Your family have moved for whatever reason that suited them, and they were aware of where you live and the financial situation in the various areas. They had CHOICE and used it. Why should they think that you would want to go through all the hassle of moving and all that entails, to a less comfortable , less spacious home, using up your finances and leaving your friends and life that you have built up, just to be available for their convenience? If you wanted to move that would be a different matter. There seems very little element of choice in the situation for you, more an implied sort of blackmail that ,if you dont move there ,you will see less or be less involved in their lives. I am sure that if you related the same scenario where parents were expected to uproot themselves for the benefit of the children, about some fictitious friends, they would be quite likely to say how unfair that was etc, whereupon you could say well that is what you want me to do! Even without mentioning this at all, and as we all are prepared to help our children when possible, it does not mean that we should totally upset our lives , simply for their benefit. You DO have a life of your own, and are not just hanging about waiting to be of use to them! Whilst they may have lots of reasons, prices or whatever, to have no spare room, they should be looking at the situation from any visitors point of view, - not just yours - so maybe there is a b/b close by , or a simple hotel, but life should be a balance, So while we never want to be counting in the "I did that for you so you should do this for me" decent relationships and partnerships of any kind work best when there is give and take, on BOTH sides, not you give and they take!! I would choose to stay in the home I loved and want my children and grandchildren to be in touch and visit ,as I would visit them ,because we wanted to be with each other and not to just to be used . ( Another idea, rather naughtily came to me ! You could say "O yes. Then you would be near enough to ...take me out, look after me, take me to the doctors etc etc. "}So you have lived the life many of us have lived , fitting in with family needs and moving for things like change of jobs. Now it is your time to consider your own needs and wishes. If you are happy where you are and have a bit of a financial cushion, why the heck would you want to move to something that suits you less.? Of course there is also the fact that at sometime in the future , they may need to move , for work or whatever and you could end up stuck in a place you do not want to be in. Stay independant and enjoy your home.My old old way I used to suggest to students or friends, was to have 2 pieces of paper, on one write the pro s , and on the other the con s . Each time you think of something, add it to the list and fold over each time. Then after a while, get the lists out and look at them. You will see how things group together and can see patterns. Some things are very obvious and others can be surprising. But the point of it is to do it for yourself. No one else needs see the paper, and no one else will be influencing the list. Keep that stashed away somewhere, and when your family have made you feel guilty, upset, annoyed, go back and look at your lists and know that these are the things that really affect your life and you have every right to do what suits you. Good luck to you , you have survived all that life has thrown at you, enjoy yourself and do as you want, so long as you keep within the law. There are no pockets in shrouds, so treat yourself kindly and dont feel the slightest bit guilty!!
