Too young for Alcohol?

Yes, it's the op's son who is being given alcohol.

poppyred and missadventure - I understood that the OP is a grandparent.

NotSpaghetti

poppyred and missadventure - I understood that the OP is a grandparent.

Me too!

If the OP is a grandparent and her son is being plied with lager then something strange is going on ...

I think that the OP has missed out "grandson" from her post.

I’m really not happy about my Dd and Dsil buying my 15 year old (16 in a couple of months) a bottle of larger when they go out for a meal

Possibly, although it could be that he is her DD's brother, ie her son? In which case, she should make the rules.

I'm pretty sure the OP has omitted the word "grandson" otherwise the rest of it doesn't make sense. She would say "he goes with my husband fishing etc".

Anyway, my parents always allowed me small amounts of alcohol from the age of around 10. This was the 60's and there was rarely alcohol in the house and going out for a meal was almost unheard of. But if I asked for a little bit of advocaat or a sip of mum's cherry brandy at Christmas I was not denied it. Likewise I was allowed a glass of wine with Christmas dinner and any other occasions it may have been on offer.

They had lived in Italy and their attitude, in my opinion, was quite healthy. I didn't want to sit around the war memorial drinking strong cider with the other village kids when I turned 16. It wasn't a novelty and seemed very uncouth.

I like a drink, it is fair to say, and I have a glass of wine in the evening 2 or 3 times a week and I also like a cocktail or two if I go out for a meal but since being widowed that is a rarity.

My friends' son, when he was around 18, together with his friends, would buy a bottle of spirits which they would consume before going out because it was cheaper than buying drinks in whichever club they ended up in.

When his father remonstrated with him, the son would say that he'd seen his father when he'd had a little too much to drink. What the son didn't understand that his father was slightly pissed as a result of an enjoyable evening with friends, rather than getting pissed before going out for he evening.

The son is now in his mid 40s and doesn't huge amounts anymore. He just grew up.

My sons are now 42 and 40, but when they got to 15, they used to have a "treat night" on Fridays, when they'd choose pizzas and a couple of cans of lager, which they had at home (My husband and I were in) so that drinking was monitored. Neither of them suffered any ill-effects.

A lager sounds OK to me .
It's not excessive .
I wouldn't worry .

When mine were younger, I preferred them to drink around me safely than slink off into a field and get ratted with their mates. 15/16 is an average age I'd say these days to be introduced to alcohol.

I think it is a better way of him trying alcohol, he would try it anyway but it would be with his mates and possibly too much.

Sorry!
What a blunder, he is my Grandson.

DollyD

Sorry!
What a blunder, he is my Grandson.

🙂

Oh, apologies.
I don't agree at all with minors having alcohol, but well...
I'm sure a lot of them do anyway.

Whether we agree or not, I'm sure most of them will.

I'd rather not be the supplier, though.

DollyD

Sorry!
What a blunder, he is my Grandson.

Ah right. Let his parents decide then.

I raised two boys, both now in their 40's, one rarely drinks ie at Xmas and New Year, he'll have a glass or two.
The other will drink occasionally.
This has always been the case.

I think in part it's due to allowing them the occasional bottle of beer/lager with a meal from the age of 14/15. It doesn't become a big deal to them.
I was allowed the same growing up too and have never been a big drinker.
Perhaps it's just the way 'we' are but I do tend to think an element of strictness in parenting can develop an element of sneakiness in young people.
Rules and boundaries absolutely but tempered with common sense.

There is a great deal of evidence and there was an article In Sunday Times a few months ago on the detrimental affect alcohol has on teenage brains . Sorry unable to find article now but if you google alcohol and teenage brains it will bring up the information.
Obviously the parents are in charge but they may not know about this research, diplomacy essential if after reading you think they should be aware.

The minimum legal age to drink alcohol is five years old, according to Google. Not recommended though.

Smileless2012

Perhaps they prefer him to have a larger when he's with them so he wont feel the need to drink with friends when his parents aren't around DollyD.

I'm glad you've bitten your tongue as this is between your D, s.i.l. and their son.

He’s not their son he is the OP son.

When I was 16 years old (in 1962) I stayed with a French family. They had 6 children including a baby of 18 months. The baby was always given a drink of diluted wine at mealtimes. He is now in his sixties and is a doctor, so it didn't do him any harm.

Norah

I understand.

I'd not like this at all, and I'd say not a word.

His parents, their rules.

They are not his parents, the OP is.

Shelflife

I would 'nt worry too much about this . In the grand scheme of things it is no big deal - there are many other issues of greater importance that I hope you never have to worry about. Legally he is of course too young to drink alcohol but that is for his parents to think about - not you . You are wise to keep quiet about this. He is almost 16 and will be 18 before you can turn round ! and able to chose for himself whether to drink alcohol or not. Try not to get too involved with this , he is his parents responsibility not yours - that is one of the joys of being a GP. However I recognize your concern.

He is not their son he is the OP son.

Suggest you don't say anything - it's for his parents to decide and also if alcohol is seen as an exciting 'forbidden' thing isn't it more likely that he might over-do it as soon as he is 18?