:35:27


A wicker coffin cost £4 thousand. What a waste. I’ve paid Pure cremation up front.

A wicker coffin does not cost £4,000.
We chose a wicker coffin for our adult son.
It was made in Somerset. That was a few years ago.
I have checked with the company and currently they are between £400 - £900.
If you needed to pay less I think the coffins made in China are cheaper. But I would not have wanted anything imported.

M0nica Tue 26-Sep-23 16:57:23

Alldom I agree,
I have just googled the price of wicker coffins and came up with this:
Wicker coffins vary in price and generally range between £400-£900. Much of this variability is determined by the materials used and the level of personalisation.

Shinamae Tue 26-Sep-23 17:03:50

Burn and return for me, all paid for with Pure cremation…

Iam64 Tue 26-Sep-23 19:27:09

my daughters know I’d like a wicker coffin and to be buried with their dad. It’s all personal choice. I wish everyone respected each others choices. Not everyone wants a pure cremation

Whiff Wed 27-Sep-23 06:28:01

I said to my daughter last year I was thinking about pre paying for a cremation only. She said no mom I want a funeral so said ok I will prepaid for a funeral . She said no mom that is my reasonability when you die. So I said ok but no flowers . She said it will be like dad's . We are atheist's had a non religious funeral no flowers as they are for the living not the dead. We asked if anyone wanted to donate the money would go to the cancer ward where my husband was treated. We went with the Co Op. The funeral director did the service and had written a lovely eulogy after speaking to us and after we approved it. We had 3 pieces of pop music my daughter picked a Franz Ferdinand song to go into, joint choice of a Damian Price song for the lowering of the coffin and my choice of Mr Blue Sky by ELO for leaving the crem. Ironic as it was raining . This was 2004 my husband was 47. We raised over £5,000 and the money was spent on things the patients needed like a fan for ones home ,bottle of whiskey for another . Simple things that just made a difference to them at home. Doing it that way meant a lot of cancer patients got what gave them pleasure. As many know it's no fun having cancer and many survive. But for those who like my husband who knew from his diagnosis he wouldn't live 5 years he lived 3 having a treat means the world.

It's a sad fact I would like to think it's down to people being more cancer aware the figure was 1 in 3 get cancer when my husband had his now it's 1 in 2 get cancer. But I don't know .

My husband had a grade 4 malignant melanoma which appeared overnight in his hair line in line with his right eye . When my husband died 2,000 people died from skin cancer a month . He died in agony from 6 tumours. Even on full oxygen he couldn't breath he had 3 tumours in his right lung one in his middle of his chest and 2 by the optical nerve which was sending him blind. He died at home with me and our children. I had to tell him to stop fighting we would be ok. He died a few minutes later.

I know the OP started this about funerals . But as we are into the autumn please still be skin aware as the winter sun can be just as dangerous as the summer .

It saddens me I still see adults and children with sunburn . The children especially as I would dearly love to give the parents a good shaking and point out they are risking their child's life.

Skin cancer in this country still isn't taken seriously enough. And yet people die every week from it. I don't want anyone to go through what my husband did. And the ironic thing was as an adult he never sun bathed but his oncologist told us it was from when he was a child and spending hours in the sun on the beach playing. We where both born in late 50's only thing on the market was sun oil which fried your skin. No suntan cream . He's parents could afford the oil mine couldn't.

His oncologist said we all carry cancer in our bodies it's just the luck of the draw whether its activated or not. And on that note I will end my ramble.

twiglet77 Wed 27-Sep-23 08:59:00

I’d prefer a direct cremation, no service, and ashes scattered on my favourite sand dunes, but I imagine the family will do whatever they want when the time comes - I won’t be there to argue!

M0nica Wed 27-Sep-23 16:27:26

I am with you twiglet77. Funerals are for the living, not the dead, so while my children know broadly what kind of send off I would like, I am leaving it to them to decide how they want to dispose of my remnants.

It strikes me as rather selfish to go and completely organise an event that will be after your death, without any regard for what those left behind to mourn would prefer.

Iam64 Wed 27-Sep-23 18:46:38

whiff, your story brings home the impact of suffering and the importance the living place on commemorating loss/bereavement.
I agree with MOnica - funerals are for the living, not the dead

DiamondLily Sun 01-Oct-23 09:02:28

DH wanted our ashes scattered together, so I collected them, and they are tucked away in a top box, in my bedroom. I don't want to see them though.

When I die, DD will collect my ashes and scatter them both somewhere - I've got no preference where she does this.

He had a "normal" funeral, not a direct one, and I want the same.🙂

OlvaMaria Mon 25-Dec-23 12:59:12

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