I spend £50 on each grandchild, and £50 per couple for my 3 AC. I think that’s plenty, the younger GC are so much easier to buy an actual present for. The older ones tend to get money or a voucher. I’ve brought the AC & their partners a chocolate wreath from Hotel Chocolat as a little extra to go with their voucher/money. They look delicious but were much smaller than I thought they’d be when they arrived.
For years my mum has said ‘I’m cutting down, there’s too many of them now’!! She never has! As they say It’s better to give with a warm hand but only if you can afford it.
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Xmas money as gifts for adults
(77 Posts)Can I ask how much to give adult children and grandchildren.
I already have bought my gds their presents but am never sure how much to give , My family are in well paid jobs , but there is 6 adults. Is £50 each in cash or gift cards as requested a reasonable amount. What do you think , thoughts please.
Family came to an agreement that we don't give Christmas or birthday presents, other than significant birthdays, after the age of 18. Younger members get £20 cash or voucher and for child's first Christmas a hand made stocking to hang up.
I love giving gifts. I dislike the giving of cash or vouchers. Unfortunately I seldom know what to give
I usually do a gift for the family a hamper with wine and chocolate or sometimes a game.
I am going to see on DS this weekend so I had better think quickly
They all earn far more than me but everyone loves to open something on Christmas day.
Our family had a different tradition and I prefer it. On your birthday you got either a big present or a party or a trip out to something special, and you choose the kind of cake you want too, So that is the individuals special day. Christmas was for everybody and definitely not large amounts of money spent. We firstly always had a genuine stocking?sock each, which of course (by our rules ) had to contain nuts , a couple of chocolate coins, in early days a halfcrown (ask the older people what that was!) usually one of those little puzzles where you rolled silver balls to go into a face or whatever, Then of course a sugar mouse complete with string tail, and a favourite magazine. Then the pillowcase contained various things but absolutely had to have a lovely new book that no one else had opened before, stationary, a toy and whatever annual you were wanting that year. we also had small chocolate or sweet things that were hung on the tree, but not to be used on christmas dya. NO they stayed there to be the lure to get us to take all the decorations down on 12th night and put all the baubles away in their packets etc and then we had the pleasure of eating these at the end of the job. We have also always , both in my youth and again with my son etc, gone through toy boxes at the beginnning of December to find out suitable toys jigsaws etc to give usually to our church to be passed on to those who had little. So christmas was a time for us to get presents, but we enjoyed giving presents more. We also as we were growing up but still at school so little money, gave presents of time. So I would offer 3 evenings babysitting at times that suited the person, or an offer to do the washing up for someone when they had company or when they had been baking or whatever. These were usually very well appreciated. I actually do like the smell of cherry blossom shoe polish and so I also used to offer X number of shoe cleaning of the whole families shoes for so long or another time said I would clean as many shoes as they could find but they also had to provide the appropriate shoe polishs that fitted specific shoes. I actually get quite a buzz seeing a lovely line of gleaming clean shoes, and the recipiant enjoyed hunting out every shoe they could find!! We felt that we could concentrate more on the real meaning of christmas and never allowed ourselves to go into debt for presents etc, but looking for a small gift but it could still be something that would delight the receiver. New year was making resolutions to improve on whatever we were doing but at least we did not look at owing large amounts . Much too frightening to feel you start the new year in debt. Oh we also did buy just one new bauble or special thing to go on the tree so we can look at the tree and know which year we bought whatever and what we were doing at that time. Well whatever floats your boat , hope you enjoy the day whatever you are doing
That all sounds lovely, Madeleine. Particularly the gifts of time.
Usually give AC Pressie + cash making it up to £100, GC £50 only got 2 of each. If they'd been more, might have a rethink!
So glad I read this thread! I am now getting my adult children theatre vouchers for Christmas.
I don't like giving money, as it seems very transactional, rather than being in the spirit of giving. I get gifts when they ask for something, and if they don't I get vouchers for treats, rather than generic ones which are basically the same as giving money. That way they know that I have thought about them, or they are getting something they want.
