Partner refuses to speak to my 8 year old grandson

I hope you are in a relationship, not a marriage; this man sounds to be very difficult to live with and as uncompromising as a seven year old.
That said, children who constantly interrupt phone and zoom calls are extremely irritating.

Reading your original post through again I m really wondering if anyone can be as gullible as you to move abroad ‘for’ a man you have only been with a year, to not only leave all your family but be expected to stick to rigid rules of how to talk to them Sorry but if you’re for real you need to get the next plane home and send for your things or as it looks as if you are back home don’t go back Tell him he can pack up your things and send them on
What else will he dictate over what you wear, what you eat
He’s trying the old old game of dividing you from your family you don’t always see it when you’re in it but 99% on here can see it

By the way it’s nothing to do with an interrupting grandson it’s all to do with CONTROL

OldFrill

I wouldn't be ringing the self-centred git sorry husband, when grandson was there. I'd make sure the self-centred git sorry husband knows exactly where unreasonable behaviour and demands get him - silenced.

Whoaaaa can only agree wholeheartedly. 👍
This behaviour is pathetic to say the least and is awful for you. 💐

You are in a controlling and abusive relationship! He is slowly dividing you from your family.

What happens if he dies before you? You are by then estranged from your family. Run while you can!

I can’t understand why you moved away from your family to be with this controlling man in another country. He’s 78. He will only get worse, and maybe sick so you feel you can’t leave him. Get out while you still can.

How can your 8 year old grandson have a sleepover if you live abroad? and why are you alone?

He sounds absolutely horrible, get out while you can.

Pascal she is visiting the grandson in Uk atm and leaving the partner at their home overseas hence she will need to ring him

it’s nothing to do with an interrupting grandson it’s all to do with CONTROL

Indeed, BlueBelle.

Please, sandra13 look after yourself here. - It's a one-year relationship and already he is making misery out of your joys.
This man is not loving and supportive of you - he is undermining you family relationships and controlling them.

All good partners, in my opinion, will support you in the things that make you happy, they'll try to do small kindnesses for you to make it easy for you to spend time with people you love.

Abusive relationships are different- they selfishly control you to make them No.1 in your life and try to make sure that, as No.1, there isn't even a number 2 let alone a number 3,4,5 etc.

You will soon be isolated if uou stay with this man.

As M0nica says, this man is still behaving as an entitled 8 year old. Do you really want to give the rest of your life exclusively to him? You may think you love him - and maybe he has some good qualities (or chemistry) that pulls you to him - but this isn't healthy. Feeling love for someone who is controlling is not unusual. They tell you they are "looking after" you - because you are being "abused/taken for granted" etc by your rude/uncaring family and friends. This is truly not love...
He wants to isolate you.

Don't let him.

www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/warning-signs-sexual-abuse-teens-young-adults

Take the advice of all these very wise GNs. He will only become more controlling and drive a wedge between you and your family. As you’re in the UK now begin making plans to return permanently. You do not need this person in your life, believe me.
Please respond to the comments, so we know you are genuine.

Yes, children can be hyper excited, bad mannered and just plain rude but they are children. Learning that standards of behaviour vary depending on who you are with or where you are is a life long process. Plenty reach adulthood without learning. Yes, there are basic manners that should apply at all times but some re slow to learn this, how many rude adults do you know? At seven children still have much to learn. Your partner sounds awful, fancy sulking and being so unforgiving of a child. He could have tried a simple shush or indicted a finger over his lips just something to demonstrate it was a time to be quiet, he could have made it fun. Instead he chose to disengage on a long term basis and to brand the child as bad mannered and rude. He sounds extremely unpleasant, compounded by the fact that he doesn't see his own daughters. That is a clear sign he's not much good at family relationships. Please think hard about your future, being on your own can be a blessing compared to living with a miserable, controlling partner.

BlueBelle

Pascal she is visiting the grandson in Uk atm and leaving the partner at their home overseas hence she will need to ring him

Hi Bluebelle, if that is the case, and that is your assumption, maybe she has kept a home here and could move back if she wishes to.. as she hasn't come back it's difficult to know what the circumstances are.. I think that she knows that she is being controlled though.. hence the question..

sandra13
OMG , What a selfish & rude man is my thoughts, he is a grown man for heavens sake .
The fact that he has little or no contact with his own Daughter should have rung warning bells here .
There is in my opinion only one course of action & only you can make that decision.
Do you want your own Grandson to remember you with love & affection & be the person that he enjoys visiting in the here and now . Or as the person who has a partner who dictates to her what she should be doing & when he can or cannot speak .
On the other hand being both a Grandmother & a Step Grandmother it is hard . My own daughter has in the past told me I favour my Sons children ( I don’t they just live closer ) but that’s a different matter.
One of my own Grand daughters would never look at me when she spoke to me or would answer only to my Daughter, that’s what “ rude is “
Is he living in a world of “ Children should be seen & not heard “!
Yes , Children so often want you to instantly answer to their requests and questions.
And they can be rude in interrupting adults , no matter how many times they are told . At 8 years old maybe your GS should know better . But he is your GS & I am sure you know best how to deal with him . But what are you supposed to be doing sitting him down & saying when * OH is talking don’t interact: interrupt!
No , that’s striking the fear 😧 god in him & tbh your OH should at least try interacting with your GS .
It sounds like he is an all out bully and has no concept of how to deal with children either .

It sounds like your OH is a spoiled obnoxious brat who should toddle out of his playpen and start growing up!

A 78 year old behaving like a idiot. Wah-wah-woe-is-me type. It's understandable he's upset because he thinks your GS was rude to you but he's only 8, he's a kid who will eventually grow out of being ''rude''.

And OH doesn't get along with his own kids/grandkids either? Can you really imagine living the rest of your life with a self-entitled bully?

Unfortunately, this man does not love you unconditionally, sandra13. You have told us that he has nothing to do with his own granddaughters because his daughter dotes on them. In other words she loves them and that is a fault in his eyes. You love your grandson, another fault. His reasons for ignoring your grandson are trivial. He didn't like his manners so he must be shunned? Really? Look further into his relationships with people. Apart from yourself, who is he close to? If the answer is no one, then you have to ask yourself why. But I think you already know the answer and the advice you have been given here backs it up. Good luck.

He’d be ex-partner by now if I was you.

your other half of just over a year?

he shouldn't be interacting with your grandchildren in any way... it is your partner, nothing to do with your family! enjoy your grandchildren on your own!

you say you've given up time with your family to live abroad with him!
how could someone who loves their family move abroad with a man they've known for a year!

There must be a reason you are not saying as to why you are with him.

What a selfish man. Why put up with his rules? Either give him the boot, or put your foot firmly down.

pascal30

How can your 8 year old grandson have a sleepover if you live abroad? and why are you alone?

The way I read this is that OP is on a visit home alone without her OH and the GC is coming to sleep over. OP's OH is expecting her to send the GC to a different room every time he rings because he expects her undivided attention and no interruptions every time he deigns to ring her.

OP this has all the hallmarks of an abusive relationship. He is trying to isolate you - moving abroad, limiting contact with your family and trying to force you to "choose him" all the time. He is jealous and competing with a young child.

I would reevaluate whether you really want to spend your life in a controlling relationship away from your family.

Advice please.

I hope he's just a partner and you're not married to this man.
As they say on Mumsnet - LTB

You are with a man who likes to control you and is attempting to separate you from your family.
I hope you are not married to him so that you can just leave without difficulty.

Why no answers sandra ???