Do you find it annoying when people use a diminutive form of your name without asking?

When people use a diminutive version of a name the context lets me know when it's friendly or not. For instance a few people at Gransnet who have very long names are referred to by their initials which is a sort compliment to them.

Would you expect to receive an official letter say from the council that addresses you as “dear Dot”? Wouldn’t you expect it to be at least Dorothy? A paid official should at least show respect and act in a professional manner. In certain circumstances it is important to maintain that distance or you lose credibility.

When it comes to friends or acquaintances it’s different but why wouldn’t you use the person’s preferred form of address? I have one friend who is Elisabeth and two others who are Liz. I respect their wishes.

I hate it. Especially when I meet people for the first time, for example, and they ask what my name is and I say Susan (not my really name) and then they say “well Suzie, blah blah”

I’ve just told them my name and they make up a new one. Why??

My name can’t be shortened, but some friends and family lengthen it to their own pet names for me and I don’t mind a jot. What does have me eye rolling is that my SISTERS almost always spell it incorrectly - even when they’re WhatsApping me and it’s there in front of them.

My two sons have names that can be shortened, but both would correct someone who did that. My children all love the names they were given.

No, but then my name doesn’t lend itself to shortening.
But if it did I expect I would still find infinitely more serious things to irritate me!

My name can be shorted in a couple of different ways - I answer to all versions.

"shortened" not "shorted"

I have found that in some parts of Essex it’s not uncommon for a name to be shortened to just the initial. It’s never bothered me.

Grammaretto

I remember being on an escalator once when a small child behind yelled "mummy!" and everyone turned round!

[Grin]

Blossoming

There isn’t a diminutive of my name.

Well, there us unless you just have one initial as a name! Lol

I am just happy that anyone talks to me but I am sad! Haha!

*is not us.

My first name is only 5 letters so there isnt a short form of it. I never use a short form in addressing people in emails. I simply copy and paste the name as signed in the communication. Some of the names my American customers have are double (think Peggy Sue) so I always used the same form.

Yes it does annoy me when someone I do not know (or wish to know) uses my first name. I have been known to remind them in a suitably frosty tone that "my name is for friends and family so you may call me Dr Biglouis". If they are trying to sell me anything or get me to do something for them the conversation goes rapidly downhill from there.

One day at school, was walking down corridor when a teacher came to the end of it so that she could just see my back. She began to call me by a dimunitive. I ignored her and walked on. Finally she said my full name, first name and family name, and I responded

She then said to me quite angrily, Didn't you hear me calling you? To which my response was I am sorry, I didn't know you were calling me. There was nothing she could say.

My name, in full, has 9 letters. I rarely get the whole name, except by my BiL who seems to really like it, or if I'm drifting off -ADHD- in which case my DD has a good eye at noticing this so she might suddenly snap her fingers at me, using my full name, and ask, "......... are you still with me?"
It can be shortened to roughly 7 or more names, but most people use just the one shortening, which I've had the majority of my life so I'm fine with it.
However, some try to take it further by using other diminutives of it, and they are told that isn't my name. If they carry on, they are ignored until they get it right but in some instances, for really stubborn people, I'll find something they don't like and use it on them until they get my name right!!

I use the short form of my name anyway - my mother only used the full version when she was cross! - but my FiL always used the long name, just because he liked it.

A Dd never liked the short version of hers, and got very annoyed with a ballet teacher who persistently used it. She was still at junior school age though - if older I’m sure she’d have had a very firm but polite word! Not that she last long at ballet anyway…

A schoolfriend of hers was actually christened with the short form, and despite having been repeatedly told that this was the case, one teacher kept on using the long form.

In the end the girl just stopped answering to it - it was evidently the only way.

My name cannot be shortened luckily. However I’m of the age when I am still taken aback by the use of it by total strangers when I would expect to be addressed as Mrs AlasNo ! This happens every time I see a doctor, dentist, and recently a chap in a phone shop. I think it’s over familiar and unprofessional.

flappergirl

Germanshepherdsmum

How can shortening someone’s name be an attempt to control ? Bizarre.

I agree. As I've already said, in Bristol it is the norm and classed as a form of affection, acceptance even. I suppose it depends on the context though. The poster feels they are doing it in a demeaning way.

Not just in a demeaning way flappergirl.

Ask yourself, if you have said, for example, 'Samantha' when introducing yourself, why would a person then call you 'Sam'? It could just be that they are ill-mannered or uneducated (forgivable).

But if you then say "I prefer Samantha, by the way" and they still continue, they are taking control of your name and I would see that as a red flag for a controlling nature.

I prefer my name to be shortened and if, for instance, a medical professional uses my proper name I ask to be addressed by the shorter name. I don’t like being addressed formal as Mrs xxxx.
Friends and family use various nicknames, I quite like that.
I am glad however my parents didn’t call me Sabrina after a model at the time, it was considered.
(No offence to any with that name).

My dentist asked how I wished to be addressed full first name or shortened which is very polite and courteous.

My son only has 3 letters in his name but his work colleagues gave him a nickname as they felt his name was too short!

My boy has a two syllable name so people shorten it to one.
Then they add the same short name after it, which makes it sound girly.

I get more worried when people use the full name - I feel like my mum is telling me off!

I think our names are an important part of our self image, and so how they are used is important to us.
My full name was used as a child only when my mother was cross with me, so has negative connotations, also when in formal situations such as doctor’s or dentist’s.
Otherwise my shortened name used by all, but when spelled wrongly it looks alien and unfriendly to me 😱