This year I have got restaurant vouchers for my son and DIL, as they are foodies who like to eat out. They are for a nice restaurant in their home city, so I know they'll be appreciated. My MIL often gets me vouchers for my hairdresser, which is always welcome after the expense of Christmas.
I only have two DD's . One's need is more than the others but we always make them the same.
I spend about £75 on each of them and their DH's and their families but give the GC pocket money when I see them.
This year I sent money to buy their own advent calendars and got a lovely photo of the display one GD had made for their hall.We laughed as she had made name tags knowing what my DD is like.
I always send a Bettys hamper to each family as well as it takes the pressure off having to cook when they come in from work.
If they need money through the year they know where they can ask. I would rather help now if a washer etc has broken than them inherit like I did after I have gone.
In our family adults exchange no gifts. We might do a bring one, take one exchange however even that has a ten dollar limit. Gifts for the little ones only. In the past we have veered from that agreement when a young adult has moved out on their own and is struggling a bit. But that gift is privately given. Many years ago when this started I remember my mother and aunts bringing some hand or homemade for each other.
I’m giving £40 and a little gift to my sons they all have well paid jobs and don’t really need it but I like to think it will be received kindly.
This year for the first time ever - we are not buying for our adult children/ just the GC
They are not going to buy for us either . Both live abroad & it’s so expensive to get here . We don’t need anything- and to be honest I feel they were relieved when I suggested it ! It’s taken a weight off the usual ‘what shall we buy ‘ etc try it and see how they feel . Christmas is too commercialised anyway and we all feel the pressure x
We do secret Santa for the adults -£75 limit so only one present for adults to buy and we get one decent present on the day ( we all do a wish list so will get something we want). Presents each for the GC but nothing lavish. There’s an app called Draw Names which organises the draw and you can post a wish list. As there’s 18 of us it takes a lot of pressure off.
I give my dgc..money wallets with £25 in each...if over 12 i raise it to £30 as we have 16 between us. Life is hard... but we do our bit xx
Both our children are in marriages where their joint incomes are quite high. Our grandchildren, all teenagers are used to getting quite expensive presents from their parents. There is nothing that our limited budget could buy that would match up to their expectations. What we now do is to give each family, they each have two children, £100.00 in cash to spend on having some family time together. It can either be added to an outing they have already planned, a movie night at home with a takeaway or whatever else might appeal to them. If I tried to buy eight individual presents at 25.00 each it would be a tiring exercise and the end product would be less than I would really have liked to spend on them. I would also add that two of them have birthdays two days before Christmas and I budget £50.00 for each of them, the same amount for every birthday to make things as fair as I can. We have to accept that our resources are now limited. Our children are actually very kind and generous to us.
Personally I dislike buying for adults with more money than me. I decide what I can afford and then buy toys for a local toy appeal, or a baby box for SiMBA, or food for a food bank, IMO a much better use of the money than buying for the sake of buying.
Feel free and send people the receipt for the gift you have donated on their behalf
How about 3 huge bags ( at reduced price ) of wild bird seed for my garden birds that had to be hastily put in large tins as the mice loved it - getting into the back of the large paper sacks . Thank you Dearest !
Thank you
Thank you for the gift
Thank you for the gift
Thank you for the gift or present
Thank you for the gift 💝
Lilypops you do not mention what the family give to you . If they shower you with things you do not need have a chat to the adults about reducing what you give to each other but still treat the children .
I am so happy we do not exchange gifts with any of the adults but give the granchildren a couple of hundred pounds each ( there are only two of them ) plus I but some other gifts for them as well . We as a couple get nothing from each other or anybody else and I would not have it any other way. That goes for birthdays as well .
She may not see this Floradora as OP was last year.
I don't give gifts of money at Christmas .
I give a small present and small presents through the year .
Chocolate , cheese ,
clothes and books are my usual gifts .
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