Do you find it annoying when people use a diminutive form of your name without asking?

I feel guilty now because I often used to reduce some of my tutor group's names. They were special to me. I called one girl Manda, and as she got older, Mand. We were getting near the end of our time together, they were in Y11, leaving for 6th form college, I was going to another school, when one of her friends said, in passing, politely and probably without thinking, 'You do know her name starts with an A, don't you?'

Some of them are grandparents now, though in my head they're still 16.

But if you then say "I prefer Samantha, by the way" and they still continue, they are taking control of your name and I would see that as a red flag for a controlling nature

No just cloth ears and an absence of brain cells.

No names, no pack drill, but I wonder how many people who are outraged by diminutives being used, still refer to Princess Kate or even worse Kate Middleton?

MissAdventure

My boy has a two syllable name so people shorten it to one.
Then they add the same short name after it, which makes it sound girly.

That’s your fault for calling him Sue!
😂

My name is short anyway but work colleagues sometimes add a y to the end of it.I don’t know why, but don’t mind.
My uncle Terry was always called Tel 😄

Lesson learned.
The next boy will be Angela, for sure.

MissInterpreted

No, as mine can't be shortened. Although sometimes people do assume that my name is the shortened version of a longer name, which in my case, it isn't and is a name in its own right. Think of it like being named Maggie at birth, but people assuming you were actually named Margaret.

I get that, too.

I heard this originally from a psychologist family member, RosiesMaw but your reasoning may well also apply on occasions. It made me smile which is a good antidote to either personality.

People don't shorten by name , but make it longer !

One friend has done it for about 30 years even though she knows that I really hate it !

I quite like my pet names .

Grandma70s

I wouldn’t like it, but it’s not really possible to shorten the name I am known by (my middle name).

It annoys me when people shorten my sons’ names, but it doesn’t bother them.

I’m interested in names, and like to read any Births columns that list the baby names - the Telegraph, fo example. I’m surprised by how many people use diminutives as given names, such as Alfie, Charlie, even Joey. Not so many girls’ names, but I have known an Annie. I always imagine how a name is going to sound when read out at their graduation or wedding.

When I was looking into my family tree, I found an aunt Annie of both sides of my mother's family, both born late 19th century. One was known as Nan, and the other was known as Nance, but in both cases, their formal name (birth certificate, marriage cert etc) was Annie.

DaisyAnneReturns

I heard this originally from a psychologist family member, RosiesMaw but your reasoning may well also apply on occasions. It made me smile which is a good antidote to either personality.

One of my D’s is a psychotherapist and she believes firmly that while
“Suffering is universal, victimhood is optional” - so like Eleanor Roosevelt said - (to paraphrase) nobody can put you down without your consent.

Chardy

Grandma70s

I wouldn’t like it, but it’s not really possible to shorten the name I am known by (my middle name).

It annoys me when people shorten my sons’ names, but it doesn’t bother them.

I’m interested in names, and like to read any Births columns that list the baby names - the Telegraph, fo example. I’m surprised by how many people use diminutives as given names, such as Alfie, Charlie, even Joey. Not so many girls’ names, but I have known an Annie. I always imagine how a name is going to sound when read out at their graduation or wedding.

When I was looking into my family tree, I found an aunt Annie of both sides of my mother's family, both born late 19th century. One was known as Nan, and the other was known as Nance, but in both cases, their formal name (birth certificate, marriage cert etc) was Annie.

There are Annies going back several generations in my husband's family. My late MiL was always very particular to point out to people that her name was Annie and not Ann or Anne.

My name is very difficult to abbreviate.
Wouldn't give a monkey's if someone called me by a shorter version of my name....
Glad people talk to me at all......

My name has several abbreviations and one of them is my preferred name. It’s my identity though I’m more than happy to be called my full name.
One abbreviation though is one that I hate and I bristle if anyone calls me by that name. Or I just don’t answer.

I would never say anything but if someone I barely know calls me the shortened version of my name after I have told them the full version that I have always been called yes it does annoy me.I just don't like the diminutive and it doesn't feel like 'me'.It feels like they are talking to someone else.

One's name is personal and expression of who one is.

I think in this modern woke world, not calling someone by the name they want used would be classified as a micro-aggression (don't all roll your eyes)!!!!!

I have my name lengthened in quite a few ways. It has always been affectionate and it doesn’t bother me at all.

Growing up in inner city Liverpool, shortening, lengthening names and nicknames were rife and all in good humour. “Tattyhead” being one of mine. Never taken with umbrage.

Grown up, there’s a time and place for suchlike.

I prefer the shortened version of mine, and have used it to introduce myself since I was a teenager. I think one or two remote cousins may still use the full version, along with over-familiar businesses who prefer it to my family name.

We call my niece by a totally different name as she adopted her second name when she changed countries. We did ask which she wanted us to call her and was happy for family to stay with the original.

My son is only called by his full name by his sister, his uncle and me. He moved to the shortened version in his teens. When I asked if he wanted me to call him the shortened version he just said "that would be really odd"

I agree with you 25Avalon in a business situation it is very rude to mess with your name, and I would be most unhappy about it.

Of course there are ignorant people who do it deliberately, think they are clever, including misspelling names.

I don’t mind people shortening my name and to be honest I have more important things to worry about!
My daughter is called Rebecca and always called Becca by her family yet every job she’s had it’s been shortened to Becky. She was even given a name badge with ‘Becky’ on. She just laughed about it.

I chose names for our two sons that could never be shortened in any way and my name also cannot be altered.

DGS has a 3 letter name. He still gets various versions of it.

Much worse when someone calls me lovely!